"Åndenes Makt" Svada? Eller er det kanskje noe i det?

[Stifi]

Tror heller på alver under senga, spaghettimonstre i skapet eller tekanner i bane rundt Jupiter , jeg. Like plausibelt i min bok.

[Jalla]

Ja, jeg leser ting som dette, men det passer ikke inn i det jeg ser rundt meg. Hva mener du om valgfrihet for eksempel? Kan du velge å spise en pizza istedetfor litt spaghetti? Eller spiser en spaghetti fordi kjemien i hjernen har blitt påvirket på en slik måte at det er det man spiser? Vil en ved hjelp av disse elementærpartiklene dine, kjemi og målbare verdier kunne spore tilbake det faktum at jeg nå sitter her og venter på at noen hamburgere skal varme seg i en stekepanne på kjøkkenet? Mener du at alt forutbestemt fra begynnelsen av?

 

Valg foretas på grunnlag av erfaring og positive/negative konnotasjoner med valgmulighetene i en gitt situasjon. Dette er helt klart noe som kan måles - og som har blitt målt - ved å analysere blodgjennomstrømning, hvilke nevroner og synapser som er aktive, elektrokjemiske endringer og annet kan en avgjøre hvilke deler av hjernen og hvilken tilstand som føret til et bestemt utfall.

Anbefaler David Linden, Steven Pinker og Richard Wisemans bøker om emnet

 

Jeg er ikke deterministisk, det er bare å lese en smule om kvantefysikk så skjønner en at det er et håpløst ståsted, men en skjønner ikke mye mer avkvantefysikk jo mer en leser for det, det er til å irritere seg grønn av, hehe

Endret 8. september 2008 av Jalla

[Svish]

@Jalla

 

@Andre1983

Den er grei. Men grunnet mitt livssyn og overbevisning om at det er noe mer, så kan jeg ikke si meg enig. Og jeg synes egentlig det er litt skummelt å gå inn på de tankeveiene der. Grunnen? Vel, i nyhetene i dag har vi nok et tilfelle av en idiot som har holdt datteren sin innestengt og missbrukt henne. Vi har også en rekke drapssaker, og diverse andre grusomme saker. Dersom en drar det naturalistiske livssynet helt ut, ender man opp med nihilisme. Det denne faren gjorde, var ikke galt. Det var jo ikke en gang hans feil. Han kunne jo ikke noe for det. Valget om å gjøre det var jo forutbestemt. Med andre ord kan han verken straffes eller holdes skyldig for noe som helst. Samme med skyteepisodene på diverse skoler. Hadde verden vært fullstendig naturalistisk så tror jeg vi ville brydd oss like mye om slike episoder som et tre ville brydd seg om at nabotreet blåste ned. Men det gjør vi jo ikke...

 

Uansett, nå går vi kanskje en liten smule off topic. Så tror jeg stopper her. Har allerede sagt hva jeg mener om temaet i denne tråde

Endret 9. september 2008 av Tussi_qwerty

[RWS]

***Vi har også en rekke drapssaker, og diverse andre grusomme saker. Dersom en drar det naturalistiske livssynet helt ut, ender man opp med nihilisme. Det denne faren gjorde, var ikke galt. Det var jo ikke en gang hans feil. Han kunne jo ikke noe for det. Valget om å gjøre det var jo forutbestemt. Med andre ord kan han verken straffes eller holdes skyldig for noe som helst. Samme med skyteepisodene på diverse skoler. Hadde verden vært fullstendig naturalistisk så tror jeg vi ville brydd oss like mye om slike episoder som et tre ville brydd seg om at nabotreet blåste ned. Men det gjør vi jo ikke...

Her drar du dette på vidåtta syns jeg, for du forutsetter at ALLE ville gjort det samme som i disse sakene hvis vi alle har et naturalistisk sn på ting, noe jeg har, men jeg ville jo ikke funnet på noe slikt fordet.....

 

Du forutsetter også, hvis jeg leser dette riktig mellm linjene, at verden ville gått lukt til helvette hvis vi ikke hadde en gud å støtte oss til og jeg ville hatt glede av å sett på hvilket grunnlag du trekker den konklusjonen fra.. ?

 

Vel, nok off topic.

 

 

Det virker faktisk litt som om du VIL ha noe overnaturlig å tro på, ikke fordi du trenger dette men fordi du vil ha det.... Det tilfører deg en mystikk og noe å tenke på liksom...

 

JEg tror, som du sikkert har skjønt, at ting har naturlige forklaringer. Dette fordi jeg til dags dato ikke har funnet noe av det du kaller overnaturlig som annet enn naturlige ting. Jeg går foreksempel gjerne over en kirkegård midt på natten fordi jeg vet at jeg er trygg der, men det tror jeg ikke du ville gjort, da du er mer tilbøyelig til å tro på at du vil møte ånder og lignende der.... Jeg gikk i en to års periode fast over en kirkegård på vei hjem fra jobben på natten, både fordi det er kortere og fordi det er tryggere å gå der (alt for mange tørr ikke fordi de er overtroiske og faktisk tror det kommer folk opp fra graven osv... ). Men i løpet av de to årene så jeg ingen der, ikke spøkelser, ikke døde på vei opp eller ned i gravene sine.... Tror du at du, som er "åpen" for dette, ville funnet dette hvis du hadde gått der halv to på natta? Siden du er mer "åpen" enn meg? Eller tror du, som jeg, at det ikke hadde vært noen forskjell?

 

[Svish]

Nei, mener ikke at alle ville gjort det samme. Ting ville vært akkurat som nå. Forskjellen er at en ikke kan stille personen som gjorde det til ansvar for handlingen sin. Og da ender man opp med at ingen er ansvarlige, som igjen, etter min mening, ville endt i kaos. Er jo bare å se hvordan ting er rundt i verden nå egentlig... Folk oppfører seg jo bare mindre og mindre ansvarlig... Og nå mener jeg ikke _alle_ men mange, og jeg kan i hvert fall se en liten trend. I skolen for eksempel. Var det vanlig å banke opp lærerne sine før liksom? Virker jo som det, litt overdrevet, skjer hele tiden.

 

Jeg har faktisk ingen problemer med å gå over en kirkegård, hverken om dagen eller natten. Grunnen er ganske enkelt den at jeg tror det bibelen sier, og ikke det filosofer har funnet på i etterkant. Bibelen lærer at når en dør, så dør man. døde vet ingenting, og er rett og slett døde. Dette med at mennesket er en todelt sak med en kropp og en udødelig sjel er noe som noen har funnet på i etterkant. Denne tanken har dessverre sneket seg inn i stort sett de fleste kristne kirkesamfunn og øvrige religioner, og er vel grunnen til at det i det hele tatt er et marked for underholding og "rådgivning" gjennom gjenferd og spøkelser. -> Truth about death

 

Da sier jeg foreløpig takk for meg i denne diskusjonen

Endret 9. september 2008 av Tussi_qwerty

[RWS]

Nei, mener ikke at alle ville gjort det samme. Ting ville vært akkurat som nå. Forskjellen er at en ikke kan stille personen som gjorde det til ansvar for handlingen sin. Og da ender man opp med at ingen er ansvarlige, som igjen, etter min mening, ville endt i kaos. Er jo bare å se hvordan ting er rundt i verden nå egentlig... Folk oppfører seg jo bare mindre og mindre ansvarlig... Og nå mener jeg ikke _alle_ men mange, og jeg kan i hvert fall se en liten trend. I skolen for eksempel. Var det vanlig å banke opp lærerne sine før liksom? Virker jo som det, litt overdrevet, skjer hele tiden.

Neida tull og tøys. Folk oppfører seg ikke noe verre enn før, det er bare du som syntes det fordi du er blitt eldre og oppfatter det slik

 

Jeg har faktisk ingen problemer med å gå over en kirkegård, hverken om dagen eller natten. Grunnen er ganske enkelt den at jeg tror det bibelen sier, og ikke det filosofer har funnet på i etterkant. Bibelen lærer at når en dør, så dør man. døde vet ingenting, og er rett og slett døde.

Akkurat mitt point også, er man død så ER man død. End of story... Sjelen har vi forøvrig heller aldri funnet beviser for annet enn at hjernen er styrt av kjemiste og elektriske impulser... Vi går altså ikke videre til neste "liv". (Håper og tror jeg da )

 

Men hvorfor tror du da på en rekke andre overnaturlige "ting"?

 

Eller har du meldt deg helt ut?

 

[Svish]

Kan vel prøve å svare på det også da

 

Den "overnaturlige" "tingen" jeg tror på, er Gud. Jeg tror Gud er konstant, har alltid vært, kommer alltid til å være, og er i seg selv sin egen eksistens. Eller hvordan en nå skal si det... Alt annet som eksisterer er skapt av Gud av en grunn og med en hensikt. Inkludert engler og mennesker (Satan og demoner er kun navn som er blitt gitt henholdsvis engelen som startet bråket i himmelen, og englene som valgte å følge han).

 

Uansett, når vi lever, utvikler vi en personlighet, en karakter, etc. Jeg tror at når vi dør, så dør vi, og vi er midlertidig ferdige. Vi ligger i jorda og rotner, eventuelt er spredd utover et hav eller hva som nå enn måtte skje med oss når/mens vi dør. Bibelen beskriver døden som en søvn. Så på samme måte som når man sover (uten å drømme) så merker en liksom ikke at en har sovet. Det bare... skjedde liksom, og så var man plutselig et hopp frem i tid (for eksempel når man snooza vekkerklokka, og tiden plutselig var en time videre istedet for 2 minutter. hater når det skjer...). Jeg tror at Jesus kommer til å komme igjen, ganske snart, og han har lovt å vekke oss til live igjen. Ettersom Gud er kilden til liv, og hadde kraft nok til å skape dette universet i utgangspunktet, så har han også kraft til å gi oss livet tilbake, med samme karakter og personlighet som vi hadde. Men uten sykdom og slikt. Men nå er man jo veeldig inne på bibelens budskap, så trenger ikke si så mye mer. Oppsummering: Jeg tror på en Gud som har all makt i himmel og på jord. Dette innebærer også makt til å skape, og å gjenskape et menneske.

 

Du mener sikkert jeg er sinnsyk som kan tro noe sånt, og det er helt greit

 

Twenty Arguments For The Existence Of God

[RWS]

Du mener sikkert jeg er sinnsyk som kan tro noe sånt, og det er helt greit

Neida, ikke sinnsyk. Jeg deler ikke det synet bare og det er jo helt greit. At jeg ikke forstår hvorfor du har det synet er noe helt annet, men aksepterer at du har det. (Er ikke tilhenger av vold mot de som ikke mener det samme som meg nei.... Tror i bunn og grunn ikke at vi er så utrolig forskjellige, vi deler bare ikke enkelte grunnsyn på ting og tang, that's all! Ingenting å gå ting å gå til krig for ihvertfall... he he )

[Turtlis]

Mange av disse programmene som går på feks FEM er faktisk bare pisspreik!

Det amerikanske som går på tvnorge søndager, er ikke hun ene dama tatt for svindel og sitter fengslet tro? Det programmet har jeg lest er bare tull.

Så jeg vet ikke hva jeg skal tro, når det er så mye useriøst.

På en annen side så er det jo tydelig at det er NOE!

Jeg har bekjente som ser og føler ting.

 

Det blir litt vanskelig å tro på ting når man ikke har opplevd noe.

[RWS]

Jeg har bekjente som ser og føler ting.

 

Det blir litt vanskelig å tro på ting når man ikke har opplevd noe.

 

Hadde JEG hatt sånne bekjente hadde jeg opptrådt ytterst skeptisk til hva de påstår og sier.....

 

Jeg HAR opplevd en hel masse av dette folk ser på som "overnaturlig" i form av tydelige trappe knirk (Jeg HØRTE det kom en opp trappen men det var ingen der når jeg sjekket....) , skritt og "stemmer" på loftet (Med samme resultat, det var ingen der...) osv men har alltid funnet en naturlig forklaring på disse "fenomenene"..... (Trappe knirk og skritt på loftet og stemmene skyltes ganske enkelt at huset "flyttet" på seg høst og vår grunnet tæle... Enkelt ikke sant?)

 

Jeg personlig har alltid nektet å tro på spøkelser og tusser og troll og gjenferd da jeg alltid har hatt stor tro på at det finnes en naturlig forklaring på dette. På disse TV programmene er jo gjenferdene til og med onde (med husmorTV effekter i bakgrunn såklart ) men jeg lurer på hvorfor ingen av disse fæle gjenferdene jeg har vært borti har vært onde....

 

I og med at det ikke finnes et eneste bevis for NOE av dette enda dette er testet både grundig og vitenskapelig hundrevis, tusenvis av ganger, holder ihvertfall jeg meg for god til å holde "overnaturlig" som noen forklaring på fenomenet... OG holder muligheten åpen for å smile litt i skjegget (hvis jeg hadde hatt skjegg...) av folk som blir vettaskremte av dette og som helt og holdent tror på dette......

 

Sorry, men jeg ser på det hele som en drøy vits... Det har ingen hold i virkeligheten... Ihvertfall ikke enda...

Endret 9. september 2008 av RWS

[Svish]

Du mener sikkert jeg er sinnsyk som kan tro noe sånt, og det er helt greit

Neida, ikke sinnsyk. Jeg deler ikke det synet bare og det er jo helt greit. At jeg ikke forstår hvorfor du har det synet er noe helt annet, men aksepterer at du har det. (Er ikke tilhenger av vold mot de som ikke mener det samme som meg nei.... Tror i bunn og grunn ikke at vi er så utrolig forskjellige, vi deler bare ikke enkelte grunnsyn på ting og tang, that's all! Ingenting å gå ting å gå til krig for ihvertfall... he he )

Men da er vi jo helt enige på det området i alle fall

[Turtlis]

Jeg har bekjente som ser og føler ting.

 

Det blir litt vanskelig å tro på ting når man ikke har opplevd noe.

 

Hadde JEG hatt sånne bekjente hadde jeg opptrådt ytterst skeptisk til hva de påstår og sier.....

Vel, du hadde nok blitt enda mer skeptisk hvis de kunne fortelle deg konkete ting om feks som ting har skjedd, eller ting som kommer til å skje

[Nidaroo]

Hvordan kan de som går her og sier det ikke finnes? Må da vel være folk som ikke har opplevd det enda, som ikke tror på det. Vel å merke ganske logisk, "man tror ikke det, før man får se det". Men er vel ikke noe ukjent myte at det går igjen folk her og der i feks, gamle hus.

 

Det er en slags energi som gjør at de går igjen elns, og med tanke på at enkelte tror det er snakk om fysisk gå igjen, kan troen både og være. Er nok kun en energi som utgjør kraften eller noe. Har selv opplevd i det gamle huset våres, at en stol plutselig har flyttet seg imens jeg satt ved siden av. Samt mye gåing oppe på loftet også faktisk at en eld gammel klokke begynte å gå igjen etter 7 års pause.

Endret 9. september 2008 av Nidaroo

[RWS]

Hvordan kan de som går her og sier det ikke finnes? Må da vel være folk som ikke har opplevd det enda, som ikke tror på det. Vel å merke ganske logisk, "man tror ikke det, før man får se det". Men er vel ikke noe ukjent myte at det går igjen folk her og der i feks, gamle hus.

 

Det er en slags energi som gjør at de går igjen elns, og med tanke på at enkelte tror det er snakk om fysisk gå igjen, kan troen både og være. Er nok kun en energi som utgjør kraften eller noe. Har selv opplevd i det gamle huset våres, at en stol plutselig har flyttet seg imens jeg satt ved siden av. Samt mye gåing oppe på loftet også faktisk at en eld gammel klokke begynte å gå igjen etter 7 års pause.

 

Nå må det også huskes på hvor mye DU selv er villig til å legge i dette nettopp for å få dette til å stemme også da...

 

Hvis du tar på andre briller, for å si det sånn, er det ikke sikkert at du hodestups ville dratt de samme konklusjonene... Og siden vi mennesker er eksperter på å se mønstre der det ikke er noe mønstre, og derved lure oss selv til å bygge opp med flere ting til vi faktisk TROR det vi ser, er jeg litt i tvil om folk FAKTISK ser det de påstår å ha sett.... Du vil bli forbløffet hvis du visste hvor god hjernen vår er til dette.... og sett på "spøkelser" ol med litt større skepsis du også....

 

At klokka begynte å gå igjen KAN være at den hang litt i mekanikken og en risting i gulvet fikk mekanikken i gang igjen. For skal du være ærlig med deg selv er det jo faktisk ikke en eneste grunn i verden til at "noe" skulle ha en grunn til å få dem klokka igang igjen, er det vel? Spør deg i såfall om hvorfor "det/noen/spøkelset" skulle gjøre det? Og i så fall, hvorfor kjøre igang en klokke? Hvorfor ikke reparere bilen din, male huset ditt eller lignende, Da hadde jeg blitt imponert ihvertfall! Men ei gammel klokke? Næææ, høres søkt ut...

Endret 9. september 2008 av RWS

[isaac elric]

dagens spøkelseshistorier og de fleste andre overnaturlig ting er nok svada. dog jeg tror noe av det kan ha noe for seg; vi mangler bare en naturlig forklaring på det.

