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tom waits for alice

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To: Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster

From: Coxrid, IT director, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Re: My resignation

 

Headmaster:

 

I regret that I must resign my position, effective two weeks ago, at least. It is simply impossible under these conditions to create a modern, integrated, flexible IT architecture aligned with the school's educational mission and objectives.

 

Deployment of the OC-3 fiber backbone met insuperable difficulties, as you know, when the cabling crew was attacked repeatedly by Dementors. Cabling staff rarely are effervescent people in the best of times, and having their life force sucked through their faces by cloaked, shadowy horrors as they lay paralyzed in icy terror is a serious de-motivator.

 

I may say that your presumably jocular suggestion that the Cisco Certified Network Professional training be modified to include instruction in casting the Patronus Charm was not well received.

 

As you know, it was considered impractical to deploy CAT5 cable in most areas because of the prevalence of solid granite walls, floors and ceilings and your adamant refusal to consider installing drop-down ceilings -- not to mention the difficulties imposed by randomly moving staircases.

 

But attempts to deploy a wireless LAN have been frustrated by first-form students removing the antennas from the access points, in the conviction that these make superior wands. A conviction that proved immune to a very rigorous, indeed educational, outreach program by the school's able caretaker, Argus Filch.

 

Of course, this obstacle was dwarfed by the so-called magical-interference problem. Reluctantly, at your request, I did raise this issue in a series of phone calls with Cisco Technical Support.

 

It quickly became clear that magic was not an issue with which Cisco Tech Support was familiar, even when escalated to the highest level. I patiently explained that, of course it was not magical spells per se that were causing interference, but the transmission of the wizard's (or witch's) energy, via the wand, occasioned by the spells. This explanation was met, variously, by expressions of confusion and outright disbelief and not infrequently, by ridicule.

 

"This sounds like a spectrum-regulation issue for the FCC," said one Cisco employee, nearly choking in laughter at his own leaden attempt at humor.

 

A supervisor finally confirmed that Cisco had no plans to modify its radio-frequency management software to detect and compensate for magic, but that I could file a request for change through my Cisco account representative. In retrospect, I believe this, too, was intended as humor.

 

Even usually mundane issues proved burdensome. Just one example will suffice. One of the main wiring closets was to be the rarely used second-floor girls' bathroom, which when renovated would be an ideal location. Except, of course, for the ghost. Moaning Myrtle's initial flooding of the bathroom resulted in the loss of switches and associated equipment worth in excess of 18,000 galleons. Negotiations proved fruitless in the face of her unceasing moaning and crying, and the project was abandoned.

 

Also abandoned was a plan to create a wireless mesh network to cover the outlying Quidditch pitch, when beaters on both teams repeatedly used the mesh nodes as practice targets for their bludgers.

 

Despite all this, one could have persevered (IT professionals are uncommonly stubborn, which is often mistaken for thickheadness), but for the quite unexpected and even more stubborn resistance by Hogwarts faculty to the introduction of modern technology into the classroom.

 

I made a thorough and elaborate PowerPoint presentation on the benefits that an online learning management system would deliver for faculty and students (Professor Snape's contemptuous dismissal of it as the work of a "PowerPoint wizard" was uncalled for).

 

In vain did I describe how online courses could increase the school's revenue stream and achieve profitability goals; the greater flexibility, not to mention safety, of using 3-D online simulations of boggarts instead of the shape-shifters themselves; the desirability of an online potions catalog, cross-referenced with the Ministry of Magic's database of potential side effects; an interactive, voice-automated Parseltongue translation system; a Defense Against the Dark Arts curriculum based on next-generation gaming software; a digital library to replace the heavy, often musty tomes of incantations; and an information security infrastructure to block access by He Who Must Not Named.

 

Yet when Professor of Divination Sybill Trelawney said the proposed IT architecture was "insensitive to the Inner Eye," I realized my efforts were hopeless.

 

I have done all I can, Headmaster. I'm afraid that despite my best efforts, Hogwarts' IT communications infrastructure will remain dependent on owls, talking letters, the use of Floo powder and a fireplace network, and of course, divinations, dreams and visions.

 

I am returning (once the full moon is past) to the Muggle world of cellular data services and high-tech IPOs. They at least, appreciate the true magic of information technology.

 

Your obedient servant,

Coxrid

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L4r5

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“I want to have a baby.”

 

“What?” Mike looked at his girlfriend curled up next to him on the sofa.

 

“I want to have a baby, Mike. Don’t you?”

