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tom waits for alice

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Uff, de 4chan-historiene er så latterligt geniale. Likte godt den "historien" om han som lo av faren som falt ned trappen, og ble banket opp. :p

 

*edit*

 

 

I WAS CHILLIN IN THE KITCHEN, MAKING A SANDWICH WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN I HEARD TREMENDOUS NOISE COMING DOWN THE STAIRS. MY DAD FELL DOWN THE WHOLE FLIGHT AND WHEN HE FINALLY REACHED THE FLOOR HE TOOK A DEEP BREATH AND EXCLAIMED "AW BALLS!" I LOL'D HARD AND ASKED "HEY DAD, HAVE A NICE TRIP?" TRYING TO HIDE MY LOL

 

HE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME

 

I MEAN HE SERIOUSLY BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF ME

 

WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE.

 

I'M STILL COVERED IN BLOOD AND SHAKING VIOLENTLY. THE DOOR'S LOCKED BUT...OH MY FUCKING GOD.

 

OH

 

MY

 

FUCKING

 

GOD

 

HE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS THOUGH LOL

 

----

 

SO GET THIS. IM DOING MY SHIT WORKING HARD, RIGHT? WHEN I FALL DOWN THE STAIRS. IT HURT LIKE A BITCH SO WHEN I GOT TO THE BOTTOM I SCREAMED AW BALLS.

 

THEM MY LITTLE **** KID SAYS THE SMARTEST SHIT EVER: HAVE A NICE TRIP DAD?

 

I BEAT THE BITCH WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE.

 

STUPID SHIT MAKING FUN OF MY FALLING.

 

 

I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS IT HURT SO MUCH AND HE'S GOING TO LAUGH? HE CANT LAUGH NOW.

 

---

 

SO I WAS JUST BEING KITCHEN LETTING PEOPLE MAKE FOOD IN ME AND SHIT LIKE I ALWAYS DO RIGHT? WHEN SOME **** KID'S DAD FALLS DOWN MY BUDDY STAIRS LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH HE IS.

 

I HEARD HIM SCREAM AW BALLS, AND I LAUGHED LIKE ONE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER.

 

THEN FOR SOME REASON HE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIS KID. NOW HE CANT HAVE ANYTHING IN ME UNLESS IT COMES IN A STRAW!

 

--

 

SO IM THIS FINE ASS MOTHERFUCKING SANDWICH THIS KID WAS MAKING AND THE LITTLE SHIT STOPS HALFWAY THROUGH MAKING ME WHEN HIS DAD FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS.

 

HIS DAD SAYS AW BALLS WHEN HE HITS THE BOTTOM AND THIS LITTLE FUCK ASKS IF HE HAD A NICE FALL.

 

HE FUCKED THAT KID UP MAN, I MEAN NEARLY KILLED HIM. I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF, BUT THE KID CAN'T EVEN FUCKING EAT ME NOW.

 

FUCK

 

----

 

I WAS JUST HANDING AROUND BEING GRAVITY AND KEEPING THINGS ON THIS FUCKING PLANET WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SOME FAT FUCK DECIDES TO TRY AND FLY TO THE BOTTOM OF HIS STAIRS.

 

FUCKER HAD SOME SERIOUS MOMENTUM AND IT TOOK ME A TON OF FUCKING STRENGTH TO PUSH HIM BACK DOWN TO EARTH. WHEN I FINALLY GOT HIM HEADED BACK DOWN HE ROLLS DOWN THE ENTIRE FLIGHT OF STAIRS

 

BUT THATS NOT ALL...

 

THE FUCKER JUST SCREAMS OUT "AW BALLS" REALLY LOUD, THEN HIS DUMBASS KID COMES UP AND IS LIKE, "HAVE A NICE TRIP" SO THE FUCKER GETS UP AND BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF HIS SON.

 

---

 

SO I'M BUST JUST CHILLING AND BEING A PAIR OF BALLS, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SOME GUY FALLS DOWN SOME STAIRS AND CALLS MY NAME

 

SO I'M ALL LIKE "WHAT?" BUT BEFORE HE SAID ANYTHING, HIS SON SAYS SOME SMARTASS COMMENT, AND THEN GETS THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF HIM, AND I NEVER FOUND OUT WHAT THAT DAD WANTED FROM THIS HUMBLE PAIR OF BALLS

 

---

 

SO I WAS IN THIS KID, BEING SOME FUCKING SHIT, WHEN I HEAR A NOISE OUTSIDE. THE FIRST THING I HEAR IS A THUD AND THEN "AWW BALLS." THE KID I'M IN MADE SOME STUPID COMMENT WHEN THE NEXT THING I KNOW I'M OUT OF THE KID THAT I'M IN.

 

NOW I'M HOMELESS.

 

---

 

SO I WAS A TUFT OF AIR MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS

 

WHEN THIS ASSHOLE COMES FLYING DOWN THEM. HE HITS THE BOTTOM, SUCKS ME IN AND SCREAMS "AW BALLS!"

 

HIS DICKWAD TAPESTRY OF FAILED GENETICS YELLS "HAVE A NICE TRIP DAD?"

 

AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW HE'S BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIS SON

 

 

NB: Mye tekst. :p

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