 

når flere personer hevder å ha opplevd overnaturlig ting, spøkelser eller whatever i et hus så tror jeg har noe for seg.

jeg tviler på at det er tante margretha eller en annen person som går igjen fordi VI liker å tro at det er sånn. det er en annen forklaring på det, en vi ikke har funnet ennå.

 

hvem vet, kanskje det er en ustabil tidsrift i dimmensjoner hvor fortid, framtid og nåtid blandes akkurat på det stedet.

eller kanskje det bare er en sopp eller noe annet kjemikalje i lufta som gjør at folk hallusinerer?

eller kanskje magnetisme på akkurat det stedet ( se god helmet på wiki ) gjør at folk opplever rare ting.

 

jeg tror nok noen av fenomene faktisk skjer, ja, men årsaken ( ala de døde prøver å kontakte oss forklaring ) er noe helt annet.

 

åndenes makt er svada, men nå er det jo meninga at dem skal tjene penger på det

.

Endret 9. september 2008 av IsaachElric

[cs_]

Så det var nevnt noen argumenter for guds eksistens ovenfor, tenkte jeg skulle hjelpe litt:

 

 

1. TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT

 

(1) God exists.

(2) If God exists, then if reason exists then God exists.

(3) Reason exists.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

2. COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT

 

(1) If I say something must have a cause, it has a cause.

(2) I say the universe must have a cause.

(3) Therefore, the universe has a cause.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

3. ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (I)

 

(1) I define God to be X.

(2) Since I can conceive of X, X must exist.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

4. ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (II)

 

(1) God exists.

(2) Since God exists, God must be perfect.

(3) That which is perfect must exist.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

5. MODAL ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT

 

(1) God exists.

(2) God, existing, is either necessary or unnecessary.

(3) God is not unnecessary, therefore God must be necessary.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

6. TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT

 

(1) Check out that tree. Isn't it pretty?

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

7. ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES

 

(1) My aunt Helen was most likely to die from cancer.

(2) She didn't.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

8. MORAL ARGUMENT (I)

 

(1) Person X, a well-known atheist, was morally inferior to the rest

of us.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

9. MORAL ARGUMENT (II)

 

(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling,

child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.

(2) That all changed once I became religious.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

10. ARGUMENT FROM CREATION

 

(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God

exists.

(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to

understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be

uncomfortable

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

11. ARGUMENT FROM FEAR

 

(1) If there is no God then we're all going to die.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

12. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE

 

(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]

(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

13. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE

(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole

thing to you stupid atheists -- it's too complicated for you to

understand. God exists whether you like it or not.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

14. ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE

 

(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys -- you're

obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say

can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and

you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God

so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world,

that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth" John

3:16.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

15. ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF

 

(1) If God exists, then I should believe in Him.

(2) I believe in God.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

16. ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION

 

(1) See this bonfire?

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

17. PARENTAL ARGUMENT

 

(1) My mommy and daddy told me that God exists.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

18. ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS

 

(1) Millions and millions of people believe in God.

(2) They can't all be wrong, can they?

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

19. ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY

 

(1) Maranathra!

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

20. ARGUMENT FROM ECONOMY

 

(1) God exists, you bastards!

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

21. BOATWRIGHT'S ARGUMENT

 

(1) Ha ha ha.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

22. DORE'S ARGUMENT

 

(1) I forgot to take my meds.

(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

23. ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY

 

(1) Eric Clapton is God.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

24. ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY

 

(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.

(2) Here is the URL.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

25. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY

 

(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!

(2) No one has ever refuted (1).

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

26. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM

 

(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

27. MITCHELL'S ARGUMENT

 

(1) The Christian God exists.

(2) Therefore, all worldviews which don't assume the Christian God's existence

are false and incomprehensible.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

28. ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (I)

 

(1) Atheists are spiritually blind.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

29. ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)

 

(1) God is love.

(2) Love is blind.

(3) Ray Charles is blind.

(4) Therefore, Ray Charles is God.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

30. ARGUMENT FROM FALLIBILITY

 

(1) Human reasoning is inherently flawed.

(2) Therefore, there is no reasonable way to challenge a proposition.

(3) I propose that God exists.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

31. ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS

 

(1) God exists.

(2) I don't give a crap whether you believe it or not; I have better things to

do than to try to convince you morons.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

32. ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS

 

(1) Fuck you.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

33. ARGUMENT FROM MANIFESTATIONS

 

(1) If you turn your head sideways and squint a little, you can see an image of

a bearded face in that tortilla.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

34. SLATHER'S ARGUMENT

 

(1) My toaster is God.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

35. ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPLETE DEVASTATION

 

(1) A plane crashed killing 143 passengers and crew.

(2) But one child survived with only third-degree burns.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

36. ARGUMENT FROM POSSIBLE WORLDS

 

(1) If things had been different, then things would be different.

(2) That would be bad.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

37. ARGUMENT FROM SHEER WILL

 

(1) I DO believe in God! I DO believe in God! I do I do I do I DO believe in

God!

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

38. ARGUMENT FROM NONBELIEF

 

(1) The majority of the world's population are nonbelievers in Christianity.

(2) This is just what Satan intended.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

39. ARGUMENT FROM POST-DEATH EXPERIENCE

 

(1) Person X died an atheist.

(2) He now realizes his mistake.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

40. ARGUMENT FROM EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL

 

(1) God loves you.

(2) How could you be so heartless to not believe in him?

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

41. ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENT BABBLE

 

(1) See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently?

(2) That's how infinite wisdom reveals itself.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

42. OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (I)

 

(1) The human spirit exists.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

43. OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (II)

 

(1) Check out this video segment.

(2) Now how can anyone watch that and NOT believe in God?

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

44. CALVINISTIC ARGUMENT

 

(1) If God exists, then he will let me watch you be tortured forever.

(2) I rather like that idea.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

45. ARGUMENT FROM CROCKERY (I)

 

(1) Pots don't go around giving orders to the potter.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

46. ARGUMENT FROM MASS PRODUCTION

 

(1) Barbie dolls were created.

(2) If Barbie dolls were created, then so were trees.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

47. ARGUMENT FROM PAROCHIALISM

 

(1) God is everywhere.

(2) We haven't been everywhere to prove he's not there.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

48. ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION

 

(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

49. ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS

 

(1) Ask atheists what caused the Big Bang.

(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.

(3) Continue process until the atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one

of your questions.

(4) You win!

(5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

50. ARGUMENT FROM INCREDULITY

 

(1) How could God NOT exist, you bozo?

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

51. ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY

 

(1) The Bible is true.

(2) Therefore, the Bible is historical fact.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

52. ARGUMENT FROM RESURRECTION

 

(1) Proof of God's existence will be available when you rise bodily from your

grave.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

53. ARGUMENT FROM BIOGENESIS

 

(1) Where did Adam come from, dummy?

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

54. ARGUMENT FROM STEADFAST FAITH

 

(1) A lot of really cool people believed in God their entire lives.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

55. ARGUMENT FROM LONELINESS

 

(1) Christians say that Jesus is their best friend.

(2) I'm lonely, and I want a best friend.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

56. ARGUMENT FROM ARGUMENTATION

 

(1) God exists.

(2) [atheist's counterargument]

(3) Yes he does.

(4) [atheist's counterargument]

(5) Yes he does!

(6) [atheist's counterargument]

(7) YES HE DOES!!!

(8) [atheist gives up and goes home]

(9) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

57. ARGUMENT FROM CREATIVE INTERPRETATION

 

(1) God is:

(a) The feeling you have when you look at a newborn baby.

(b) The love of a mother for her child.

© That little still voice in your heart.

(d) Humankind's potential to overcome their difficulties.

(e) How I feel when I look at a sunset.

(f) The taste of ice cream on a hot day.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

58. ARGUMENT FROM INSECURITY

 

(1) We have gone to absolutely berserk lengths to establish that atheists are

laughable morons.

(1.5) Actually, we did so in the hopes of curing our own insecurities about

theism -- but there's no chance in hell we'll ever admit that.

(2) Therefore, atheists are laughable morons.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

59. ARGUMENT FROM SUPERIORITY

 

(1) If God does not exist, then I am an inferior being, since I am not

"special" in a cosmic sense.

(2) But I am superior. Because I am a Christian.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

60. ARGUMENT FROM PERFECTION

 

(1) If there are absolute moral standards, then God exists.

(2) Atheists say that there are no absolute moral standards.

(3) But that's because they don't want to admit to being sinners.

(4) Therefore, there are absolute moral standards.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

61. ARGUMENT FROM HUMAN NECESSITY

 

(1) Atheists say that they don't need God.

(2) Which just goes to show that they need God.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

62. ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (I)

 

(1) Intellectually, I know that the existence of God is impossible, or vastly

improbable.

(2) But I must put on the appearance of being cool and intellectual in front of

my Christian apologist peers.

(3) Therefore, I must pretend that (1) is false.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

63. ARGUMENT FROM INDULGENCE

 

(1) Atheists like to think that they can control their emotional desires.

(2) But they're atheists, so they can't.

(3) Therefore, atheists feel the need to indulge in whatever they feel like

without worrying about committing sin.

(4) This just goes to show how they need God in their lives.

(5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

64. ARGUMENT FROM HATE

 

(1) Some atheists hate Christians and Christianity.

(2) That's why they don't believe in God.

(3) Pathetic, aren't they?

(4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

65. ARGUMENT FROM QUENTIN SMITH

 

(1) Quentin Smith says that God does not exist.

(2) But God does exist.

(3) Therefore, Quentin Smith cannot be accepted as an expert on the matter,

because he is wrong.

(4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

66. ARGUMENT FROM EVIL SPIRITS

 

(1) I've just had contact with evil spirits.

(2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

67. ARGUMENT FROM HIDDEN LOGIC (II)

 

(1) Atheists say that God doesn't exist.

(2) But they only say that because they want to look cool and intellectual in

front of their peers.

(3) They don't fool me!

(4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

68. ARGUMENT FROM HOVIND'S CHALLENGE

 

(1) Kent Hovind offers \$250,000 (which may or may not exist) to anyone who can

demonstrate evolution (defined as a natural, acausal origin of the universe) to

a reasonable doubt (meaning with 100% certainty, allowing for no other

possibilities whatsoever) in front of a neutral committee (handpicked by Hovind

himself) and according to certain criteria (carefully worded so as to rule out

any possibility whatsoever of the challenge ever being met).

(2) No atheist has ever met this challenge.

(3)Therefore, God exists.

 

 

69. ARGUMENT FROM INSANITY

 

(1) No sane person could have thought up Christianity

(2) Therefore, it must be true

(3) Therefore, God exists

 

 

70. ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)

 

1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?

2) Atheist: of course.

3) How about the slightly modified proposition X'?

4) Atheist: Um, no, not really.

5) Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?

6) Atheist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!

7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is

true as well?

8) Atheist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway?

9) I'm glad we all agree.....

....

37) So now we have used propositions X, X', Y, Y', Z, Z', P, P', Q and Q' to

arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed?

38) Atheist: Like I said, so far I've only agreed with X. Where is this going?

....

81) So we now conclude from this that propositions L'', L''' and J'' are true.

Agreed?

82) I HAVEN'T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS GOING!?

....

177) ...and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ'' and BTU' are all obviously

valid. Agreed?

178) [Atheist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust]

179) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

71. MR. GOODSALT'S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM GENERAL INQUIRY)

 

1) Question for atheist population: [apparently random question]

2) Your answer is wrong.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

72. PEACOCK'S ARGUMENT FROM ORIGINALITY

 

1) I have written the following to demonstrate the existence of God.

2) [insert entire text of a William Lane Craig article]

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

73. PEACOCK'S ARGUMENT FROM LIMITED VOCABULARY

 

1) You use lots of big words.

2) Therefore, I cannot possibly be expected to understand your refutation of my

position.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

74. PEACOCK'S ARGUMENT FROM SELECTIVE MEMORY

 

1) [Christian asks "stumper" question]

2) [Atheist answers question]

3) [A lapse of time]

4) [Christian repeats question]

5) [Atheist repeats answer]

6) [A lapse of time]

7) [Christian repeats question]

8) [Atheist repeats answer]

9) [A lapse of time]

10) Atheist, you never answered my question.

11) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

75. ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE ECONOMICS

 

1) Protestant Christian nations are rich.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

76. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL SANITY

 

1) I've had religious experiences that can't be explained unless I'm insane or

God exists.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

77. ARGUMENT FROM INSTITUTIONAL LONGETIVITY

 

1) The Roman Catholic Church has been around for a long time.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

78. ARGUMENT FROM INEVITABILITY

 

1) I have proof that God exists.

2) I won't bother to tell you what it is because, being atheists, you would be

hostile to the conclusion anyway.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

79. ARGUMENT FROM "THE MATRIX"

 

1) We cannot prove that we don't live in a Matrix-like world.

2) Therefore we cannot know reality.

3) If reality is contingent, then everything is possible.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

80. ARGUMENT FROM SUBJECTIVITY

 

1) Everything is subjective.

2) No subjective proof can be superior to any other subjective proof.

3) Based upon my subjective opinion, your opinion, that if everything is

subjective then, perforce, God is subjective, is false.

4) Therefore, God (objectively) exists.

 

81. ARGUMENT FROM POSTMODERNISM

 

1) I'm going to prove to you that God exists.

2) [insert any of the other arguments on this page in here]

3) [atheist refutes argument]

4) I cannot prove there is a God anymore than anyone of us can prove we really

exist in a tangible world.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

82. ARGUMENT FROM SQUARE CIRCLES

 

1) There is no such thing as a square circle.

2) God is not a square circle.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

83. ARGUMENT FROM DICTATORSHIP

 

1) Dictators do not believe in God.

2) Dictators are wrong.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

84. ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE RIGHT

 

1) God save the Queen.

2) The Queen has not died.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

85. BENDER'S ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS

 

1) I have these two functions that have (up to 7 decimal places) a common root.

2) Some of the numbers involved in the functions are the same numbers used for

various things in the Bible.

3) Since there is such a small probability of finding two functions that are

"found in nature" (whatever that means) and that are also "Biblically

significant" (whatever that means, as well), it is obvious that finding these

functions wasn't a coincidence.

4) Therefore God gave me these functions.

5) Therefore God exists.

 

 

86. BENDER'S ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS (ABRIDGED)

1) 36.5

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

87. META-ARGUMENT

 

1) This is a proof of God's existence.

2) If the reader finishes reading this proof, the existence of God will be

proven to him/her.

3) If the existence of God is proven, then God exists.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

88. ARGUMENT FROM ANECDOTE

 

1) God can be seen by those who believe.

2) If God is seen, then God must exist.

3) I believe in God.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

89. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL HISTORY

 

1) Many modern historians think that there probably was somebody named Jesus,

maybe.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

90. BENDERS ARGUMENT FROM TAP-DANCING DEMONS

 

1) One day, demons were tap-dancing on my roof. I prayed and they went away.

2) Therefore, demons are really good dancers.

3) Also, God exists.

 

 

91. RANDMANS ARGUMENT

 

1) This entry from the 1975 World Book Encyclopedia on evolution contains some

errors, that I claim to have already substantiated.

2) Mr. Ph.D.-in-Evolutionary-Biology, this proves that evolution is an unsound

scientific concept.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

92. ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY

 

1) I have a large number of arguments for God.

2) One of them is probably true.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

93. ARGUMENT FROM FORTUITOUS COINCIDENCE

 

1) What are the odds of that happening?

2) Pretty long, Ill bet.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

94. BENDERS ARGUMENT FROM DAVID BLAINE

 

1) If David Blaine does real magic, then God exists.

2) It looked real on his TV special.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

95.ARGUMENT FROM MYSTERIOUS USE OF PREPOSITIONS

 

1) It is impossible to disprove God with your puny human intellect unless you

are above God.

2) Are you higher than God?

3) Ill take that puzzled look on your face as a no.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

96.ARGUMENT FROM TEEN/TWENTYISH CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT

 

1) God is so totally awesome, dude, and if you would pretend that Creed and POD

were good bands, you would realize that.

2) Also, our Youth Group leader Skip once, like, cured a broken leg using only

the power of the almighty Lord.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

97. ARGUMENT FROM SPEAKING IN TOUNGES

 

1) My friend here, once started spontaneously speaking some jibberish that

sounded to me kind of like Russian.

2) But neither he nor I know anything about Russian.

3) The only explanation is God.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

98. ARGUMENT FROM EUROPEAN HISTORY

 

1) Many prominent thinkers in pre-modern Europe believed in God.

2) Lets just forget about the nineteenth and twentieth centuries.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

99. ARGUMENT FROM DESIGN

 

1) If there is a designer, then God must exist.

2) If I find a watch in a forest, there must be a designer

3) *throws watch into forest*

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

100. ARGUMENT FROM FUTURITY

 

1) I will prove the existence of God in the following argument.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

101. ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY

 

1) I proved the existence of God in the preceding argument.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

102. ARGUMENT FROM LOURDES (TERCEL'S ARGUMENT)

 

1) Some sick people who went to France say they felt somewhat better.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

103. ARGUMENT FROM BAD PUNCTUATION 1) God is real, and of course He has not

shown His face and will not until all is fullfilled no one in this universe can

tell you when He will come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (This was a real

letter sent to Positive Atheism.)

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

104. ARGUMENT FROM OFFENSE

 

1) God exists.

2) [atheist gives counterarguments]

3) You know what? I am offended.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

105. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER

 

1) God exists.

