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Ye Olde Pub (The English Pub)

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Ferchie

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Why would we do that chocolate cookie? ^^

 

I had the craziest dream yesterday. Or, it wasn't really a dream, just something i thought about before i fell asleep.

I want to write it down, but im not really sure.. It doesent make sence, but it actually made me fall asleep! :D

7614106[/snapback]

 

Well write it down, and let it make no sense to us then

7614162[/snapback]

Hmm. might as wel do so..

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Videoannonse

Videoannonse
Annonse
Kjekssjokolade

Kjekssjokolade

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Skrevet
Why would we do that chocolate cookie? ^^

 

I had the craziest dream yesterday. Or, it wasn't really a dream, just something i thought about before i fell asleep.

I want to write it down, but im not really sure.. It doesent make sence, but it actually made me fall asleep! :D

7614106[/snapback]

 

Well write it down, and let it make no sense to us then

7614162[/snapback]

Hmm. might as wel do so..

7614275[/snapback]

 

We are waiting then

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Ferchie

Ferchie

Skrevet
Skrevet (endret)

Its a loong story, so it might take some time..

Oh, and my english isn't that good, so if I decide to post it, please don't judge my english too much! :)

Bah, never mind.. It only makes sence in my mind! You have to visualize it to understand it..

Endret av Rasch
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Geir M

Geir M

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Skrevet (endret)
I want to hear your views about something I have been thinking of recently.

 

I am wondering, do you prefer books in norwegian or english? And why?

 

I find that books in english gives me much more vivid imaginary scenes. I'm of the opinion that books written in norwegian lacks the big words, the words that make lifelike images appear in my head. English written books generally moves me more than others.

To this day I have only read a couple of dozen books in norwegian, and the english books I have read, I can't even begin to sum up by the number.

For instance, I prefer reading intelligent books of science fiction. I can't imagine reading such books in my own laguage.

Am I alone in this, or do some of you agree?

7609436[/snapback]

Actually I agree with you on this subject. But unlike you, I don't feel that the biggest problem with reading norwegian books, are the lack of "the big words" to provide the lifelike images. I just think the language flow in english is far superior, in comparison to that of the norwegian language. When reading norwegian books I sometimes get annoyed by the lack of this good "flow". This usually doesn't happen when im reading english books, unless the language used by the author is seriously flawed, and that doesn't happen too often.

Endret av geir_er_1337
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Skogli

Skogli

Skrevet
Skrevet

Pregnant daughter

 

An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

 

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.

 

He sits in the living room with the father and the mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a £2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a £4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and £2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage I am not sure what I should do, what do you suggest I do?"

 

At this point, the girl's father who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You shag her again."

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EJN

EJN

Skrevet
Skrevet

I'd like to add my opinion to the discussion concerning books in English versus Norwegian, as I've thought rather much about it myself. My conclusion was (for the record, I am one of those who prefer reading books in English) that books in English in general are better/more involving to read than similar books in Norwegian because of the fact that the English language has more definite words than the Norwegian language. Many Norwegian words (e.g. å tro - "jeg tror på Gud/jeg tror det går bra", two sentences where in English it would be more appropriate to use different notions. "I believe in God/I think it'll be all right.) are used in many different contexts, while in English a lot of these words are context sensitive. Of course, there are examples to be found the other way around too, but English in general has a lot more words, and hence a lot more detailed words to make the language richer and more flowing.

 

It's worth to mention, though, the fact that just like the Norwegian language, certain parts of the language is deteriorating. In English, the gap between various context sensitive words isn't that big anymore, so you probably (and for linguists, sadly) won't get shot if you mix context sensitive words today.

 

So, to sum it all quickly up, I think one of the main reasons books in English often are more involving and inspiring to read is that the English language has got a lot more words to be used in very specific situations than Norwegian, making the text more varied, or richer if you like.

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Cheshire Cat

Cheshire Cat

Skrevet
Skrevet
*svush*

7628371[/snapback]

Not to mention that English grammar is way more easy than Norwegian (my personal opinion of course). I'm considering educating myself as a writer, until now I've wrote stories, short texts both in English and Norwegian. The only problem is the fact that my Norwegian vocablary is slightly larger than my English, so is my understanding of the language in general.

