Historie for de som kjenner DotA.

[GrandMa]

Først må jeg bare si at det ikke er jeg som har skrevet denne. Jeg poster den her kun ettersom jeg synes den er utrolig genial.

 

For det andre vet jeg ikke om det er noen vits å lese denne om du ikke har spilt litt DotA (Defence of the Ancients, Warcraft 3 custom-map) eller hvertfall vet litt om spillet. Virker kanskje som en smal målgruppe, men jeg synes den er så bra at det er verdt det.

 

På tross av dette kommer det her.

 

Okay, I've got a problem, I've got so much to say but I don't know where to start but..

 

Okay, so me and my girlfriend has been together for over 1 year now, we've got a strict relation, where we always do everything together, we cant see other people outside our relation.

Her parents are wealthy and my parents are the working-class, but we are doing okay.

And so this friday we went to a party, and since her dad is a friendly and giving man he said that we could borrow his toy-car, which was a BMW M5 worth an estimated $140.000.

This was a party where we would sleep over since we knew the owner of the party, and when we entered the house there were lots of girls (which my girlfriend had no idea of) and I asked her if she wanted to stay, and she told me that it was ok, but if I ever even looked at a girl, she'd get furious.

 

You can do the math, shes a VERY jealous type of girl and I knew that ever since the first day, but we decided to chill out and have some fun.

 

As the night approached fast, we had more and more to drink, and somehow I felt like I was watched by a few girls, one even "accidently" touched my "behind".

At that time, me and my girlfriend were apart, she was with her friends and I was with mine (that was ok, if we were in the same building, she said.)

 

Suddenly a friend told me that he was gonna do some new drinks called "minderasers".

And oh boy, believe me, they make up for the name.

I drank 2, because I couldn't get one more down, and I was starting to see blurr all over, I couldnt walk nor talk right, but I felt someone grabbing my arm and pulled me into a dark room.

I said: " Lisa ? "

And she replied "Yes..."

I somehow knew it wasnt her, but when I felt her soft hand down my pants, touching my crownjewels the way the real lisa always did I thought to myself

"ok, its lisa, she wanna have some fun.."

She started to kiss me and suddenly my pants fell down, and you can make up your own story about what happend.. needless to say it was NOT good when fake"Lisa" whispered in my ear "Im going to tell lisa, so you can kiss her goodbye", she opend the door and went away.

So there I was, I got drunk as fuck, I got a blowjob from someone I thought was my Girlfriend..

But how was I going to explain that?

I decided I needed to take a breath of air, so I went out in my girlfriends fathers BMW, which was a walk-distance away (like 2 minutes) and sat down.

Now...

For all my life, I've been the one saying "No, I don't want to taste anything with alcohol, because I'm the driver"

But somehow, I put the keys in and turned on the ignition thinking "I'll just take a little ride, noone will notice, I'm such a good driver anyway"

Since its an Automatic Transmission and I was seeing dubble, I accidently put the gear into reverse, instead of forwards.

Knowing its a BMW M5 with over 650Break horsepower I stepped on the gass slightly and the car flew away, right onto a 45cm big sidewalk.

Since cars aren't made to be driven into "walls" the car ofcourse got wrecked as hell.

Knowing I just destroyed a $140.000 dollar car my adrenaline started to pump to the max, and I decided to go back in, put the keys in someones pocket and blame the accident on him / her.

 

Luckily, noone from the party had seen me (atleast thats what I thought), and I found a cape, where I put the keys in.

I went into the living room and took some more liqour, and tried to drink the pain away.

But the drinks didnt make the pain go away, the drinks just made me get even more silly.

My best friend came up to me asking for advice on this girl.. and I told him (a bit loud, because apparently everybody could hear):

"Schey duuude, yu knauw whatt? *hick* jut tell hre dat U want to FUCK her hard, and shlle nvere rgret it, cuz dats whut I deeeed to lisa *hick*

big blue lie ofcourse).

 

Luckily (again), lisa wasn't in that room, but I did see one of her few friends.

 

The clock got closer and closer to bedtime (which was about 04.00) and everybody had gone home, except from me and lisa and the owner of the house and his girlfriend.

We got out own room and when we went to bed lisa wanted to cuddle, because apparently the liqour did to her what I wanted it to do (as it does to many girls)

I was so nervous, that I didn't feel the tension, and therefore declined.

We slept, and slept and slept, only to be waken up with someone banging on the door.

I opend the door and the police was standing right infront of me with the hands above their postols, ordering me to lay on the ground.

I "gently" asked them why the flying fuck they are doing this, and they said that they had witnesses saying I wrecked a car, I stole stuffs in the house and apparently even hit people.

In the middle of all, my gf gets an SMS (I could her the SMS-tone), I saw her read it and her face turned Barbeque-red..

 

She yelld at me that it was over and she never wanted to see me again, the police has arrested me for drunk driving, wrecking a car worth a million SEK, abuse, stealing, voilet behavior amongst others...

I came to think about a defence of the ancients game I played where I was meepo facing lina.

Aghanim ulti and we were equal level.

 

SHE ONE SHOTTED ME WTF,

so to the my problem, should I repick geomancer in the future if someone in the opposite team has has lina?

 

I mean I love geomancer, and I never repick, but Lina is clearly overpowered...

 

HELP

 

Tror jeg lo i en time sammenhengende.

[Rampage]

Vel, når du sier at det er en "DotA" relatert vits. Så har du basicly ødelagt vrien på slutten for alle andre. Ta vekk det og presenter det som en vanlig historie heller du.

 

Det kunne forresten vært hvilket som helst spill og har sett mange andre utgaver av den. Så man trenger ikke skjønne DotA for å ta vitsen...

Endret 8. august 2007 av Rampage

[GrandMa]

Vel, når du sier at det er en "DotA" relatert vits. Så har du basicly ødelagt vrien på slutten for alle andre. Ta vekk det og presenter det som en vanlig historie heller du.

 

Det kunne forresten vært hvilket som helst spill og har sett mange andre utgaver av den. Så man trenger ikke skjønne DotA for å ta vitsen...

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Nei. Du må faktisk vite om særpregene til både Meepo og Lina for at denne vitsen skal være morsom ettersom det finnes en evig diskusjon om Meepos "kompetanse"

 

Jeg skjønner hva du mener, men det er virkelig ingen vits å lese den hvis ikke du skjønner slutten

[Rallahr]

Genialt :!:

[Chasseur]

I loled. And then I loled some more.

[Jan]

Innledningen ødela jo alt.

[AllanPallan]

Hadde vært morsommere uten innledningen, og du kan eventuelt skrive at det er DoTA UNDER historien.

[GrandMa]

Javel samme det. Gjort er gjort og for å være helt ærlig er det ikke så viktig for meg at jeg gidder å analysere den opp og ned.

 

Et par som synes historien var morsom og det synes jeg er supert

[Jan]

Hvorfor ikke endre den da? Så flere finner den artig?

[Kiwiboy]

Lag en ny tråd hvor du har gjort dine egne endreinger. Så kan du ha den i kvarter til Moderator kommer og sletter den.

Well done!

[GrandMa]

Hvorfor ikke endre den da? Så flere finner den artig?

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Fordi jeg ikke gidder. Og fordi jeg synes det fungerer best sånn.