2) [atheist gives counterarguments]

3) You're in my prayers.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

106. ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM

 

1) I don't know.

2) Neither do you.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

107. ARGUMENT FROM IDENTITY

 

1) Belief in God is a central part of my identity.

2) You don't mean to deny my identity, now do you?

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

108. ARGUMENT FROM FORMATTING

 

1) Behold, foolish atheist, I present you with an incontrovertible proof of the

existence of God.

2) [Christian posts 10,000 word document without a single paragraph break]

3) [atheist's eyes implode]

4) I see that you have not refuted (2).

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

109. ARGUMENT FROM NON-CONFRONTATION

 

1) I'm not here to argue with you, atheist.

2) But come on, God obviously exists.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

110. ARGUMENT FROM EXODUS

 

1) If the Exodus story has any basis in historical fact, then God must exist.

2) Some guy found some chariot wheels at the bottom of the Red Sea.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

111. ARGUMENT FROM MARTYRDOM

 

1) The apostles would not have died for something they knew wasn't true.

2) The atheist gives examples of martyrs outside Christendom, but they were

obviously fooled by Satan.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

112. ARGUMENT FROM TINKERBELL

 

1) I really, really want God to exist.

2) If you wish for something really hard, it'll come true.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

113. ARGUMENT FROM PREFERRED ANCESTRY

 

1) I don't want to be related to monkeys.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

114. ARGUMENT FROM THE FOOLISHNESS OF ATHEISM

 

1) Psalm 14:1.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

115. ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION (I)

 

1) Someone made fun of my faith.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

116. ARGUMENT FROM REALLY COOL STUFF THAT JESUS SAID

 

1) Jesus said some really cool stuff.

2) No one else ever said that stuff.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

117. ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN MORALITY

1) History is full of professed Christians who did something nice.

2) We'll just ignore the not-nice things that Christians may or may not have

done in the past, you can't trust history anyway.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

118. ARGUMENT FROM POTENTIAL INSANITY

 

1) I would go crazy if I didn't believe in God.

2) I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

119. THE DUTCHMAN'S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM MUSICAL CONSPIRACY THEORY)

 

1) The atheist likes music.

2) Therefore, the atheist is schizophrenic.

3) Who cares if the logic is flimsier than a house of cards? Character

assassination is the only way I can win this debate.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

120. ARGUMENT FROM PERSECUTION (II) / ARGUMENT FROM IDIOCY (I)

 

1) Jesus said that people would make fun of Christians.

2) I am an idiot.

3) People often point that out.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

121. ARGUMENT FROM INTEREST

 

1) If God really didn't exist, then atheists wouldn't spend so much time

talking about him.

2) [atheist refutes (1)]

3) See?

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

122. ARGUMENT FROM CATCHPHRASE

 

1) There are no atheists in foxholes.

2) [atheist points to some atheists in foxholes]

3) They don't count.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

123. ARGUMENT FROM HOSPITALS

 

1) Atheists don't build hospitals.

2) [atheist points to Bill Gates and Ted Turner, who donate millions to charity]

3) Yes, but do they build hospitals?

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

124. ARGUMENT FROM SERIOUS ASSERTION

 

1) God exists.

2) No, seriously.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

125. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EVIDENCE (SIMPSON'S ARGUMENT)

 

1) God, if you exist, please give me absolutely no sign.

2)

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

126. ARGUMENT FROM IDIOCY (II)

 

1) Even an idiot can see that God exists.

2) I am an idiot.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

127. ARGUMENT FROM 9-11 (I)

 

1) Terrorists destroyed the World Trade Center, killing thousands.

2) One piece of the rubble sort of looks like a cross.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

128. PEACOCK'S ARGUMENT FROM NON-COMPETITION

 

1) I dare atheists to refute this argument!

2) [atheist refutes argument]

3) Why do you have to turn everything into a comptetition?

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

129. ARGUMENT FROM CROCKERY (II)

 

1) I am in a bad mood and considering throwing this plate at you.

2) I want you to believe in God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

130. ARGUMENT FROM THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

 

1) The Pledge was changed in the fifties to state that this is "one nation,

under God."

2) Therefore, the existence of God is a necessary condition for the existence

of America.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

131. LAURA INGRAHAM'S ARGUMENT

 

1) Nobody really listens to atheists anyway, do they?

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

132. ARGUMENT FROM RAPIST WITH NUCLEAR STRAP-ON (ED'S ARGUMENT)

 

1) Being indirectly responsible for something is very different from directly

responsible for something, especially if it is allowed in order for a greater

good to occur. A better analogy would be a rapist with an activated nuclear

weapon strapped to him in a large city. He starts raping a woman but if you try

to stop him millions could die, so you have to allow him to do it until a better

way of getting rid of him can be discovered.

2) Thus, the existence of evil does not preclude the existence of God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

133. ARGUMENT FROM THE FOUNDING FATHERS

 

1) The Founding Fathers were Christians.

2) Yes they were.

3) Yes they were.

4) YES THEY WERE!!!

5) Well anyway, the Founding Fathers were really smart, so they MUST have been

Christians!

6) (And anyway, Deists are really Christians, they just haven't figured it out

yet.)

7) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

134. ARGUMENT FROM LOTS AND LOTS OF BOOKS

 

1) The Bible has lots and lots of books written by lots of people over lots of

time.

2) Through countless centuries of apologetics, we've been able to hammer out a

more or less coherent plot for all these books (the ones we liked, anyway).

3) It is impossible for so many authors over so much time to write so many

books from which we could form a coherent plot.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

135. ARGUMENT FROM RESURRECTION ACCOUNTS

 

1) The Bible claims that Jesus rose from the dead.

2) No other religious text claims that someone rose from the dead.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

136. ARGUMENT FROM ADMINISTRATIVE CONTROL (BAPTISTBOARD'S ARGUMENT)

 

1) [insert Christian argument]

2) [atheist refutes argument]

3) Atheists are hereby banned.

4) [repeat (1)]

5) [no refutations]

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

137. ARGUMENT FROM BRUTE FORCE AGAINST AUTOMOTIVE DECORATIONS

 

1) [Christian tears off Darwin fish, breaks it into thirds, and sticks it onto

driver's side window (true story)]

2) Therefore, evolution is false.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

138. ARGUMENT FROM EQUAL VALUE

 

1) The view that God exists is a worldview, just like the scientific and

evolution worldviews.

2) You're not discriminating against our worldview, are you?

3) Therefore, the God worldview has the same value was the evolution and

scientific worldviews.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

139. ARGUMENT FROM ASSUMPTION

 

1) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

140. EXISTENTIALIST ARGUMENT

 

1) I have a boil on my bottom.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

141. ARGUMENT FROM EVIDENTIAL ASSERTION (HENRY MORRIS'S ARGUMENT)

 

1) God exists.

2) Therefore, all the physical evidence must show this.

3) Therefore, it does.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

142. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF MEANNESS

 

1) If God didn't exist, it would be mean of him to make me think he did.

2) God isn't mean.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

143. ARGUMENT FROM WE ALL GOT FAITH

 

1) We all believe in something -- thus, we all have faith in something.

2) My faith in God is no different than your faith that the Sun will come up

tomorrow morning.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

144. ARGUMENT FROM BIGOTRY (FRED PHELPS'S ARGUMENT)

 

1) The Bible says that anal sex is yucky.

2) I agree.

3) Plus, some gay people died of AIDS.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

145. ARGUMENT FROM BEAVERS

 

1) Some beavers built sort of a cross shaped thing and sort of stood around it.

(apparently true story)

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

146. ARGUMENT FROM COOLNESS.

 

1) That's really cool.

2) God must have done that.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

147. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLE IN THE WTC

 

1) An intact Bible was found in the WTC ruins.

2) Oh, wait . . . turns out it was a dictionary.

3) Oh well, Therefore, God exists anyway.

 

 

148. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL EQUATIONS (GENERIC VERSION)

 

1) If there exists a numerical value, NV, such that for a key religious figure,

KRF, in a holy book, HB, there two measurments of time, T1 and T2, mentioned in

HB, but not necessarily associated with KRF in HB, such that T1 and T2 can be

inserted into a calculator function (such as addition or subtraction), CF1, of

two variables, such that CF1(T1,T2) yields T3, and HB alleges that three

significant events, E1, E2, and E3 (in chronological order) associated with

KRF, occured, and the descriptions in HB of E1, E2, and E3 are such that it

cannot be proven based these descriptions alone that T3 is an impossible

measurement of the span of time from the microsecond, ME1, of the alleged event

E1 and the microsecond, ME3, of alleged event E3, and the numeric value NV can

be computed by choosing two units of time (such as seconds, hours, minutes,

days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries), U1 and U2, so that solving the

equation for NV: NV*(1 U1) + NV(1 U2) = T3 yields a numeric value for NV for

which it cannot be proven based on the writings of HB that NV*(1 U1), is an

impossible measure of the exact number of microseconds between ME1 and the

microsecond ME2 at which alleged event E2 occured, nor proven based on the

writings of HB that NV*(1 U2) is an impossible measure time, to the nearest

microsecond, between ME2 and ME3, and there exists a function, F, such that

F(NV) is a combination of a calculator function of one variable, CF2 (such as

log10, sin, cos, sqrt, ln, etc.), and a calculator function of two variables,

CF3 (such as multiply, add, subtract, or divide), whereby F(NV) =

CF3(CF2(NV),NV*(1 U1)), and computing F(X) gives the value Y, which has units

(1/U1), and there exists units U3, such that Y*(1 u3) gives Y in units of

(U3/U1), and the conversion of Y(U3/U1) to compatible units, U4/U1, by

multiplying Y(U3/U1)*N, where N is the value (1 U4)/(1 U3), gives Y*N(U4/U1),

and there exists a physical constant, C1, which can be expressed in units

U5/U4, such that C1(U5/U4)*Y*N(U4/U1) gives C1*Y*N(u5/u1), and in the culture

in which HB was written, there was an approximation, A, for the aforementioned

physical constant, C1, expressed in units U5/U1, such that the number of

significat digits, SD, for which the decimal representation of A matches the

decimal representation of C1*N*Y is greater than or equal to 9, then God exists.

2) NV exists.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

149. ARGUMENT FROM BASTARDIZED DESCARTES.

 

1) I think.

2) Therefore, God am.

 

 

150. ARGUMENT FROM SEVEN YEAR OLD

 

1) This seven year old believes in God.

2) You don't want to break a seven year old's heart, now do you?

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

151. ARGUMENT FROM COMMON PHRASES

 

1) Oh my God!

2) Goddammit!

3) God bless you.

4) He has more money than God!

5) In God we trust.

6) I'm God's gift to women.

7) God only knows.

8) God forbid . . .

9) One nation, under God.

10) Oh God! Oh yes!!! OH GOD!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

11) Use your God-given talents!

12) God will provide.

13) There but for the grace of God go I.

14) Dear God . . .

15) Oh, for the love of God . . .

16) God help us!

17) God almighty!

18) God bless America

19) Not even God could tell the difference.

20) I swear to God.

21) As God is my witness . . .

22) Thank you, God!

23) My God!

24) Good God!

25) God's green Earth.

26) In God's country

27) What if God were one of us?

[more to come, we're sure...]

N+1) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

152. ARGUMENT FROM IT IS WRITTEN

 

1) Morals have to come from somewhere.

2) The Bible has lots of "Thou shalt nots" in it.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

153. ARGUMENT FROM COLLEGE FUNDING

 

1) You believe that God exists.

2) If I ever discover otherwise, you will get no money for college.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

154. ARGUMENT FROM PORK

 

1) In the Bible, God commands the Hebrews not to eat any pork.

2) Since then we've learned that if you eat undercooked pork, you might get

trichinosis.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

155. ARGUMENT FROM MOUNT ARARAT

 

1) The Bible says that Noah's Ark landed on Mt. Ararat.

2) There's a Mt. Ararat in Turkey.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

156. ARGUMENT FROM CHILD CUSTODY

 

1) We have legal custody of your son.

2) If you don't act as though the Christian God exists, you will never, ever

see him again.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

157. ARGUMENT FROM FIDEISM (MARTIN GARDNER'S ARGUMENT)

 

1) The atheists are absolutely right. There's no logical reason whatsoever to

believe that God exists.

2) But he makes me feel good anyway.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

158. ARGUMENT FROM DIAGRAM (GEORGANN'S ARGUMENT)

 

1) I have drawn a diagram that represents the geometric progression proof of

God.

2) It has a pyramid in it and the air shafts of the pyramid in the diagram

point to Jesus. It's an astonishingly clean and inspired representation of a

amazing amount of text which although first written down about 3500 years ago,

manages to reflect, as only God's word could of the entire history of all

creation and mankind up to the point of its being written down.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

159. ARGUMENT FROM STUPIDITY

 

1) God is too stupid to do anything about the horrendous evil and suffering in

the world.

2) God made man in his image.

3) I am stupid.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

160. ARGUMENT FROM STAR TREK

 

1) Resistance is futile.

2) You will be assimilated.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

161. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER (I)

 

1) When I pray and it comes true, God made it come true.

2) When I pray and it doesn't come true, God has a better plan.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

162. ARGUMENT FROM POPEYE

 

1) God said, "I yam that I yam."

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

163. ARGUMENT FROM BEER (I)

 

1) Why ask why?

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

164. ARGUMENT FROM PAIN AVOIDANCE

 

1) If I don't believe that God exists, I'll go to hell.

2) Please don't hurt me.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

165. ARGUMENT FROM NASCAR

 

1) If God exists, then he needs a race car driver.

2) Dale Earnhardt died in a car accident.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

166. ARGUMENT FROM CUTENESS

 

1) Cuteness is not an evolutionary advantage.

2) But bunnies are cute.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

167. ARGUMENT FROM ACTUAL INFINITES (WILLIAM LANE CRAIG'S ARGUMENT)

 

1) An actual infinite cannot exist.

2) God is an actual infinite.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

168. HANK HANEGRAAF'S ARGUMENT

 

1) It is completely against God's absolute nature to allow you to exist.

2) You exist.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

169. THE ULTIMATE MODAL ARGUMENT

 

1) It is possible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it ispossible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it ispossible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it ispossible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it ispossible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it ispossible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it ispossible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible that it is possible

that it is possible that it is possible that it is necessary that God exists.

2) Certainly a premise like that with so many possibilities cannot be false.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

170. ARGUMENT FROM FINE-TUNING

 

1) If God exists, he could via miracles make any world where physical constants

disallow life naturally, but this is not the case if God does not exist.

2) Amazingly, God chose to make a world which naturally allows life.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

171. ARGUMENT FROM CONTINGENCY

 

1) Contingent beings, like humans or the universe, need to be caused.

2) Anything with a necessary cause is also necessary.

3) So God created the universe and humans.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

172. ARGUMENT FROM SIMPLICITY

 

1) Simple explanations are generally better than more complex explanations.

2) The universe can be explained as the creation of God, a being who is

omniscient (where omniscience is defined as having all knowledge of true

propositions knowable by an Anselmian supreme being in all possible worlds

which do not imply weird McEar paradoxes), omnipotent (where omnipotent is

defined as having the ability to do any and all logically possible actions

coherent with the idea of a supreme being and those by unsupreme beings),

morally perfect (where morally perfect is defined as being of a perfectly good

will and only does good actions, and only allows good actions or those actions

which lead to even better results), immaterial (where immaterial is defined as

not being composed of matter or described by physical laws of any logically

possible world, including those comprising nothing physical), and a person

(where person is defined as having intellect, intent, will, and worthy of moral

respect and able to make moral decisions), and this is a fully simple

explanation, given the simple and immediately understandable (by anyone)

definition of God (where simple is defined as having a nature identical with

his existence, and all properties of X being identical to any other properties

of X, and these properties not identical to any other beings other than X).

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

173. ARGUMENT FROM GLOBAL SKEPTICISM

 

1) We know some things, and so global skepticism is wrong.

2) Certainly a being way more powerful, knowledgable, and moral than us would

not have any reasons to deceive us lowly beings and not tell us he is doing so.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

174. ARGUMENT FROM COLORS

 

1) Colors exist, and are in part caused by the physical properties of objects.

2) Let's not think about how this could have come about without God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

175. PRESUPPOSITIONALIST ARGUMENT (PLANTINGA, BAHNSEN, WILSON, ET AL)

 

1) Presuppositionalist: Materialism cannot account for knowledge.

2) Atheist: You'll have to support that statement.

3) P: It is supported by noting that if matter is all there was, there would

not be knowledge.

4) A: That's the same claim.

5) P: Okay, it's backed up by noting that if there were no objects made of

matter, we could not know anything.

6) A: Again, same claim, different words.

7) P: I'll back it up thusly: In a naturalistic universe, justified true

beliefs could not occur.

8) A: I'm afraid you're not getting any further back.

9) P: Here's the proof: when matter is all there is, knowledge is precluded by

the lack of non-material entities.

10) A: Okay, you've found five different ways to express the same claim. Now

please justify it.

11) P: Gladly. Under materialism, knowledge is unaccounted for.

12) A: Look, this isn't a contest to see how many different ways you can say

the same thing. Comprende?

13) P: Fine. The justification is this: knowledge is impossible if we assume

materialism.

14) A: You're an idiot. Do you know that?

15) P: Enough with your insults. Here is the ultimate justification for my

claim: materialism in inadequate to account for human knowledge.

16) [atheist leaves]

17) P: I win.

18) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

176. ARGUMENT FROM THIS MORNING

 

1) I woke up this morning.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

177. ARGUMENT FROM POLITICS

 

1) The majority of Americans believe in God.

2) If I pretend to believe in God too, I'll get elected.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

178. ARGUMENT FROM BOWELS

 

1) I forgot to say grace last night.

2) This morning, I was punished with a painful bowel movement.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

179. ARGUMENT FROM COINCIDENCE

 

1) We were driving home with our youth pastor when it started to rain really

hard.

2) So we pulled over to the side of the road, joined hands and asked God to

deliver us home safely.

3) We got home safely.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

180. ARGUMENT FROM COMPUTERS (I) (ROBERT T. LEE'S ARGUMENT)

 

1) I tried to delete a copy of the Ten Commandments from my hard drive.

2) But I got an error message saying that the file could not be deleted.

3) Therefore, my computer has more sense than the atheist who built it.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

181. ARGUMENT FROM COMPUTERS (II)

 

1) An atheist tried to delete a copy of the Ten Commandments from his hard

drive.

2) He succeeded.

3) Let us pray that his computer comes to a true and lasting repentance for

this most grievous of sins.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

182. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL INTERPRETATION

 

1) Every interpretation of a Bible verse that any atheist ever makes for any

reason whatsoever is either based on a mistranslation, or is taken out of

context.

2) Therefore, there are no errors or contradictions in the Bible.

3) Yes, pi is equal to 3.

4) Yes it is.

5) YES IT IS!!!

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

183. ARGUMENT FROM INVISIBILITY

 

1) God is invisible.

2) I can't see God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

184. ARGUMENT FROM MONEY

 

1) All U.S. currency displays the motto "In God We Trust."

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

185. ARGUMENT FROM MATHEMATICS

 

1) a^2-b^2=(a+b)*(a-b)

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

186. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER (II)

 

1) I wanted a sunny day, so I prayed God to not make it rain.

2) We had three thunderstorms.

3) Clearly God was punishing me for my selfish desires.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

187. METACROCK'S ARGUMENT FROM FORMAL EDUCATION

 

1) I have a philosophy degree.

2) Therefore your knowledge of philosophy is pitiful compared to mine.

3) Therefore, you cannot comprehend my intense philosophical proofs of God's

existence (such as the one below).

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

188. METACROCK'S ARGUMENT FROM ARBITRARY NECESSITY

 

1) I have invented the term "arbitrary necessity."

2) It is a golden principle which applies to whatever I say it does.

3) I say an eternal universe is an arbitrary necessity.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

189. PEACOCK'S ARGUMENT FROM SELECTIVE READING

 

1) Here are the reasons why the first sentence of this atheist's essay is wrong.

2) [atheist points out that those reasons are refuted in the atheist's essay,

from the second sentence onward.]

3) I only read the first sentence of the essay, so I am not aware of any

refutations of my reasons.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

190. ARGUMENT FROM BEER (II)

 

1) "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." --Ben Franklin

2) Beer exists.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

191. ARGUMENT FROM BEER (III)

 

1) Christian: Whatever you believe in, that is your God.

2) Atheist: I believe I'll have another beer.

3) Ha ha ha!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

192. ARGUMENT FROM MONKEYS

 

1) If men came from monkeys, there shouldn't be monkeys around anymore.

2) But there are still monkeys around.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

193. ARGUMENT FROM C.S. LEWIS

 

1) C.S. Lewis had a lot of good arguments for Christianity -- at least that's

what my Christian friends tell me.

2) C.S. Lewis also wrote a lot of popular books.

3) So C.S. Lewis must have been right!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

194. ARGUMENT FROM DEAD FIREFIGHTERS

 

1) All those dead firefighters were blessed by a Catholic priest before they

gave their lives.

2) They were too mostly Catholic!

3) I just know!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

195. ARGUMENT FROM JERRY FALWELL

 

1) Jerry Falwell said some really stupid things after 9-11.

2) He was then inspired by God to apologize, publically.

3) No, the public outcry had nothing to do with it!

4) God told me, that's how I know.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

196. ARGUMENT FROM ELECTORAL DEMOGRAPHICS

 

1) Most Americans believe in God.

2) Many of them vote.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

197. BENDER'S ARGUMENT FROM CONFETTI

 

1) One night I considered taking the gospel to some war orphans.

2) The next morning I found a scrap of newspaper outside, and on it were the

words "Go for it."

3) Random coincidence? I think not!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

198. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTISTS

 

1) Some famous scientists believed in God.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

199. ARGUMENT FROM INSTRUMENTATION

 

1) You are an atheist.

2) You did something nice.

3) Therefore, you were an instrument of God.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

200. ARGUMENT FROM QUANTUM PHYSICS

 

1) Quantum physics uses an uncertainty principle.

2) There is room for God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

201. ARGUMENT FROM APOLOGETICS WEBSITES

 

1) I was surfing the net, and found this cool website of arguments for God's

existence.

2) The arguments were stunning. I couldn't refute them.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

202. ARGUMENT FROM EXISTENTIALISTIC LONLINESS

 

1) This can't be all there is to life.

2) I mean, it's all so depressing and nasty and brutal.

3) I'm lonely.

4) There has to be something else out there.

5) I mean, there just has to be.

6) THERE JUST HAS TO BE SOMETHING ELSE OUT THERE!!

7) AARRGGHH!!! THERE JUST HAS TO BE!!!

8) I know! God! God can be out there for me!

9) Yay, I don't feel so lonely anymore!

10) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

203. ARGUMENT FROM SINS I LIKE

 

1) In my opinion, abortion is wrong.

2) I want facts to back up my opinions.

3) In the absence of facts, morals will do.

4) Christians say that abortion is a sin.

5) Yay, I have allies!

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

204. DAVID MATHEWS' ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN SOLIPSISM)

 

1) Nothing is real except Jesus.

2) See (1).

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

205. ARGUMENT FROM RATHER ODD LANGUAGE

 

1) My usage of certain words, such as "exists," is arbitrarily and

idiosyncratically different from their usage in ordinary discourse.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

206. ARGUMENT FROM CATS

 

1) Cats are really mean.

2) I mean, look at them chase around those cute little mice.

3) No animal could act that way on instinct.

4) Therefore, cats are corrupted by the devil!

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

207. KIERKEGAARD'S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM THE THRONE ROOM)

 

1) Would you stand before a mighty king and ask him to prove his existence to

you?

2) No?

3) That's what you're doing with God, you arrogant bastards!

4) I don't CARE if you can't see him!

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

208. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF IMAGINATION

 

1) I can't imagine not believing in God.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

209. ARGUMENT FROM TUNA FISH

 

1) Nothing is better than God.

2) A tuna fish sandwich is better than nothing.

3) Therefore, a tuna fish sandwich is better than God. (And tastier, too.)

4) Therefore, God exists.

4a) But you'd be better off worshipping the tuna fish sandwich.

 

 

210. ARGUMENT FROM WOW

 

1) Wow.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

211. ARGUMENT FROM KINDLY PSYCHOANALYSIS

 

1) You say there's no God?

2) Ah, someone calling themselves Christians must have really hurt you in the

past.

3) I'm sorry.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

212. ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN EXPERTS ARE IGNORED

 

1) Dembski, Behe and Plantinga are ignored by mainstream intellectuals.

2) Only a fear of the truth could explain this.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

213. ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN EXPERTS ARE NOT IGNORED

 

1) Dembski, Behe and Plantinga are listened to by many mainstream intellectuals.

2) Only a recognition of the truth could explain this.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

214. ARGUMENT FROM COUNTERFACTUAL EVIDENCE

 

1) You claim that there is no proof of God's existence.

2) But if there were tons of evidence, you still wouldn't be convinced.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

215. CHUCK GREENBERG'S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE)

 

1) Okay, so maybe all the theistic arguments are less than perfect.

2) But those atheistic arguments aren't that great either.

3) I don't know, there's just something WRONG about them.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

216. ARGUMENT FROM LOVE

 

1) What about love, atheists? You believe in love, right? You don't deny that

love exists, do you? Love!

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

217. ARGUMENT FROM CANADIAN ROCK BAND

 

.erehwyreve nataS morf segassem neddih era erehT (1

.neam I tahw ees ll'uoy dna sdrawkcab drocer hsuR a yalp tsuJ (2

.stsixe doG ,eroferehT (3

 

 

218. ARGUMENT FROM UNSEEN MIRACLES

1) Atheists wouldn't believe in God even if he showed up and performed a

miracle for them.

2) See? That was a miracle right over there! Didn't you see it?

3) No?

4) You must be an atheist. Therefore, you can't see miracles.

5) But miracles really happen -- you just can't see them.

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

219. ARGUMENT FROM ALL YOUR BASE

 

1) Someone set up us the bomb.

2) We get signal.

3) Main screen turn on.

4) How are you, gentlemen.

5) All your base are belong to us.

6) What you say!

7) You have no chance to survive make your time.

8) Ha ha ha ha....

9) Move *zig.*

10) You know what you're doing.

11) For great justice, take off every *zig.*

12) Therefore, God exist.

 

 

220. ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN MAN STANDING OUTSIDE THE TATE MODERN AND SHOUTING

AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS

 

1) Prove you have a mother.

2) I don't believe you.

3) If you can't prove you have a mother, I don't have to prove God exists.

4) And I have a man here dressed as Satan who agrees with me.

5) And I have a loud voice.

6) And a cowboy hat.

7) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

221. ARGUMENT FROM WIND

 

1) You can't see the wind.

2) But you believe in it.

3) It's the same way with God.

4) It is TOO the same thing!

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

222. ARGUMENT FROM WARREN ROBINETT

 

1) There's a secret message in the video game "Adventure."

2) It reveals that the game was Created by Warren Robinett.

3) It's the same way with the world. Look for the secret messages, and you will

find the World's Creator.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

223. GOODY2SHOES' ARGUMENT FROM OFFENSIVENESS

 

1) You keep making statements that offend me. I will only stay if you stop that.

2) [atheist tries to be non-offensive.]

3) You're still offending me.

4) [atheist tries harder not to be offensive.]

5) I'm still offended.

6) [atheist tears her hair out trying to figure out how to be non-offensive.]

7) I think we should stop this conversation. You're too offensive.

8) [atheist says "Fuck it" and posts what she really thinks.]

9) WOW! What a bigot!

10) I have a spiritual victory.

11) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

224. ARGUMENT FROM THE FIVE-KNUCKLE SHUFFLE / ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS (II)

 

1) [atheist gives reasons why God does not exist]

2) You're a jerkoff.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

225. GOODY2SHOES' ARGUMENT FROM PRIVATE ARGUMENT

 

1) You are the most bigoted person I've ever come across.

2) Let's communicate by email.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

226. TERCEL'S ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY

 

1) I have a large number of arguments for God.

2) There is a small chance that each of them is true.

3) Using voodoo probability calculations, this means that there is a much

greater chance that all of them are true taken together!

4) And no, this ISN'T just the mathematical version of the Ontological

Argument. I'm a real mathematician, and you obviously can't understand this

proof because you don't know as much about math as I do.

5) And let's not confuse things by mentioning how many atheistic arguments

there are, and the probability of each of them being correct.

6) Or the fact that I basically pulled the probability for each argument being

correct out of my ass.

7) Just admit that I know more about math than you do.

8) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

227. ARGUMENT FROM TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE

 

1) One time I was in deep emotional pain.

2) I prayed to God, and felt his presence.

3) You aren't going to deny my emotional pain, now are you?

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

228. ARGUMENT FROM SELF-ABUSE

 

1) Once I fasted for three days straight, prayed on my knees for hours, and

didn't sleep, either.

2) At the end of that time, God answered me.

3) No, it was NOT just a hallucination.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

229. ARGUMENT FROM ECSTASY

 

1) I woke up last night with a feeling of indescribable pleasure and joy.

2) It couldn't have been sexual -- I'm holy and never have thoughts like those.

3) So the ecstasy must have come from God.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

230. KENT HOVIND'S PRAGMATIC ARGUMENT

 

1) I don't want to work for a living.

2) I don't want to pay taxes.

3) I can get gullible fundamentalists to send me money.

4) I can use religious exemption claims to tie the IRS up in court.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

231. ARGUMENT FROM LOVE ALL AROUND

 

1) I can just FEEL love all around me. I know the world is a good place, that

people are essentially good, and that that comes from God.

2) I don't know how I know. It's just there. You've never felt it?

3) I don't know how I know. Stop pestering me!

4) [cries until nasty atheist goes away]

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

232. ARGUMENT FROM CLASSICAL MUSIC

 

1) You like classical music.

2) Classical composers wrote for God.

3) [atheist points out that they had to compose for the Church or they would

have been executed]

4) But they wrote for God and you like the music.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

233. ARGUMENT FROM SADISM (I)

 

1) I enjoy beating children.

2) I find some justification for it in the Bible.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

234. ARGUMENT FROM SADISM (II)

 

1) I enjoy treating women like dirt. It makes me feel powerful.

2) I find some justification for it in the Bible.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

235. BENDER'S ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS (UPDATED)

 

1) I have these two functions that have (up to 7 decimal places) a common root.

2) Some of the numbers involved in the functions are the same numbers used for

various things in the Bible.

3) It wasn't a coincidence that I found these functions. God gave me them.

4) What? You want me to actually prove that? That's unfair!!!

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

236. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (II)

 

1) The Bible says the Bible is true.

2) Therefore, the Bible is true.

3) The Bible says God exists.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

237. WILLIAM JAMES' ARGUMENT

 

1) We should give people the benefit of the doubt.

2) A lot of people say God exists.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

238. PASCAL'S ARGUMENT

 

1) If God exists, it would be really cool.

2) If God didn't exist, it would really suck.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

239. ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL PRESERVATION

 

1) The Bible hasn't changed that much since it was written.

2) Therefore, everything in it must be true.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

240. ARGUMENT FROM PROPHECY

 

1) Jesus clearly fulfilled all the prophecies of the Jews.

2) That's why there are no Jews alive today.

3) (If you see a Jew, you should probably kill him to make (2) work.)

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

241. ARGUMENT FROM STEWARDSHIP

 

1) God gave us the earth to take care of it.

2) We do.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

242. ARGUMENT FROM THERMODYNAMICS

 

1) All systems become chaotic.

2) The Universe, too, will become chaotic.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

243. ARGUMENT FROM ATHEISM

 

1) Unicorns don't exist.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

244. ARGUMENT FROM THE MEANING OF LIFE

 

1) What's the meaning of life?

2) [atheist answers]

3) That's not what I believe.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

245. ARGUMENT FROM GOD'S NAME IN VAIN

 

1) People use God's name when cursing.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

246. VELIKOVSKY'S ARGUMENT

 

1) If you twist the details enough, you can make a case for Venus, as a comet,

causing the Biblical catastrophes.

2) Therefore the Bible is true.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

247. ARGUMENT FROM CAN'T-BE-A-RACIST

 

1) Martin Luther King, Jr. believed in God.

2) You don't want to say that Dr. King was a fool, do you?

3) That's what I thought.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

248. ARGUMENT FROM JESUS TORTURE

 

1) No one ever, ever suffered as much as Jesus did on the cross.

2) No, not the victims of the Inquisition.

3) No, not the women burned at the stake or hanged as witches.

4) No, not all the people who died thinking they were going to Hell.

5) Who but God would suffer like that for us ungrateful, unworthy humans?

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

249. ARGUMENT FROM SEVERABILITY

 

1) Lots of ridiculous statements are made by people who only CLAIM to be Real

Christians.

2) They just give Real Christians a bad name.

3) Real Christians don't believe that [insert Biblical reference] is literally

true.

4) But that doesn't mean the Bible isn't still mostly true.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

250. ARGUMENT FROM MONEY

 

1) I've got a quarter here, and look: it says "In God We Trust."

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

251. ARGUMENT FROM P.O.D.

 

1) P.O.D. is a Christian rock band that all of my friends love.

2) [atheist: Actually, they sound very manufactured and have cookie cutter

lyrics.]

3) But one of their songs is a memorial to the Columbine massacre! You must be

a wretched heartless aggressive homicidal loner if you don't feel compassion

for those who died at the Columbine shooting!

4) [atheist: That's not what I said . . . it's nice of them to write a memorial

song for the Columbine victims, but that's just for publici--]

5) See? P.O.D. is a great band. And they are sharing the love of our lord Jesus

Christ with everybody.

6) [atheist: Aren't you listening? P.O.D. might have written a song about

Columbine, but that doesn't mean they have any musical tal--]

7) Therefore, God exists.

 

252. ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE

 

1) Because.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

253. ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE (EXPANDED)

 

1) Because.

2) Because why?

3) Because!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

254. ARGUMENT FROM THE OPINIONS OF RESPECTED ACADEMICS

 

1) Our reporters have canvassed the opinions of various representatives of the

'Christian Academy of Unreal Fundyism.' This Institution has its headquarters

in the Bible Belt of the United States but there are numerous branches in North

America, Europe and throughout the World (as well indeed as in Heaven).

2) First we interviewed Professor Charles Razy, Head of the Department of

Scientific Theology and Professor Ivan Diot Head of the Department of

Theological Science, whose family originate from Eastern Europe. Professor Razy

explained that there are innumerable demonstrations that Christianity must be

the true religion. These proofs are so numerous that he cannot possibly

demonstrate them all here. None the less all Believers with sound religious

faith agree with Dr. Razy's considered opinions and those who disagree are

CLEARLY GUILTY of wilfully refusing to recognize the TRUTH.