 

But then again I don't want to restrict me and my texts to Norwegians only ... can't trust the bloody translators to get it right ;)

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Kjekssjokolade

Kjekssjokolade

Skrevet
Skrevet
Did not find that funny :)

7624476[/snapback]

 

Why not ? I find that story very funny, but i dont suppose "Shag" is a common english word ? I`ve heard it before, but thats just in movies and so on, not ,offcourse, in a textbook.

7628656[/snapback]

 

Shag, is a naughty word... silly :roll:

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Its the same as fuck

 

Well, I did not find it funny, because everything was so obvious in a way

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Skogli

Skogli

Skrevet
Skrevet
But I did.  :!: Great story Skogli. Keep 'em coming.

7626877[/snapback]

Thank you. :)

 

Did not find that funny :)

7624476[/snapback]

 

Why not ? I find that story very funny, but i dont suppose "Shag" is a common english word ? I`ve heard it before, but thats just in movies and so on, not ,offcourse, in a textbook.

7628656[/snapback]

Shaq is a expression that the youth is using, I think.

(dialekt med norske ord)

 

 

Warning! Many long jokes. :)

Klikk for å se/fjerne innholdet nedenfor

One hell of a headache

 

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.

 

After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

 

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

 

When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

 

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

 

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

 

"It's my job."

 

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..."

 

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck" Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

 

"It's my job."

 

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure..."

 

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9-1/2... E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

 

"It's my job."

 

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure..."

 

The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see... 7-5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"

 

"It's my job."

 

The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure..." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

 

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

 

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

 

_____________________

 

Ice cream

 

The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?"

 

"Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.

 

"Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically.

 

"Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."

 

______________

 

In jail

 

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.

 

She put on her robe and went downstairs. There she found him, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

 

He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.

 

"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.

 

"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 15?" he asked.

 

"Yes, I do," she replied.

 

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

 

"Yes, I remember."

 

"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?'"

 

"Yes, I do," she said.

 

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,

"You know...I would have gotten out today."

 

_____________________

 

The government worker

 

A guy goes to the Government to interview for a job.

 

The interviewer asks him, "Are you a war veteran?"

 

The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam."

 

"Good," says the interviewer, "That counts in your favor. Do you have any service-related disabilities?"

 

The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion removed my private parts so they declared me disabled, it doesn't affect my ability to work, though."

 

"Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you, I can hire you right now! Our working hours are 8 to 4.

 

Come on in about 10, and we'll get you started."

 

The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come at 10?"

 

"Well, here at the government, we don't do anything but sit around and scratch our balls for the first two hours. No point of your coming in for that.

 

_____________

 

Mexican trick

 

An old mexican man lived alone in East Los Angeles. He wanted to spade his garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Jose, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

 

Dear Jose:

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my garden this year. I'm just too old to be digging up a garden. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the garden for me.

Tu Padre

 

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

 

Dear Papa!

Por Dios, Papa, don't dig up the garden. That's where I buried all my drugs and money.

Tu hijo,

Jose

 

At 6 a.m. the next morning, the L.A. Sheriffs showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any drugs or money. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.

 

Dear Papa!

Go ahead and plant your garden now, papa. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Jose

 

________________________

 

In the gunshop

 

Gun Shop Owner: Hi, How can I help you?

 

Client: I am looking for a gun.

 

Owner: What kind of gun are you looking for?

 

Client: That one looks about right.

 

Owner (very surprised): Why do you need a .44 magnum?

 

Client: It is for shooting at cans.

 

Owner: Well, this is the perfect size for shooting at cans.

 

Client: Nah, I need this one.

 

Owner: OK, what kind of cans are you shooting at?

 

Client: Mexi-cans... Puerto Ri-cans... Afri-cans...

 

 

__________________

 

 

By the way:For thous who struggle with English, I recommend Firefox 2.0, it have a spelling control. :)

 

- Skogli

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