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tom waits for alice

Av tom waits for alice
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Videoannonse

Videoannonse
Annonse
Freedom1

Freedom1

Skrevet
Skrevet
Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?

"Yes, well, I am having a trouble with WrodPerfect."

What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of the sudden the words went away."

Went away?

"They disappeared"

Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?

"Nothing."

Nothing?

"It's blank; it won't except anything when I type."

Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?

"How do I tell?"

Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?

"What's a sea-prompt?"

Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't except anything I type.

Does your monitor have a power indicator?

"What's a monitor?"

It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?

"I don't know"

Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?

"Yes, I think so"

Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

".......Yes, it is"

When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?

"No."

Well there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.

".........Okay, here it is."

Follow it for me, and tell me if it;s plugged securely into the back of your computer.

"I can't reach."

Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?

"NO."

Even if you maybe put your knee on something to lean way over?

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

Dark?

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Well, turn on the office light then.

"I can't."

NO? Why not?

"Because there's a power outage"

A power ... A power outage? Aha, ok, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Good, Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.

"Really? Is it that bad?"

Yes, I am afraid it is

"Well, alright then, I suppose. What do I tell them?

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer

:lol:

 

Her er noen flere for interesserte:

 

User's new notebook PC has a wireless network card. He loves it - for a day or so, until the battery goes dead. "Did you plug it into a power outlet to charge it?" asks systems administrator. "No," says sales guy impatiently. "It's wireless, why would I?"
User's PC hard drive is damaged, but support tech manages to recover the files in key directories and copies them to a new drive. Still, user is furious: "Where the @#$%! are all my files?" “Where were the files that are missing now?” technician asks. "I used to save them in that cute can. I use those files a lot, and that icon says 'Recycle,' so I thought it was a good place to put the files that I reuse often."
New user calls support staff early one morning, complaining that his computer won't power up even though everything is plugged in just as it was the night before. Tech walks down to check it out, finds the user pressing the power button on his empty laptop docking station. Tech asks: "Where's the laptop?" User: "I left that at home. Do I need that to get on my computer here?"
New employee complains to help desk that there's something wrong with her password. No, it's not CAPS lock. "The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," says user. Those asterisks are to protect you, tech explains, so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password. "Yeah," user says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."
Helpdesk: "What kind of computer do you have?" "A white one."
Customer: "Hi, this is Rose. I can't get my diskette out." Helpdesk: "Have you tried pushing the button?" Customer: "Yes, sure, it's really stuck." Helpdesk: "That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note." Customer: "No. Wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet. It’s still on my desk. Sorry."
Helpdesk: "Good day. How may I help you?" Male customer: "Hello, I can't print." Helpdesk: "Would you click on start for me." Customer: "Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, you know!"
Customer: "Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it."
Customer: "My keyboard is not working anymore." Helpdesk: "Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?" Customer: "No. I can't get behind the computer." Helpdesk: "Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back." Customer: "Okay." Helpdesk: "Did the keyboard come with you?" Customer: "Yes." Helpdesk: "That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?" Customer: "Yes, there's another one here. Ah, that one works!"
Customer: "I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!"
No more floppy disks from home, Systems Administrator tells user whose PC keeps getting re-infected with viruses. A week goes by with no problems - then user's machine is infected again. Yes, she used a disk from home, user admits. "But I let the diskette sit on my desk for a whole week. Who knew that the virus could live that long?"
True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?" Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, at a trade show?" Caller: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

 

 

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