3) Professor Diot explained that he concurred totally with his respected

colleague. Dr Diot stated further as is well known nasty Communists are not

religious, therefore religion must be a good thing. The Professor added, 'If

you don't support religion I suppose that means you're some kind of nasty

Commie.'

4) Dr. Frank Oolish, of the Department of History informed us the historical

evidence that Jesus is God is indeed overwhelming. His divine nature is

accepted by all Believers with sound religions faith. Dr F.Oolish added the

opinions of those whose faith is shaky counts for little. The opinions of those

without faith don't count at all.

5) We sought the opinions of two students, Mr Yolland Edward Stanley Man and

Miss Timi Doreen Miranda Ouse. Mr Y.E.S.Man,who is researching a Ph.D. in,

'Scientific Proof of the Divinity of Christ' stated that he concurred in all

respects with Professor C.Razy and Professor I.Diot. Such agreement had got him

safely through his undergraduate studies. Mr Y.E.S.Man regretted that the

Degrees, Doctorates, Professorships and other qualifications awarded by the

Christian Academy of Unreal Fundyism are not consistently recognised by

ungodley Universities. This, he said clearly proves the work of the devil.

6) Miss Timi.D.M.Ouse confirmed that she is sure the men are right. This she

knows is the sound course of action for a woman as GENESIS states clearly that

woman was created as the companion and helpmate of man. Our intrepid reporters

asked her how she explained that in the Epistle to the Galatians it says that

in Christ there is neither male nor female. Miss Timi.D.M.Ouse informed us that

she does not know how to deal with the contradiction, she would have to ask the

men. Meanwhile could we excuse her as it was her turn to make the coffee.

7) At this point we met Dr Sirus Tupid, a visiting lecturer from Britain. Dr

S.Tupid received his schooling under the strict and Spartan regime of a British

Public School. He is currently writing a paper on the need for sound

chastisement to teach children right from wrong.

8) We tried to discuss with him why psycologists disagreed with him over

chastisement. Dr Tupid explained that psychologists were clearly unbiblical.

God would grant those with sound Christian beliefs victory. 'What will you do

then?' we asked. Dr Tupid smiled, 'Naturally', he said 'I will practice

Christian forgiveness ----- together with due punishment as prescribed in the

bible.'

9) Therefore, God exists.

 

255. ARGUMENT FROM UNIQUE EXISTENCE

 

1) God exists, but not in a way that anything else that exists exists.

2) Since there are no other things that exist as God exists, we are free to

make up things about God's state of existence that ensure his continued

non-observability.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

256. TAFFY LEWIS'S ARGUMENT FROM POSITIVE RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE

 

1) More people have had positive religious experiences in the context of

Western theism.

2) It follows that God is kind, just, and all-loving.

3) Those people who have had negative experiences, or experiences of God's

nonexistence, don't count.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

257. ARGUMENT FROM RIGHTS

 

1) The Declaration of Independence founded the United States, and is therefore

true.

2) The Declaration says that our rights are "endowed by our Creator."

3) Dubya agrees with this.

4) You have rights, don't you?

5) Well then, where the fuck do you think they came from?!?

6) Therefore, God exists

 

 

258. ARGUMENT FROM FUTURE EVIDENCE

 

1) Look, I realize that it doesn't seem to make sense that there would

logically be a God.

2) However, I know He's real, and that in the future I think that maybe

something will happen probably that will show you all.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

259. ARGUMENT FROM POSTULATE

 

1) To fully understand the following demonstration, you must first assume that

God exists.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

260. ARGUMENT FROM POOR TYPING SKILLS

 

1) In tihs essae ill demnstrate that gOd exsits in a way tat's so sure thatno

athesit can PSOosibly reftue. J will firts dwmonsrtate waht we canaSSUme fo

rGod exisnce,,then how wwe can refute anya rgument wihch pretends teh contrrary

to eb true,tehn wel'l expose scinetific evidnece thatGod eeexists then we'll

cnolcude. yOU will fnid an acurate&up6to6date bibliography no teh page 43 of

tihs essay;i Sugegst yu to pritn iths doculent for a mroe confortable raeding.

2) [atheist doesn't bother to read it]

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

261. ARGUMENT FROM UNTRANSLATED OLD FRENCH

 

1) Mais pourceque j'avois deja connu en moi tres clairement que la nature

intelligente est distincte de la corporelle; considerant que toute composition

temoigne de la dependance, et que la dependance est manifestement un defaut, je

jugeois de la que ce ne pouvoit etre une perfection en Dieu d'etre compose de

ces deux natures, et que par consequent il ne l'etoit pas; mais que s'il y

avoit quelques corps dans le monde, ou bien quelques intelligences ou autres

natures qui ne fussent point toutes parfaites, leur etre devoit dependre de sa

puissance, en telle sorte quelles ne pouvoient subsister sans lui un seul

moment.

2) How could you possibly refute that?

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

262. ARGUMENT FROM CLEVER USE OF VOCABULARY

 

1) Many atheists will not be convinced by an argument with "Therefore, God

exists" as its conclusion.

2) Consequently, God exists.

 

 

263. ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE

 

1) I don't understand evolution. I mean, how could there be nothing rather than

something?

2) [atheist gives articulate explanation of evolution, and gently explains that

the beginning of the universe has nothing to do with evolution.]

3) Well it seems way too complicated and unlikely to me. Plus, I don't want to

live my life thinking I evolved from a monkey.

4) Therefore, God exists, and Jesus died for our sins.

5) [atheist points out that theists' ignorance of evolution does not mean that

there is a god, let alone the Christian god.]

6) Says you, god bless.

7) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

264. DAVID MATHEWS' ARGUMENT FROM HATRED

 

1) All you atheists hate me.

2) I have a use for that hatred.

3) Are you by any chance a Real Live Girl?

4) Therefore, God exists.

4a) ...and he told me to follow you home.

 

 

265. "BISHOP" DONNY SHORT'S ARGUMENT

 

1) Moral genocide is a suitable solution to many of life's problems.

2) This merciful act is described in the Bible.

3) Disagree with me, and I will kill you / deport you / sue you / report you to

the FBI / sic my wife on you (whichever is appropriate).

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

266. ARGUMENT FROM CHURCH

 

1) Lots of people go to church

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

267. ARGUMENT FROM PHOTO-OP

 

1) A couple of godless commie federal judges ruled the 1954 inclusion of "under

God" in the Pledge unconstitutional.

2) Almost immediately thereafter, the entire U.S. Senate recited the Pledge,

including "under God," on the Capitol steps.

3) The Senators' conduct was NOT -- I repeat, NOT -- mere political posturing

and/or vote whoring.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

268. ARGUMENT FROM PARIEDOLIA

 

1) I went to John (the Baptist)

2) I went through the motions.

3) I used the toilet paper.

4) I beheld the soiled toilet paper.

5) And behold, there was the figure of the Virgin Mary.

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

269. ARGUMENT FROM ORGASM

 

1) I don't arbitrarily call out names.

2) And yet last night, I screamed God's name on multiple occasions.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

270. ARGUMENT FROM DEFENESTRATION

 

1) If God exists, then He will protect me if I jump out this third-story window.

2) You, however, will not be so fortunate, you unsaved heathen.

3) *shove*

4) See? God didn't protect you, just like I predicted.

5) Any counterarguments? No?

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

271. ARGUMENT FROM MUSHROOMS

 

1) This pizza tastes funny.

2) That purple llama on the ceiling is juggling chainsaws.

3) Purple llamas can't juggle chainsaws.

4) It must be a miracle!

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

272. ARGUMENT FROM MYTHOLOGY

 

1) The Old Religions were wrong.

2) The Old Religions didn't believe in the same god as me.

3) Therefore, I must be right.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

273. ARGUMENT FROM ACCUSATION

 

1) The Bible says that everyone knows God exists.

2) Therefore, YOU know that God exists.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

274. ARGUMENT FROM NOT BELIEVING

 

1) The Bible said that we would be doubted

2) You doubt us.

3) Therefore, the Bible is true.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

275. ARGUMENT FROM BANANAS

 

1) Bananas have many characteristics that make them attractive as primate food.

2) They're so good, they must have been created by a divine being.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

276. FALWELL'S ARGUMENT FROM METEORS

 

1) God hates gay people.

2) God is merciful.

3) Disney World held a Gay Day parade.

4) God could have punished them by sending earthquakes, hurricanes, or possibly

a meteor down on Florida.

5) He didn't.

6) Therefore, (1) and (2) are correct.

7) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

277. ARGUMENT FROM COAL MINERS

 

1) A bunch of coal miners got trapped.

2) A bunch of people worked around the clock for a week to rescue them.

3) They were all found alive.

4) Only God could have done that.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

278. THE YOUTH GROUP LEADER'S ARGUMENT

 

1) God is awesome!

2) Like, totally, dude!

3) Therefore, God, like, exists and stuff.

 

 

279. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL INABILITY

 

1) The Bible says Jesus turned water into wine.

2) Can you turn water into wine?

3) No? Well, there ya go.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

280. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL ABILITY

 

1) I prayed to God, and then lifted a car off my trapped daughter.

2) I couldn't have done that without God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

281. ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE OPPOSITION

 

1) Satan is bad.

2) You don't want to be on Satan's side, do you?

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

282. THE YOUTH GROUP LEADER'S ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE OPPOSITION

 

1) Satan, like, really sucks.

2) You don't wanna be like Satan, right dude?

3) Therefore, God, like, exists and stuff. Totally.

 

 

283. ARGUMENT FROM BUFFALO

 

1) The Indians used every part of the buffalo.

2) A creature we can use every part of couldn't have just randomly evolved.

3) It had to be created by a divine being who spent his early years churning

out buffalo.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

284. ARGUMENT FROM DENTAL OPPORTUNITY OFFERED

 

1) Bite me.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

285. ARGUMENT FROM DENTAL OPPORTUNITY ACCEPTED

 

1) Bite me.

2) OW! YOU BIT ME!

3) I'm being persecuted!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

286. NEW AGE ARGUMENT

 

1) If enough people just believe, God exists.

2) Lots of people have been believing for a very long time.

3) Therefore, surely by NOW, God exists.

 

 

287. ARGUMENT FROM BEAUTY

 

1) Look how beautiful you are.

2) If you evolved, you'd be pretty ugly.

3) Only God could have made you beautiful.

4) I don't care that beauty is totally subjective -- you are beautiful in God's

eyes!

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

288. ARGUMENT FROM BRAINWASHING

 

1) Atheists claim that Christians have been brainwashed by churches, priests

and religious environment.

2) Yeah, well, you have been brainwashed by secular colleges and universities!

Your brainwashing keeps you from the Truth!

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

289. ARGUMENT FROM COMMUNISM

 

1) All communists are atheists.

2) All communists are bad.

3) Therefore they are wrong.

4) The moral majority is are theists and non-communists.

5) Therefore they are good.

6) Therefore they are right.

7) This argument does so make sense!

8) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

290. ARGUMENT FROM WHATEVER I DO

 

1) Sometimes I do good things, and sometimes I do bad things.

2) When I do good things, this proves that God is helping me to be good.

3) When I do bad things, this proves that the devil has tempted me to do evil,

and I need God's help to overcome temptation.

4) So whatever I do, it proves that God exists.

5) Therefore, God exists

 

 

291. ARGUMENT FROM BEER (IV)

 

1) Real men like beer.

2) God allowed real men to make beer.

3) Therefore, God exists, and likes beer.

 

 

292. ARGUMENT FROM TAXATION

 

1) Churches don't pay taxes.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

293. ARGUMENT FROM GOD'S PLAN

 

1) Things are the way they are.

2) Therefore, there is a plan in this world.

3) Both my belief and your nonbelief are a part of this plan.

4) [atheist: "Why?"]

5) The plan is too infinitely great for our minds to comprehend the "why."

6) Therefore, the plan must have an infinitely great mind behind it.

7) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

294. ARGUMENT FROM HAULING ASS

 

1) [theist creates message board account and logs in.]

2) *GOD IS REEL AND ALL U HEATHEN ATHIEST INFEDILS WILL BURN IN HEL FORE EVER

MARK MY WERDS!!!!!!!@#3FD*

3) [theist logs off and never returns.]

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

295. BAPTISTBOARD'S ARGUMENT FROM PECULIARITY

 

1) God calls for us to be a peculiar people.

2) Stop laughing, atheist.

3) In order to preserve our own particular peculiarity . . .

4) I said, stop laughing.

5) . . . we must be a people apart. This means not listening to anyone who

believes differently than we do, because this would taint our peculiarity.

6) IF YOU DO NOT STOP LAUGHING . . .

7) Therefore, God exists.

7a) . . . especially since the atheists are laughing at us.

 

 

296. ARGUMENT FROM TINKERTOYS

 

1) Take some tinkertoys and make several "creations."

2) Take the creations apart and dump the pieces in a plastic bag.

3) Shake the pieces up and dump them on the floor.

4) Repeat as often as you wish.

5) The tinkertoys will never reassemble themselves into the original creations.

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

297. ARGUMENT FROM HOSPITAL

 

1) A dear relative of mine was terminally ill and undergoing extensive surgery

in the hospital.

2) My whole family sat outside the OR and prayed throughout the eight hours of

surgery.

3) He lived.

4) The highly trained physicians had nothing to do with it.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

298. ARGUMENT FROM WEIRD

 

1) You look weird, atheist.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

299. ARGUMENT FROM ALIENS

 

1) What we call aliens are really demons. The Bible says so.

2) If demons exist, then so does God.

3) You've seen "The X-Files," haven't you?

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

300. ARGUMENT FROM REVELATION

 

1) God told me that he exists.

2) God wouldn't lie.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

301. ARGUMENT FROM SURPLUS POPULATION

 

1) [Christian kills atheist]

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

302. ARGUMENT FROM UNCONSCIOUS THEISM

 

1) Atheists think that the universe created life.

2) At least they should, if they are smart.

3) But only a God could create like.

4) So atheists should believe in God. They're just too dumb.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

303. ARGUMENT FROM VERY SPECIAL EXPERIENCE

 

1) I had this incredible experience that could only have come from God.

2) No, there is no way that this could be explained naturally.

3) No, alternate explanations p, q, r, s, t, u, w, x, y and z cannot explain it.

4) Because they can't!

5) How dare you deny my very special experience!

6) You don't want to believe that what I experienced is from God, because

you're a closed-minded, dogmatic materialist!

7) And you're a big meanie! I'm not talking to you anymore!

8) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

304. ARGUMENT FROM JOHN COLTRANE

 

1) John Coltrane's "A Love Supreme" is dedicated to God.

2) It is full of passion.

3) Atheists can't explain that passion.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

305. ARGUMENT FROM GEORGE HARRISON

 

1) George Harrison wrote "My Sweet Lord."

2) It's one of the most beautiful pop songs ever, and one of the only pop songs

devoted to God.

3) I don't care if it is plagiarized from "He's So Fine!"

4) And no, the backup singers are NOT singing "Hare Krishna!"

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

306. ARGUMENT FROM PAPAL AUTHORITY

 

1) The Pope believes in God.

2) The Pope is infallible.

3) I am Catholic, and I like the Pope.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

307. BAPTISTBOARD'S ARGUMENT FROM BEING A BAPTIST

 

1) Lots of people on the BB believe in God.

2) I like them.

3) And you know, they sure seem wise to me.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

308. ARGUMENT FROM GAME THEORY

 

1) Pursuant to game theory, belief in an afterlife is the most sensible option.

2) No, this is NOT Pascal's Wager in different clothes!

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

309. ARGUMENT FROM INCONSISTENCY (POLKINGHORNE'S MILLION-DOLLAR ARGUMENT)

 

1) If the Bible were cooked up by fakers, it would have been perfect and

seamless and without any apparent inconsistencies, to make it look like the

word of God.

2) But the Bible IS inconsistent, erroneous, and plain goofy in many places.

3) Therefore, the Bible is NOT the product of fakers.

4) It must be the word of God. Amen.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

310. ARGUMENT FROM BUZZWORDS

 

1) As our modal analysis clearly shows, the irreducibly complex nature of the

universe indivates probabilistic fine-tuning at the quantum level and renders

God logically necessary.

2) Therefore, god exists.

 

 

311. ARGUMENT FROM WHINEY ATHEISTS

 

1) Things hurt.

2) Atheists think that things aren't supposed to hurt.

3) They really are whiney, aren't they?

4) Christians know better than that.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

312. ARGUMENT FROM RELIGIOUS DIVERSITY

 

1) Atheists think that the difference in religiouns disprove God's existence.

2) To-may-to, to-mah-to.

3) Everyone knows that you must accept Jesus Christ in order to be saved.

4) Well, everyone who matters, anyway.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

313. ARGUMENT FROM RELIGIOUS LANGUAGE

 

1) God exists.

2) Therefore, when I talk about God or related concepts, these words denote

something.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

314. ARGUMENT FROM EVOLUTION

 

1) Science is always true.

2) Science says that there is a vanishingly small chance that all of this could

have happened on its own.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

315. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENCE

 

1) Science is not always true

2) Therefore, there is room for religious faith.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

316. ARGUMENT FROM MONTY PYTHON

 

1) Graham Chapman appeared in a film that made fun of Jesus.

