Vits

[kyllingvippen]

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the

local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my

husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very

embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.

I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will

motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a

good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing

this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the

ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the

hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.

Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is

your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards

Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.

Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not

notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few

motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her

husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore

him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that

goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half

and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

 

[Dr.X]

[kyllingvippen]

 

 

[Kebab GUD]

Kebab Gud vil nå gratulere vinneren av mest ubruklig tråd ..kyllingvippen !!!!

[Thlom]

Jeg vil nå si at dunk hodet i tastaturet er mer ubrukelig da, selv om jeg har svart i den.

[kyllingvippen]

Takk 8)

[AssKicR]

Jeg vil nå si at dunk hodet i tastaturet er mer ubrukelig da, selv om jeg har svart i den.

 

nei, denne er dessidert mer ubrukelig

[kyllingvippen]

Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over

and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off !"

"Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely.

"See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her

home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we

were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in

the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and

hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"

"Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender.

"Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the

customer went on.

"When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're

naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy

son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"

"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a

lousy mood."

"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me.

Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when

they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window.

And where does it land? My damned forehead!"

"Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender.

"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when

the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet

is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose

right on my head !"

The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what

REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw

that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!"

[EC]

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