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tom waits for alice

Av tom waits for alice
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Daniel

Daniel

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Still alive.

 

Fun times:

 

There was a bus conductor, and he was good at his job.

He worked at it for a long time, and after several years of this, he ended up dissatisfied.

One day, he went into work, and the first person who asked him for money had 3 screaming children. They just wouldn't shut up, no matter what he did.

The next person didn't have change, and had to break a £20. By this point the Conductor was just fuming.

"One more person pisses me off today," he says "and I swear I'm going to slaughter the whole damn bus!"

Sure enough, the next person who he asks didn't have any money at all. He flipped, pulled out a machete, and killed everyone on board.

He was taken away, and the Judge, appalled by the severity of his crime, issues the Death Sentence.

So he lives in Death Row for a few years before finally being led to the Electric Chair.

The executioner asked him what he wanted for his last meal. "A green banana" says the man. So the executioner hands him a green banana. He very deliberately eats it, before being led away.

He straps him into the machine, and turns the electricity on. After a minute, they shut the machine down. The man is sitting there, completely unharmed. "Hmm... maybe the machine's on the blink. We'll try again tomorrow."

So the next day, they try again, and again ask him what he wants as his last meal. Again, the man asks for a green banana. One again, he eats it, they strap him in, and again, leaving it on for a minute, the man is there, completely unharmed.

This follows on for the next week, each time the man eating a green banana, then the electrocution failing.

Eventually they decide they're going to have to try the lethal injection.

This is going to be a different executioner, so the first executioner says to the man "can I just ask you one thing?"

"Sure" says the doomed man.

"What's your secret? What is it about the bananas that makes you invulnerable to electrocution?"

"Nothing," says the man "I'm just a bad conductor!"

 

 

Er det fysikk og matematikk du går på?

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Videoannonse

Videoannonse
Annonse
Daniel

Daniel

Skrevet
Skrevet
Still alive.
Bra! :D har du flere phuns?

Dude, I haf liek ten mores! For instance:

A chemist, a physicist and a biologist are walking along the beach. The physicist stops, looks out at the ocean and says "I just have to understand the motion of the waves better" and walks into the sea and never returns. The biologist looks out to the sea and says "I just have to understand the sea creatures better" and walks out into the ocean and never returns. The chemist pulls out a notebook and writes "Physicist and biologist both soluble."
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Eplefe

Eplefe

Skrevet
Skrevet

The Evolution Of Math Teaching

 

1960s: A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price. What is his profit?

1970s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price, that is, $8. What is his profit?

1970s (new math): A farmer exchanges a set P of potatoes with set M of money. The cardinality of the set M is equal to 10, and each element of M is worth $1. Draw ten big dots representing the elements of M. The set C of production costs is composed of two big dots less than the set M. Represent C as a subset of M and give the answer to the question: What is the cardinality of the set of profits?

1980s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8, and his profit is $2. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss with your classmates.

1990s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His or her production costs are 0.80 of his or her revenue. On your calculator, graph revenue vs. costs. Run the POTATO program to determine the profit. Discuss the result with students in your group. Write a brief essay that analyzes this example in the real world of economics.

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Datasmurf

Datasmurf

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Skrevet (endret)

Bah, gruppa mi er så lazy at halvparten er nok.

Jeg er den eneste som har gjort noe.

 

Jeg kommer til å måtte gjøre hele greia selv ><

 

edit:

 

Underpants, du vet hva å kjede seg er, sant?

Eller kanskje du ikke helt fikk med deg at jeg kjedet meg i noen av timene på vgs.

 

Stort sett nat.fag, nyere historie og muntlig engelsk.

Men dette skjedde i fortiden, right?

Fortiden og fortiden.

Både i 2002, 2003, 2006 og 2007.

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Skagen

Skagen

Skrevet
Skrevet (endret)

Den setningen som kan inneholde flest antall "og" på rad uten at setningen er ugyldig på noe vis:

 

Det var en butikkeier som bestilte et nytt skilt for butikken sin "Hansen og sønn". Men da han fikk skiltet var avstanden mellom ordene for liten, og han skrev han følgende brev til skiltmakeren:

 

"Det er for kort avstand mellom Hansen og og, og og og sønn."

Endret av Skagen
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