2) He later died of a horrible, incurable disease.

3) Still laughing?

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

317. ARGUMENT FROM WAR

 

1) War is hell.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

318. ARGUMENT FROM CLEVER USE OF VOCABULARY (II)

 

1) Nonexistence exists.

2) Therefore, even if God is nonexistent, God exists.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

319. ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE POWERS

 

1) God exists.

2) This could only be the work of God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

320. ARGUMENT FROM OPPRESSION

 

1) God exists.

2) Atheist, are you saying that God doesn't exist?

3) You're oppressing me! You're depriving me of my right to believe!

4) You must therefore be wrong.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

321. ARGUMENT FROM NOT QUITE GETTING IT

 

1) Well, he wrote some books, right?

2) Right?

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

322. ARGUMENT FROM INFINITY LOVER WASTING EVERYBODY'S TIME

 

1) Infinity lover would just like to take this opportunity to say hellp to

Sweep and Opera Nut.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

323. LEE STROBEL'S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM WARM AND FUZZY THINGS)

 

1) I like warm and fuzzy things.

2) When I was an atheist, I didn't have any warm and fuzzy things in my life.

3) If the New Testament is true, then lots of warm and fuzzy things are true,

beacuse all these really smart Christians say so.

4) Old Testament? Never heard of it.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

324. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENCE (II)

 

1) Everything was fine until man created science.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

325. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICA

 

1) God bless America.

2) You're either for us or you're against us.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

326. ARGUMENT FROM MASSIVE OPIATES

 

1) Got to keep the public distracted.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

327. ARGUMENT FROM KING JOSIAH

 

1) Time to expand the kingdom.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

328. JOHN ASHCROFT'S ARGUMENT

 

1) I say God exists.

2) I could have you locked up forever, you know.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

329. ARGUMENT FROM IMMESURABLY REAL EFFECTS

 

1) God only makes his presence known through undetectable spirituality.

2) This undetectable spirituality has made a real difference in my life.

3) But you won't be able to measure it.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

330. ARGUMENT FROM INDIGESTION

 

1) God burns unbelievers.

2) I'm an unbeliever.

3) I get heartburn when I watch TBN.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

331. ARGUMENT FROM TEETH GNASHING

 

1) God makes unbelievers gnash their teeth in hell.

2) I'm an unbeliever.

3) Last time I watched Jack Van Impe, my teeth gnashed.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

332. ARGUMENT FROM IT'S MY BALL AND YOU CAN'T PLAY

 

1) There is abundant logical and empirical evidence that God does not exist.

2) There is no evidence that God does exist.

3) But God plays by completely different rules.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

333. ARGUMENT FROM DISCOMFORT

 

1) I am happy, believing in God.

2) Then you come along and say all this nasty stuff to take my happiness away.

3) *sniffsniff* Why are you making me uncomfortable?

4) Anyone who makes other people uncomfortable must be different. And bad. And

ignorant.

5) Daddy will hug me!

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

334. ARGUMENT FROM FREAKING

 

1) Look, you freaking atheists, God just freaking exists, and you'll have to

get freaking used to it, because I'm not going to freaking argue with you

anymore. Oh-freaking-kay?

2) Therefore, God freaking exists.

2a) Freaking.

 

 

335. ARGUMENT FROM LITTLE BABIES (I)

 

1) Sometimes a bad person hurts little babies because he doesn't have a happy

life.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

336. ARGUMENT FROM LITTLE BABIES (II)

 

1) Sometimes little babies are different from one another -- how could you

explain that? Like, one will be really happy, and another will be sad.

Sometimes even twins.

2) This proves the existence of unique souls.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

337. ARGUMENT FROM A VIDEO I WATCHED WITH MY DAD

 

1) Me and my dad watched this video where the Virgin Mary appeared on a

building in Egypt. No, it was kinda blurry -- lots of people saw it, though,

and they were pointing at it.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

338, ARGUMENT FROM CALENDAR

 

1) The years of our calendar are dated from the birth of Christ.

2) Therefore, atheists can't live without making reference to Christ.

3) Obviously, atheists can't really live apart from God, even though they say

they can.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

339. ARGUMENT FROM GOD-CENTRISM

 

1) Everything revolves around God, even the earth and the sun.

2) Therefore, even atheists revolve around God!

3) Silly, aren't they, to deny the truth?

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

340. ARGUMENT FROM FORGIVING MISGUIDEDNESS

 

1) [atheist presents disproofs of God's existence]

2) You're wrong, and your disbelief in God will send you to hell -- but he

loves you, and I forgive your arrogance.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

341. ARGUMENT FROM FEELING GOD'S PRESENCE

 

1) Atheists just haven't truly felt God's presence yet.

2) If they had ever felt God's presence, they would not be atheists.

3) Theists have truly felt God's presence.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

342. ARGUMENT FROM WHAT MAKES SENSE

 

1) Doesn't it just MAKE MORE SENSE that an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good

deity created the world out of nothingness, essentially from magic, and then

punished us for eating a piece of fruit, and then incarnated himself in human

flesh and came down to shed his own blood so he could break his own rules, and

then went through hell on a temporary basis and then went back into the sky and

promised to come back and take everyone who believed in him to this heaven that

no one has ever seen?

2) Well, doesn't it?

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

343. ARGUMENT FROM ABUSE OF OCCAM'S RAZOR

 

1) Okay, let's cut the crap. God exists, okay?

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

344. ARGUMENT FROM COMMON CONSEQUENCE

 

1) First question -- answer yes or no: Does God exist?

2) Second question -- answer yes or no: Are your answers to this question and

the preceeding question BOTH true or BOTH false?

3) If you answered yes to both questions, then God exists. Here's why:

4) Either your answer to 2 is true or false. Suppose it's true. Your answer was

yes, so either both answers are true or both are false. Since we have supposed

it to be true, your answer to 1 must also be true -- otherwise one answer would

be true and one false.

5) Suppose your answer to 2 is false. Your answer was yes, so one answer must

be true and the other false. Since we have supposed your answer to 2 to be

false, your answer to 1 must be true -- otherwise the answers to both questions

would be false.

6) Either way, your answer to the first question is true, and God exists.

7) If you did not answer yes to both questions, then . . . just go away.

8) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

345. SARFATI'S ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN

 

1) SA published an article that shows creationism is nonsense.

2) The first editor of SA was a Christian.

3) Therefore, whoever wrote that article is a traitor and a liar.

4) Besides, SA didn't hire any creationists in the 70s, so they're obviously

trying to persecute Christians.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

346. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN (II)

 

1) Answers In Genesis copied the full text of an article from SA.

2) SA sent one email to AIG saying tha they don't necessarily want their

articles distributed for free on the Internet by just anyone.

3) See! SA persecutes Christians!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

347. ARGUMENT FROM PEPPERED MOTHS

 

1) Science texts still use the peppered moths to prove evolution.

2) [atheist says that he has never seen a text which claims anything of the

sort -- in fact, the only place he hears about peppered moths is from

creationist websites.]

3) Obviously, then, the atheist has no clue what he's talking about, then.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

348. ARGUMENT FROM RADIO SIGNALS

 

1) There are many radio signals floating around your head all the time.

2) God is on one of them.

3) You just have to listen to the right signal.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

349. ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM IN INDIA

 

1) Would you call your agnostic experiences agnostic if you had been raised in

India?

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

350. ARGUMENT FROM BEST-SELLER

 

1) The Bible is the best-selling book in history.

2) Now, just because it's popular doesn't mean it's the Word of God.

3) But there's not much evidence to suggest it's not.

4) [sound of nonbeliever spitting milk out her nose]

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

351. MODIFIED TRILEMMA ARGUMENT

 

1) Jesus was lord, liar, or lunatic.

2) Can you prove he was a liar?

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

352. ARGUMENT FROM ANARCHY

 

1) There has to be objective truth to the universe, and humans have to be able

to access it.

2) Otherwise there would be anarchy everywhere.

3) No courts, or governments, or anything.

4) [nonbeliever falls out of her chair from laughing]

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

353. ARGUMENT FROM YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE RIGHT

 

1) You admit there is a theoretical possibility you're wrong.

2) This means I'm right, because there is no theoretical possibility of my

being wrong.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

354. ARGUMENT FROM ARCHITECTURE

 

1) There's a big statue of Jesus in Rio de Janeiro.

2) Jesus is the son of God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

355. ARGUMENT FROM WINDY, ANOREXIC RIGHT WING MOUTHPIECES

 

1) Ann Coulter believes in God -- so much so that she advocated killing the

leaders of all Arab countries and forcibly converting the people who live in

those countries to Christianity.

2) Coulter's latest book was #1 on the bestseller list for a while -- which, of

course, proves that she's right about everything.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

356. ARGUMENT FROM CONFUSION OF KNOWLEDGE AND FAITH

 

1) I know that God exists.

2) I have faith that God exists.

3) See?

4) [nonbeliever: No.]

5) Well, you didn't know that your tap would give you water today, did you?

6) You must have had faith that it did.

7) So knowledge and faith are the same thing.

8) So I know God exists.

9) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

357. ARGUMENT FROM YOUR BEST FRIEND'S FRIDGE

 

1) Suppose your best friend told you she had an old fridge she would give you,

sight unseen.

2) Would you question your best friend's word? No?

3) And yet some people dare to question God!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

358. ARGUMENT FROM ALL BAD THINGS

 

1) Throughout the history of Christianity, a supposed all-loving God has

allowed bad things to happen.

2) Christians looked for comfort from God for these bad things.

3) The more bad things happen, the more Christians look for comfort from the

all-loving God.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

359. ARGUMENT FROM REDEFINITION OF ATHEISM

 

1) Atheists say they don't believe in God.

2) They're lying -- "atheists" are actually those who worship Satan because

they want to indulge their sexual perversions.

3) Satan and his worshippers know that God exists.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

360. ARGUMENT FROM SELF-LABELING

 

1) When I was an atheist, I knew that God existed, but I hated him.

2) Of course I was an atheist!

3) I can call myself anything I like. You have no right to stop me.

4) Therefore, atheists know that God exists.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

361. ARGUMENT FROM NAZI DECEPTION

 

1) Hitler and his Nazis were atheists.

2) Yes, they fooled a lot of people into thinking they were Christians. That

was propaganda. They were atheists.

3) This proves that atheists are the masters of deception.

4) Revelation says that the antichrist will deceive people.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

362. ARGUMENT FROM NAZI EVIL

 

1) Hitler and his Nazis were atheists.

2) I don't care what the historical evidence says about their being Christians.

Christians cannot be evil, and only atheists would be capable of the Holocaust.

3) So Nazis, like all truly evil people, are atheists.

4) Therefore, all atheists are truly evil. They must be servants of Satan.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

363. ARGUMENT FROM DARWINIAN DIVINITY

 

1) Atheists are evolutionists who worship Darwin.

2) See, everyone needs to worship a god, even atheists.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

364. ARGUMENT FROM BAD NEIGHBORS

 

1) My neighbor is always snooping through my garbage.

2) I prayed for something bad to happen to my neighbor.

3) Then my neighbor stuck his hand into a bear trap in my garbage.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

365. ARGUMENT FROM ANAL FRUSTRATION

 

1) God my ASS!!

2) My ass exists.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

366. ARGUMENT FROM YOU ARE ALWAYS LOVED

 

1) You are always loved.

2) God invented love.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

367. ARGUMENT FROM GOD WILL PROVIDE

 

1) I don't know what I'm going to do with my life.

2) But something always happens to sustain me. My parents support me, I find a

job, etc. God provides!

3) No, it's NOT the actions of the humans themselves! How could you think that?"

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

368. ARGUMENT FROM NOT CONTRADICTING SUPERNATURALISM

 

1) Science can give evidence for the existence of God.

2) At the points where it doesn't, scientists should just shut up.

3) Therefore, no evidence against God will ever be developed.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

369. ARGUMENT FROM DON'T BE IMPRISONED BY YOUR OWN LOGIC

 

1) You could see the beauty of God if you would just open your eyes.

2) God won't show himself to a person who has his eyes closed, you know.

3) Logic can keep you from God, but only if you let it.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

370. ARGUMENT FROM LEFT TURN OUT OF McDONALDS

 

1) A lady in an SUV with cell phone to her head pulls out of McD's with no

concept of oncoming traffic.

2) A frustrated motorist yells "Jesus Christ!"

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

371. ARGUMENT FROM EAR SHAPE

 

1) A drunken twentyish guy pontificates about ear shape and evolutionary

processes.

2) His girlfriend rebuts his assertion and proclaims intelligent design.

3) She's cute, so he's not going to argue with her.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

372. ARGUMENT FROM M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN

 

1) Mel Gibson is a reverend whose wife is horribly killed, and he loses his

faith.

2) The Earth is suddenly attacked, his family is terrorized, he loses two pets,

and many people across the globe presumably die.

3) An alien grabs and terrorizes his son, injecting him with a poison. But with

the help of said son's asthma, and the last words of his dead wife, he gets

lucky and the kid doesn't quite die.

4) Therefore, God exists.

4a) And don't you dare stop believing in him -- otherwise, he might try to

restore your faith by scaring the hell out of you.

 

 

373. ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENCY

 

1) You have to have faith!

2) [atheist: How do you define faith?]

3) You know . . . Faith!

4) [atheist: No, I don't know. Please enlighten me.]

5) You do so have faith! You're just trying to confuse me!

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

374. ARGUMENT FROM YOU'RE TOO NICE

 

1) You're too nice to be an atheist.

2) Therefore you can't be an atheist. You must believe in God.

3) [atheist: Actually, no . . .]

4) I'm not listening! LA LA LA LA LA!

5) Therefore, God exists. To infinity.

 

 

375. ARGUMENT FROM DAN QUAYLE

 

2) Gode Exists.

 

 

376. ARGUMENT FROM BILL CLINTON

 

1) The existence of God depends on your definition of the word "of."

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

377. ARGUMENT FROM JOHNNY COCHRAN

 

1) If God exist, you must acquist!

2) Therefore, God exist.

 

 

378. ARGUMENT FROM GEORGE W. BUSH

 

1) That god won't hunt.

2) Y'all.

3) Ergo, um, axle of evil, ahh, claridify, umm, supportification, ah, pretzel.

3) Y'all.

4) What he said.

5) Therefore, God existifies.

2) Launch.

 

 

379. GODEL'S ARGUMENT

 

1) Any proof of God's existence will always be incomplete.

2) Therefore, Godel exists.

 

 

380. MINIMALISTIC ARGUMENT

 

1) God

 

 

381. ARGUMENT FROM PLUMBER

 

1) Therefore, God exists.

2) That'll be five hundred dollars.

 

 

382. ARGUMENT FROM THE SOUP NAZI

 

1) If God exists, he will stand in line like everybody else.

2) That's it! No soup for you!

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

383. ARGUMENT FROM GOD'S MOTHER

 

1) You never call.

2) Mr. Bigshot, too important to call his own mother.

3) I might as well not exist. *sniff*

4) And if I don't exist . . .

5) [God quickly calls his mother]

6) Therefore, God exists.

6a) Now let me materialize a nice hot cup of chicken soup . . .

 

 

384. ARGUMENT FROM CLASSIFIED ADS

 

1) Suprmdl sks lv-in bdygrd. 1 bdrm apt.

2) Thr4 Gd xsts.

 

 

385. ARGUMENT FROM DAUGHTER

 

1) Can I have twenty bucks?

2) I HATE you!

3) Can you take me to the mall?

4) There IS a God!

 

 

386. ARGUMENT FROM SON

 

1) God made me do it.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

387. ARGUMENT FROM SPOUSE

 

1) If you are still on that damned computer, God help you!

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

388. ARGUMENT FROM LONG SILENCE

 

1) God exists.

2) [atheist explains why he doesn't]

3) [long silence]

4) [atheist forgets about the argument and goes home]

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

389. ARGUMENT FROM FOOD CHAIN

 

1) Humans are right at the top of the food chain.

2) God made it this way.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

390. ARGUMENT FROM UNDERSTANDING

 

1) You're not meant to understand.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

391. ARGUMENT FROM ALIENS

 

1) Everyone knows that aliens don't exist.

2) Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

3) Oh, but God's different!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

392. ARGUMENT FROM SURVIVAL OF THE STUPID

 

1) Norman and Jason have been posting for a couple of years now.

2) And yet, there's no possible way that anyone THAT fucking stupid could

survive more than an hour without supernatural assistance.

3) It's a miracle!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

393. ARGUMENT FROM DESTRUCTIVE CAPABILITY

 

1) The U.S. has the firepower to slaughter as many third world people as it

wants.

2) The U.S. uses that firepower regularly.

3) Of course, America's firepower and willingness to use it are God's will.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

394. ARGUMENT FROM HUME (BRITT, NOT DAVID)

 

1) If Osama bin Laden is still alive, then Dubya's war on terrorism has thus

far failed.

2) I can't wrap my mind around the idea that the war has been a failure, even

in part.

3) Therefore, we must interpret the fact that we haven't seen any new bin Laden

tapes for a while as conclusive proof that bin Laden is dead.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

395. ARGUMENT FROM JESUS LOVES ME

 

1) Jesus loves me because the Bible says so.

2) If radiometric dating is valid, then Jesus might not love me after all

because the Bible might not be literal truth.

3) That's unacceptable.

4) Therefore, radiometric dating is bogus, the Bible is literally true, Jesus

loves me, and God exists.