 

“Kate, we’ve been over this…”

 

“I don’t care. I don’t understand why you don’t want to have a kid!”

 

Mike groaned quietly. “I don’t want to have this fight now. We’re sitting here, talking about where we’re going to go for dinner, I suggest we try the Applebee’s they just opened up on Route 26 and you start talking about having a baby!”

 

Kate pouted. “Think of how great it would be! You love kids. I know you do.”

 

“I do, babe, I do, but they are so much work! You have to put in a lot of effort.”

 

“I have to put in a lot of effort? Just me?”

 

Mike groaned again, a bit louder. “You know what I meant. If we had a baby you know I’d help, but… I don’t know, come on, let’s just go out to dinner.”

 

Kate crossed her arms and squared her shoulders, huffing angrily.

 

“Aw, Kate! I’m just saying… look, do you know how much a kid costs? We don’t make a lot of money, you really think we could afford to have one? Really?”

 

“We could afford one. Kids don’t cost that much.”

 

Mike rolled his eyes. So much for a nice dinner out. There was no way he was going to win the argument. Now he was going to have to spend the next couple hours making a baby. Great.

 

“Fine. We’ll have a kid.”

 

Kate squealed with delight. “I’ll go to the store and pick one out! You get the marinade ready, ok?” She kissed him and then grabbed her keys and dashed out of the apartment, singing happily. Mike grumbled and set the oven to preheat. This was worse than when she discovered lobster for the first time.

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Gjest Slettet-77do0b

Gjest Slettet-77do0b

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Men hvordan kan Humlesnurr motta det her?

 

 

Han er jo død!

 

Ja takk dama måtte røpe akkurat det der for en stund siden. Hu trodde jeg visste det faktisk.

Hvordan i all verden kunne man tilfeldigvis vite noe slikt :roll:

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Sondre

Sondre

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“I want to have a baby.”

 

“What?” Mike looked at his girlfriend curled up next to him on the sofa.

 

“I want to have a baby, Mike. Don’t you?”

 

“Kate, we’ve been over this…”

 

“I don’t care. I don’t understand why you don’t want to have a kid!”

 

Mike groaned quietly. “I don’t want to have this fight now. We’re sitting here, talking about where we’re going to go for dinner, I suggest we try the Applebee’s they just opened up on Route 26 and you start talking about having a baby!”

 

Kate pouted. “Think of how great it would be! You love kids. I know you do.”

 

“I do, babe, I do, but they are so much work! You have to put in a lot of effort.”

 

“I have to put in a lot of effort? Just me?”

 

Mike groaned again, a bit louder. “You know what I meant. If we had a baby you know I’d help, but… I don’t know, come on, let’s just go out to dinner.”

 

Kate crossed her arms and squared her shoulders, huffing angrily.

 

“Aw, Kate! I’m just saying… look, do you know how much a kid costs? We don’t make a lot of money, you really think we could afford to have one? Really?”

 

“We could afford one. Kids don’t cost that much.”

 

Mike rolled his eyes. So much for a nice dinner out. There was no way he was going to win the argument. Now he was going to have to spend the next couple hours making a baby. Great.

 

“Fine. We’ll have a kid.”

 

Kate squealed with delight. “I’ll go to the store and pick one out! You get the marinade ready, ok?” She kissed him and then grabbed her keys and dashed out of the apartment, singing happily. Mike grumbled and set the oven to preheat. This was worse than when she discovered lobster for the first time.

 

Den var litt nasty.

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Gjest Slettet-77do0b

Gjest Slettet-77do0b

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Når du sender Harry Potter-humor til folk på mail, regner de vel med du har lest bøkene og er en fan sånn som dem, sikkert.

 

Høh? Til meg den var?

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Gjest Slettet-77do0b

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Ja, du sier hvordan i allverden kan man vite at humlesnurr var død sånn helt tilfeldig..

men det er jo ikke tilfeldig hvis du er potter-fan osv..

 

Men nå regner jeg med at dama mi kjenner meg såpass at hu vet nettopp dette da. Hele avsløringen var en tilfeldighet.

Jeg mente ikke at det var Lakus som røpte det. ;)

 

Over til annet:

Husker forresten jeg hadde laga ei hylle i 10-klasse hvor læreren sa følgende ord som kommer til å huskes så lenge jeg lever; "Det er en 6-er, men du skal få en 5-er." Det hadde vært den første 6-ern jeg noengang hadde fått. Har fått noen etter den tid, men da svei den godt :p

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