 

 

396. ARGUMENT FROM THE LOTTERY

 

1) Thousands of people in New York were murdered by terrorists on 9/11/01

2) The winning New York lottery numbers on 9/11/02 were 911.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

397. ARGUMENT FROM AMBROSIA

 

1) Mountain Dew is the nectar of the Gods.

2) But God does not condone polytheism. And God knows best.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

398. ARGUMENT FROM HEISENBERG UNCERTAINTY

 

1) The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle (HUP) states that the location or the

movement of a particle can be known, but not simultaneously.

2) But God knows everything.

3) Therefore, the HUP is false.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

399. ARGUMENT FROM PULP FICTION

 

1) God CAME down from heaven, and stopped those motha-fuckin' bullets.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

400. ARGUMENT FROM VOLTAIRE

 

1) Voltaire said, "If God didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent him."

2) I concur.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

401. ARGUMENT FROM NIETZSCHE

 

1) Nietzsche said, "The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist."

2) Not true. God's got PLENTY of excuses.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

402. ARGUMENT FROM FIGHT CLUB

 

1) We are God's unwanted children.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

403. ARGUMENT FROM BASELESS CLAIM

 

1) If you can show _______, then that would be evidence against God's existence.

2) If you can't fill in that blank with some criteria, then the statement that

there is a God seems to be without content, since no matter what the evidence

was, you would still believe in a God.

3) That's right.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

404. ARGUMENT FROM COMPLEXITY

 

1) That which is complex has a creator.

2) The universe is complex.

3) Only God is complex enough to create the universe.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

405. ARGUMENT FROM SOME JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES AT PERCHANCE'S DOOR

(ULTRA-CONDENSED VERSION)

 

1) Russia was atheistic.

2) But Russia collapsed.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

406. ARGUMENT FROM 2+2=4

 

1) 2+2=4

2) Think about how improbable that is.

3) If the universe were left to random chance, 2+24 would probably not equal 4.

4) Instead, it might be equal to -43, or 7,894,321,695,844, or something else.

5) Only God could make 2+2=4.

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

407. ARGUMENT FROM FERMAT

 

1) My proof is so big it doesn't fit into the margins.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

408. ARGUMENT FROM INTUITION

 

1) Democritus, and the writers of creation myths, and correct intuitions that

there are atoms, and the world had not existed forever, respectively.

2) Therefore, intuition in general is reliable.

3) My intuition tells me that God exists.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

409. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF AN ARGUMENT (I)

 

1) Well . . .

2) Um . . .

3) You see . . .

4) Um . . .

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

410. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF AN ARGUMENT (II)

 

1) I don't have an argument for God.

2) My lack of an argument makes me morally superior to you atheists.

3) This indicates a baseline standard of morality that must have been derived

from God.

4) MY GOD!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *coughcough* Ouchies . . .

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

411. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF AN ARGUMENT (III)

 

1) No, I WASN'T arguing!

2) WAS NOT!

3) What do you mean, I'm arguing now?

4) WHAT!?!?!?

5) [see argument #32 for further details]

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

412. ARGUMENT FROM LENGTH

 

1) Here is a 200 page document, all in one giant paragraph, that proves God's

existence.

2) You didn't refute the third argument on page 167.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

413. TERCEL'S ARGUMENT FROM MYTH GESTATION TIME

 

1) The gospels were written X amount of time after the events they describe.

2) It takes longer than X for mythological content to be added to writings

about people.

3) [atheist points out examples of myths popping up about events after periods

much shorter than X, even "living legends" who had myths circulate them during

their own lifetime.]

4) Oh, those are just exceptions to the rule!

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

414. ARGUMENT FROM McCARTHY

 

1) All atheists are commies.

2) You're not a commie, are you?

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

415. ETERNAL'S ARGUMENT FROM GENITALIA

 

1) I have a penis.

2) I can pee and ejaculate with it.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

416. ARGUMENT FROM EXPERIENCE

 

1) You're too young.

2) You haven't yet experienced life's absurdity.

3) You'll grow up.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

417. ARGUMENT FROM UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

 

1) Life is full of important questions.

2) I need God to answer them.

3) No, I'm NOT jumping on the first bogus answer people have been feeding me

with!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

418. ARGUMENT FROM CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM

 

1) I like chocolate ice cream.

2) I opened my freezer, and behold, there was chocolate ice cream in it.

3) God is so nice with all his little attentions!

4) Therefore, God exist.

 

 

419. ARGUMENT FROM MISDEFINITION OF A RELIGION

 

1) You don't want to be an evolutionist, do you?

2) [atheist explains that evolution is a scientific theory, not a religion]

3) But you believe in it.

4) That means you support Social Darwinism.

5) And that's just yucky.

6) I don't want to be yucky, so I can't support evolution.

7) But I need some explanation for the origin of life.

8) [atheist: Evolution has nothing to do with--]

9) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

420. ARGUMENT FROM ACCEPTANCE SPEECHES

 

1) First of all, I'd like to thank my lord and savior, Jesus Christ.

2) [shout out to all my homies in the balcony]

3) I couldn't have done this without Jesus.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

421. ARGUMENT FROM QUOTE MINING

 

1) Here is an irrelevant quote by Stephen Jay Gould that proves that evolution

is wrong.

2) [atheist: Uhhh, that quote is a bit out of context. Actually, if you read

the whole page from which the quote is taken, you'll see that--]

3) Since evolution is wrong, Creationism is true.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

422. ARGUMENT FROM IDIOTS AT THE DOOR

 

1) Hello, we would like to talk about God--

2) GET THE HELL OFF MY PROPERTY!!!

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

423. ARGUMENT FROM SNOTTY BRITISH BIOLOGIST

 

1) Richard Dawkins ridicules religion in some of his books.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

424. ARGUMENT FROM OPENING OF MOUTH

 

1) If you talk about something, that means it actually exists.

2) God.

3) Odin.

4) Nah-uh.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

425. ARGUMENT FROM JOAN OF ARC

 

1) I found a sword in a field.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

426. ARGUMENT FROM STUDENT PAPERS

 

1) I'm writing my paper at the last minute.

2) I know I should have done it two weeks ago, when I first knew about the

paper, but I was busy.

3) I pray that God will help me get it done by morning.

4) Yay! It's done!

5) Who cares that it's not nearly as good as it could have been if I'd spent

several days on it?

6) Thank you, Lord!

7) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

427. ARGUMENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S REALITY

 

1) I have experienced God.

2) Other people have not.

3) Poor people. There is something wrong with their perception of reality.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

428. ARGUMENT FROM STUDENT PAPERS (II)

 

1) This author is stupid bitch.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

429. ARGUMENT FROM "OFFICE SPACE"

 

1) PC Load Letter, what the fuck is that?

2) Someone must know what it means.

3) Michael Bolton doesn't know (and he's smart).

4) God would know.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

430. ARGUMENT FROM "AMERICAN BEAUTY" (I)

 

1) This bag was swirling around in the wind.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

431. ARGUMENT FROM "AMERICAN BEAUTY" (II)

 

1) Thora Birch.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

432. ARGUMENT FROM THE TGE PROJECT

 

1) The TGE Project's list has gone on far longer than any reasonable person

would expect.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

433. ARGUMENT FROM KEVIN BACON

 

1) Kevin Bacon is haunting my dorm.

2) He keeps rattling and scratching at my door at night.

3) I prayed to Jebus, and Kevin Bacon hasn't broken down my door yet.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

434. ARGUMENT FROM MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE RADIO

 

1) I was listening to the radio, and I started thinking about my favorite song.

2) Then my favorite song started playing on the radio!

3) God must have heard my thoughts!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

435. ARGUMENT FROM THE FORCE

 

1) Dude, the Force is totally a metaphor for God!

2) What do you mean that doesn't prove anything? It's Star Wars!

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

436. ARGUMENT FROM I WAS A SICK SON OF A BITCH

 

1) When I was an atheist, I smoked crack, robbed gas stations, raped

prostitutes, and stole candy from babies.

2) When I found Jesus, I stopped doing that stuff.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

437. ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENT WEB DESIGN

 

1) The AIG website is too complex to have arisen by chance.

2) Therefore it was intelligently designed.

3) Therefore, the designers are intelligent, so we can trust what they say.

4) They say God exists.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

438. ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENT WEB DESIGN

 

1) The AIG website is too complex to have arisen by chance.

2) Therefore it was intelligently designed.

3) Creationists are not intelligent, so it must have been God.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

439. ARGUMENT FROM CONTRADICTION

 

1) Assume that God exists.

2) The atheist claims that God doesn't exist.

3) But since this contradicts the original assumption, the atheist must be

wrong.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

440. ARGUMENT FROM MESSED UP TRINITARIAN REASONING

 

1) God is three.

2) Three's a crowd.

3) A crowd consists of people.

4) People exist.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

441. THE INEVITABLE ARGUMENT FROM HOMER SIMPSON

 

1) Doh!

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

442. ARGUMENT FROM "24"

 

1) The following takes place between 9:00 PM and 10:00 PM on the day of the

California Presidential Primary.

2) [Christian spends an hour "witnessing"]

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

443. ARGUMENT FROM POT

 

1) Everything on Earth is here for people to use.

2) Weed makes you feel really good.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

444. ARGUMENT FROM TASTY ANIMALS

 

1) If we weren't meant to eat animals, they wouldn't be made of meat.

2) Animals are made of meat.

3) Therefore, God meant us to eat them.

4) Therefore, God exists.

4a) . . . and he wants me to eat your cow.

 

 

445. ELRIC'S ARGUMENT FROM QUICK DEATH

 

!) The Bible is full of mass murdering, infant slaying, child-killing bastards

that claim to do God's work.

2) Personally, I would rather die a quick death at the hands of a madman than a

slow one. Wouldn't you?

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

 

446. ARGUMENT FROM HOMOSEXUALS

 

1) If God created us as in Adam and Eve, then there would not be homosexuals.

2) Therefore, all homosexuals are really straight people just pretending to be

gay.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

447. ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY

 

1) Let's imagine that God doesn't exist.

2) That's absurd.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

448. ARGUMENT FROM BULLY

 

1) I say God exists.

2) If you don't believe me, I'll punch you in the face.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

449. ARGUMENT FROM RANDOM COUNTERPOINT

 

1) God doesn't exist.

2) Or does he . . .?

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

450. ARGUMENT FROM ASSHOLE

 

1) God exists, asshole.

2) Therefore, God exists. Asshole.

 

 

451. AUDREY MEYER'S ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE

 

1) Ignorance runs rampant.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

 

 

452. ARGUMENT FROM STAR TREK (II)

 

1) The makers of Star Trek presented the view that human life was planted by

aliens.

2) They did this because they knew that life emerging from elementary particles

was improbable.

3) But this only delays the answer to the problem of origins.

4) Easy answer: God did it.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

453. ARGUMENT FROM GRATUITOUS SUFFERING (JOB 19:25's ARGUMENT)

 

1) A doctor I knew didn't believe in God.

2) He saw children dying of cancer.

3) They said they saw angels right before they passed away.

4) He became convinced.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

454. ARGUMENT FROM PORN

 

1) Atheists are immoral wretches who approve perversions such as incest.

2) Just look at porn.

3) Don't you watch Howard Stern? All porn stars are atheists!

4) You bunch of perverts. Repent!

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

455. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL EMPLOYMENT

 

1) The other day I was praying about what kind of job I should take.

2) Then I picked up the paper and read an article that mentioned the name of a

popular donut shop. For some reason I felt "led" to go apply there. When I

arrived, I felt a bit uneasy, but then I noticed one car parked out front --

the 3 letters on the license plate were my exact initials in order. And the

store van had the number 333 on it!

3) They weren't hiring, but therefore, God exists anyway.

 

 

456. ARGUMENT FROM GILDA RADNER

 

1) What's all this fuss I hear about whether God exits?

2) Well of course he does!

3) If I'm going to go somewhere else, I have to exit this room.

4) And God's been everywhere, so he must have done a lot of exiting.

5) Therefore, God exits.

6) [told that debate is whether God exists.]

7) Oh. That's different. Never mind.

 

 

457. ARGUMENT FROM MATHEMATICIANS

 

1) We humans are living beings, and thus biological.

2) Biology is based on biochemistry.

3) All biochemistry is chemistry.

4) Chemistry is based on physics.

5) Physics is based on mathematics.

6) Therefore, everything is mathematical, including us.

7) Polls show that, of all scientists, mathematicians are most likely to

believe in God.

8) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

458. ARGUMENT FROM PENIS ENLARGEMENT

 

1) I became a born-again Christian when I was 12.

2) Since then, my penis has grown about 2 inches.

3) Hence, belief in God enlarges your penis.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

459. ARGUMENT FROM CONSEQUENCES OF THE ABSURD (THE MOST IRREFUTABLE ARGUMENT)

 

1) Suppose God didn't exist.

2) Then he wouldn't have made the universe.

3) And he wouldn't have spread his word.

4) And he wouldn't have sent his own son to sacrifice himself for mankind.

5) But the universe does exist.

6) And the Bible is spread all over the world.

7) And Jesus did die.

8) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

460. VANDERZYDEN'S ARGUMENT FROM SECRET KNOWLEDGE

 

1) There is overwhelming evidence for the existence of God.

2) No, I'm not going to tell you what it is.

3) The only possible explanation for your lack of knowledge is that you haven't

studied enough.

4) Or maybe your atheistic presupposition is blinding you to the truth.

5) But trust me -- it's overwhelming.

6) It's so overwhelming that no reasonable person can honestly reach the

conclusion that God does not exist.

7) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

461. ARGUMENT FROM OSAMA

 

1) If Osama bin Laden were saved by God, then you would see the effects of God

on him.

2) But he hasn't gotten saved by God.

3) But just pretend he has.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

462. ARGUMENT FROM ENGINEERING

 

1) I'm an engineer.

2) If I applied the same logic to my engineering work as I do to my rationale

for God's existence, then the things I engineer would fall apart.

3) Somehow, I am still employed as an engineer.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

463. GEMMA THERESE'S ARGUMENT FROM THE WONDERFUL NATURE OF MONKS AND NUNS

 

1) I have met many nuns who seem to be gentle, sweet women living for Christ.

2) Some of these nuns have dementia.

3) Others are of sound mind, but must watch and understand what is happening as

the minds of those with dementia are slowly destroyed.

4) Despite these awful things, they have total trust in God and dedication to

him.

5) I sat with one once who said, "I was just thinking about how good God has

been to us."

6) Even the ones who have dementia, etc. remember their prayers.

7) It cannot possibly be that the nuns with worse characters are kept away from

the volunteers.

8) Nor can it possibly be that nuns with severe dementia who no longer remember

their prayers are kept away from the volunteers.

9) All monks and nuns simply must be as wonderful as those I know."

10) By contrast, atheists are arrogant people who refuse to shut themselves

away uselessly in cloisters singing praise to atheism.

11) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

464. ARGUMENT FROM IRS DIFFICULTY

 

1) The IRS fucking sucks.

2) Mr. Kent Hovind is busy making them chase their tails!

3) So what if half of America likes to waste their time?

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

465. ARGUMENT FROM IMPERFECT REPETITION

 

1) God God God God God God God God God God God God Jesus God God God God God

God God God God Lord and Savior God God God God God God God God God Hell God

God God God God God God God God God God God God God Eternal Paradise God God

God God God God God God God God God God God God God God!

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

466. ARGUMENT FROM NOAH'S ARK

 

1) They found a boat on a mountain somewhere.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

467. ARGUMENT FROM SCHIZOPHRENIA

 

1) I hear voices in my head.

2) The voices say they are God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

468. ARGUMENT FROM WORDS I MADE UP

 

1) (insert religious rant)

2) Dr. Heckle and Mr. Jeckle.

3) You see I create words, why can't God create the universe?

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

469. ARGUMENT FROM SALAD BAR

 

1) I only believe in the parts of the Bible that I want to believe.

2) The parts I believe are logical and make sense.

3) Therefore, the Bible is logical and makes sense.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

470. SILENT DAVE'S ARGUMENT

 

1) Chicken Girl.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

471. CHICKEN GIRL'S ARGUMENT

 

1) Silent Dave.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

472. ARGUMENT FROM SKEWED ASSUMPTIONS

 

1) You're an atheist? But you're so nice!

2) I just assumed you were a Christian.

3) The niceness must be the light of God shining in you, whether you know it or

not.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

473. ARGUMENT FROM ANGER

 

1) Jesus came to bring peace, and there's not a word in the Bible that says

otherwise.

2) [atheist quotes the "I came not to bring peace but a sword" part]

3) You sound angry when you say that. Why are you so angry?

4) You're angry at God, aren't you?

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

474. ARGUMENT FROM THAT TREE STANDING RIGHT OVER THERE

 

1) People can agree on certain things, right?

2) For example, we can agree that there is a tree standing right over there.

3) We don't spend a lot of time arguing about the existence of the tree,

because it's so self-evident.

4) God's existence is similarly self-evident.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

475. ARGUMENT FROM CERTAIN KNOWLEDGE OF OBJECTIVE MORALS

 

1) Every culture thinks murder is bad.

2) They do so!

3) And God forbids murder.

4) And every culture thinks incest is bad, and God forbids incest.

5) It does so!

6) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

476. ARGUMENT FROM NERVOUS SCIENTISTS

 

1) Scientists working on evolution are beginning to realize that it's a failed

theory.

2) They are so! They're just too nervous to admit their mistake, because

they've led all those souls to Hell.

3) Why would they be nervous if God didn't exist?

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

477. ARGUMENT FROM EMINEM

 

1) I like Eminem's music.

2) He's using it to spread good to the world.

3) One day, everyone who listens to his music will realize he's singing about

stupid things to keep people from doing them.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

478. ARGUMENT FROM THIS WONDERFUL HISTORIAN

 

1) There's this wonderful historian!

2) His academic credentials are NEVER doubted by like-minded Christians!

3) Now, this historian has proved conclusively, to his own satisfaction and to

the satisfaction of like-minded Christians, that the Bible must be totally true.

4) Therefore, both the Old Testament and the New Testament have been proven

true.

5) I hear the skeptic ask: If this his historically true, why do so many

historians doubt the reliability of the Bible?

6) The answer is, there is a conspiracy among the unfaithful to prevent this

proof of Christianity being known.

7) Naturally, the conspiracy must include powerful people like President Bush,

or it could not succeed.

8) Doubt not, O unbeliever, only have FAITH!

9) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

479. CHRISTMAS ARGUMENT

 

1) How can you doubt Christianity now, at this most special and most Holy time

of the year?

2) Today, oh unbeliever, surely you must fall down in adoration when you

consider how God sent his only son to redeem all mankind from Hell!

3) Today, oh unbeliever, surely you must fall down in adoration when you

consider how we are all God's children!

4) Today, oh unbeliever, surely you must remember how many will go to

perdition, as it says in the Holy Book of Revelation!

5) God in his infinite compassion does not want you to go to Hell, which He in

His infinite mercy created!

6) Cease your unbelief, and join in the wonder of Christmas!

7) Praise the Baby Jesus!

8) Praise the Baby Jesus!

9) Praise the Baby Jesus!

10) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

480. ARGUMENT FROM PROBABLE PROOF

 

1) God exists.

2) Can I prove it? Probably.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

481. ARGUMENT FROM EGO

 

1) God is what the universe revolves around.

2) The universe revolves around me.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

482. ARGUMENT FROM FLUFFY CATS IN SUNLIGHT

 

1) A cat basking in sunlight smells good.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

483. ARGUMENT FROM LEGOLAS (TEENAGED GIRL'S ARGUMENT)

 

1)

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

484. ARGUMENT FROM OVERSTRESSED TEACHING ASSISTANTS

 

1) I have to write two papers and grade a hundred.

2) There's no possible way I can get all of this work done!

3) [16-hour working frezny]

4) I got it all done! God must have helped me!

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

485. ARGUMENT FROM TA PRAYING OVER PACKED LUNCH

 

1) O Lord, bless this Lunchable, and let it not be all moldy like the last one.

2) [gingerly peek]

3) It's not moldy! Praise the Lord!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

486. ARGUMENT FROM NOTHING

 

1) Nothing comes from nothing.

2) God is not nothing.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

487. ARGUMENT FROM DESCARTES BASTARDIZES PART DEUX

 

1) I don't think.

2) Therefore, God is.

 

 

488. ARGUMENT FROM SALEM WITCH TRIALS

 

1) The Bible says, "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."

2) So we killed them.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

489. ARGUMENT FROM "FIELD OF DREAMS"

 

1) He built it.

2) They came.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

490. ARGUMENT FROM GEORGE MICHAEL

 

1) George Michael says you got to have a' faith, a' faith, a' faith.

1) I have faith.

1) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

491. ARGUMENT FROM COMPLEXITY

 

1) The human body is too complex to have happened by chance.

2) So it must have been designed.

3) [atheist: Well, wouldn't God be even more complex? So does he have a

designer?]

4) See argument 490.

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

492. ARGUMENT FROM CHER

 

1) Do you believe in life after love?

2) I can feel something inside me say

3) That something must be God.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

493. ARGUMENT FROM LIGHT SWITCH

 

1) My husband slowly died of cancer.

2) But the light switch in the cellar somehow started working properly again,

and to my knowledge my husband hadn't fixed it before he died.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

494. ARGUMENT FROM INTUITION

 

1) We feel certain things to be right or wrong.

2) The reason we feel wrong over certain things is because of our intuition,

a.k.a. our conscience.

3) I'll just ignore the resemblance of intuition with our thoughts, emotions,

and animal instinct. Or our childhood indoctrination by our culture.

4) Intuition is so special! It must be given by God!

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

495. ARGUMENT FROM EVIL ATHEIST BOARD

 

1) Look at this board. People are so cynical, sarcastic, abusive, hateful, etc.

2) On the other hand, Christian boards are always gentle, nice, supportive,

considerate, etc.

3) I'll just ignore all the censorship rules in Christian boards, and also my

own attitude.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

496. YGUY'S ARGUMENT

 

1) What is the root of all knowledge?

2) A six-year-old can answer this, while you smart-ass atheists can't.

3) No, it's not Sesame Street.

4) It's the phrase "I don't know."

5) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

497. ARGUMENT FROM SPORTS VICTORY

 

1) My team won.

2) They got their talent from God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

498. ARGUMENT FROM BATHROOM

 

1) I have to pee.

2) Our bodies are perfectly designed so that we can do this.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

499. ARGUMENT FROM POSSIBILITY

 

1) Without theists, all Gods are possible.

2) Without atheists, all Gods are possible.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

500. 7THANGEL'S ARGUMENT (CONDENSED)

 

1) Is are five when lemon fell purple left thinks acrophobe sticks.

2) For sharp king jigsaw white roll quick double; quality bunny done press

highly.

3) Therefore, God exists, and it all makes sense.

 

 

501. ARGUMENT FROM INDIA (ASYMMETRIC)

 

1) Mother Theresa's compassion and voluntary poverty prove that her

Christianity is the true religion.

2) No, Gandhi's compassion and voluntary poverty do NOT prove that his Hinduism

is the true religion.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

502. ARGUMENT FROM PLAYGROUND SOCIAL DYNAMICS

 

1) The public schools system is overwhelmingly populated by Christian kids.

2) If you raise your kid an atheist, he will get beaten up a lot.

3) No, this is NOT a reason to be angry at Christians. It is a reason to become

one.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

503. ARGUMENT FROM BLATANT CHEATING

 

1) The following statement is true.

2) The preceding statement is false.

3) While you're puzzling that one out, I'm going to run around and tell

everyone that you said God exists!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

504. DR. LAURA'S ARGUMENT.

 

1) God either exists or doesn't exist.

2) How can God not exist?

3) Whore.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

505. ARGUMENT FROM A BILLION DOLLARS

 

1) If someone you didn't like opened a bank account with a billion dollars in

it, and put it in your name, you would not believe him and you would lose your

billion dollar gift.

2) This is like me telling you about the gift of God's love. It's a gift that

you have, you just don't believe it.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

506. ARGUMENT FROM RESPECT

 

1) You have to respect my right to believe that God exists.

2) You also have to respect my right to believe that I don't have to respect

your right to believe that God doesn't exist.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

507. ARGUMENT FROM TIME TRAVEL

 

1) If time machines existed, then you could go back in history and change

events.

2) God can do that.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

508. ARGUMENT FROM SELF-EVIDENCE

 

1) God is self-evident.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

509. ARGUMENT FROM ROCKET SCIENCE

 

1) [atheist spends hours trying to argue the nonexistence of God,

unsuccessfully]

2) atheist: Look, this isn't rocket science!

3) Christian: Yes, but rocket science is!

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

510. ARGUMENT FROM STUPID BUMPER STICKER

 

1) Real men love Jesus.

2) God made real men.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

511. ARGUMENT FROM GOOGLE

 

1) Google indexes about 44 million pages containing the keyword "God."

2) So many websites can't be wrong!

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

512. ARGUMENT FROM THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

 

1) You know how a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a hurricane on the

other side of the world?

2) Well, surely another mundane event must have caused God's existence by now!

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

513. ARGUMENT FROM MARTIAL KNOWLEDGE / ARGUMENT FROM "THE MATRIX" (II)

 

1) I know kung fu.

2) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

514. ARGUMENT FROM THE PEOPLE

 

1) All comrades are invited to express their opinion on God's existence in a

democratic referendum.

2) Any comrade who votes "No" will be tortured, mutilated, and shot.

3) Therefore, Comrade God exists.

 

 

515. META-ARGUMENT (II)

 

1) I think we've spent too much time discussing whether God exists or not.

2) We should now discuss whether or not we should discuss whether God exists or

not.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

516. ARGUMENT FROM THE ROLLING STONES

 

1) You can't always get what you want.

2) If you try sometimes, you get what you need.

3) I need God to exist.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

517. BOB GREEN'S ARGUMENT FROM THE AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM

 

1) God is the giver and sustainer of life. Only he can create a person's life

force, and only he can take it away.

2) Humans cannot will their own deaths just by thinking about it, as Jesus did

after he was scourged, crucified, and stabbed in the side with a lance,

although he could have survived if he wanted to, because he is God.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

518. THE X-FILES ARGUMENT

 

1) The truth is out there.

2) God is the truth.

3) Ergo, God is out there.

4) Therefore, God exists.

 

 

519. ARGUMENT FROM JUST MAYBE

 

1) A big-name scientist, somewhere, once admitted that it just might be

possible, perhaps, that one of the many pieces of evidence for evolution could,

maybe, if P<.05, be false.

2) Therefore, evolution is definitely false.

3) Therefore, God exists.

 

520. ULTIMATE PROOF

 

Since God exists, therefore God exists

---------------------------

 

Endret 9. september 2008 av Syvertsen

[RWS]

Det var et stykk LAAAAAANG liste...

500 punkter som støtter godt opp om at det MÅ finnes en gud....

 

Likte slutten jeg da, for den sier så mye...

Since God exists, therefore God exists

 

[Nidaroo]

Hvordan kan de som går her og sier det ikke finnes? Må da vel være folk som ikke har opplevd det enda, som ikke tror på det. Vel å merke ganske logisk, "man tror ikke det, før man får se det". Men er vel ikke noe ukjent myte at det går igjen folk her og der i feks, gamle hus.

 

Det er en slags energi som gjør at de går igjen elns, og med tanke på at enkelte tror det er snakk om fysisk gå igjen, kan troen både og være. Er nok kun en energi som utgjør kraften eller noe. Har selv opplevd i det gamle huset våres, at en stol plutselig har flyttet seg imens jeg satt ved siden av. Samt mye gåing oppe på loftet også faktisk at en eld gammel klokke begynte å gå igjen etter 7 års pause.

 

Nå må det også huskes på hvor mye DU selv er villig til å legge i dette nettopp for å få dette til å stemme også da...

 

Hvis du tar på andre briller, for å si det sånn, er det ikke sikkert at du hodestups ville dratt de samme konklusjonene... Og siden vi mennesker er eksperter på å se mønstre der det ikke er noe mønstre, og derved lure oss selv til å bygge opp med flere ting til vi faktisk TROR det vi ser, er jeg litt i tvil om folk FAKTISK ser det de påstår å ha sett.... Du vil bli forbløffet hvis du visste hvor god hjernen vår er til dette.... og sett på "spøkelser" ol med litt større skepsis du også....

 

At klokka begynte å gå igjen KAN være at den hang litt i mekanikken og en risting i gulvet fikk mekanikken i gang igjen. For skal du være ærlig med deg selv er det jo faktisk ikke en eneste grunn i verden til at "noe" skulle ha en grunn til å få dem klokka igang igjen, er det vel? Spør deg i såfall om hvorfor "det/noen/spøkelset" skulle gjøre det? Og i så fall, hvorfor kjøre igang en klokke? Hvorfor ikke reparere bilen din, male huset ditt eller lignende, Da hadde jeg blitt imponert ihvertfall! Men ei gammel klokke? Næææ, høres søkt ut...

Si ikke det, si ikke det. Mye av det kan være "innbille" seg ting og tang. Er vel noe som vi mennesker får lett til, som du selv sier. Men enkelte ting er faktisk stemte. Det med stolen har jeg opplevd et par ganger. Første gangen så reagerte jeg ikke noe spesielt på det. Så har jeg blitt mer observant på det, og har begynt å se nøye etter. Men så vil det ikke skje på kommando heller..

 

Det med klokken kan være tilfeldig i enkelte situasjoner. Men ikke her. Klokken er en gammel av slag, med pendel. Og har ikke fungert på evigheter. Den må trekkes, for at den skal gå rundt. Men det som skjedde den gangen var at pendelen plutselig begynte å gå et par ganger, også stoppet den av seg selv. Min far begynte å lure igrunn, med tanke på at han ikke kan huske om hvor mange år siden det er den har gått.

 

 

Min bestemor fortalte min mor for en stund tilbake om to personer som kom roende i en båt forbi huset her, som min bestemor er blitt oppvokst i. Da når den båten kom roende tilbake der hvor den kom ifra, så var det bare en person i båten. Det sies at han andre druknet på fjorden(dette er før min bestemors tid, så regelmessig gammelt).

Jeg selv har opplevd et par ganger nede ved stranda når jeg feks, en gang skulle ta et bilde utover fjorden. Så i det jeg tok bildet fikk jeg skjermbilde av et ansikt, som lignet på det ansiktet bestemor beskrev.

 

Av en eller annen grunn så tok jeg automatisk det bildet jeg skulle ta, også i det jeg skulle se bildet, forsvant ansiktet fra speilbildet på kameraet. Kunne ramset opp hundrede vis av sånne oppvakte situasjoner, men for ta flere i en senere anledning.

 

 

 

Men så sies det seg sånn at er man forberedt på noe så skjer det ikke noe. Er ikke en umønstret myte at det går igjen energi i flere hus over hele kloden.

[Jalla]

Nyere forskning viser at om en pumper full skeptikere med dopamin vil de straks bli mer åpne for "det spirituelle" og ting de generelt anser som bare tull. Og som bare er tull, for all del, hehe

"Troende" som får samme dose påvirkes ikke, det ser ut som det er et tak for mengden som trengs.

 

En annen gøy ting er at vi har naturlige cannabinoide reseptorer i hjernen, noe som også har interessante effekter.

 

Hør hele podcastet om dette og mer til her. Interessante saker og mye humor

Endret 9. september 2008 av Jalla

[Red Frostraven]

@Jalla

 

@Andre1983

Den er grei. Men grunnet mitt livssyn og overbevisning om at det er noe mer, så kan jeg ikke si meg enig. Og jeg synes egentlig det er litt skummelt å gå inn på de tankeveiene der. Grunnen? Vel, i nyhetene i dag har vi nok et tilfelle av en idiot som har holdt datteren sin innestengt og missbrukt henne. Vi har også en rekke drapssaker, og diverse andre grusomme saker. Dersom en drar det naturalistiske livssynet helt ut, ender man opp med nihilisme. Det denne faren gjorde, var ikke galt. Det var jo ikke en gang hans feil. Han kunne jo ikke noe for det. Valget om å gjøre det var jo forutbestemt. Med andre ord kan han verken straffes eller holdes skyldig for noe som helst. Samme med skyteepisodene på diverse skoler. Hadde verden vært fullstendig naturalistisk så tror jeg vi ville brydd oss like mye om slike episoder som et tre ville brydd seg om at nabotreet blåste ned. Men det gjør vi jo ikke...

 

Uansett, nå går vi kanskje en liten smule off topic. Så tror jeg stopper her. Har allerede sagt hva jeg mener om temaet i denne tråde

 

så...

 

Du foreslår at det tredje alternativet er likeverdig tilfeldighet -- ikke-levende valg som ikke krever at man lever for å utføres -- at en gud bestemmer for deg gjennom logikk ELLER tilfeldighet?

 

Da blir det bare enda verre enn om vi bare har tilfeldighet og logiske valg -- da er saken i Polen enda verre, da det kan være en GUD som fikk ham til å gjøre det.

 

a) Ikke forutbestemt tilfeldighet.

b) Forutbestemt subjektiv logikk.

c) Fortubestemt gudommelig inngripen / ikke forutbestemt tilfeldig gudommelig inngripen.

 

Drap.

Selv om det er forutbestemt kan det ikke aksepteres, og alle må gjøre alt de kan for å forhindre at det skjer.

De skyldig må stoppes for å 1) statuere et eksempel for å forhindre gjentagelse fra drapsmannen eller andre individer 2) rehabilitere/forandre drapsmannen til et produktivt medlem av samfunnet. (venstre-sidens samfunnspolitisk innstilling. Høyresidens er typisk åpen for fri vilje.)

 

Selv om alt som skjer er forutbestemt er nettopp NIHILISMEN viktig å unngå. Nihilister gjør ingenting for å forhindre grusomheter, fordi de tror det ikke spiller noen rolle.

Fordi de er nihilister skjer grusomheter, som ville vært stoppet dersom de ikke var nihilister.

Derfor er nihilisme viktig å bekjempe.

Alt som skjer må skje, men bygger man stein på stein får man til slutt et byggverk.

Man kan ikke sitte på rævva og tenke "det spiller ingen rolle om jeg bygger, for muren vil stå der om to år uansett".

For det gjør det ikke.

Du må bygge den først.

 

Man må arbeide for å oppnå goder, og det er ingen grunn til å ikke legge stein på stein fordi alt er forutbestemt -- livet er hva man gjør, og vår instilling er med på å bestemme hva vi gjør.

Endret 9. september 2008 av Andre1983