Ye Olde Pub (The English Pub)

[Slimda]

The English Lesson

We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.

Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,

But the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

Why shouldn't the plural of pan be pen?

The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,

But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.

And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,

But I give a boot... would a pair be beet?

If one is a tooth, and a whole set is teeth,

Why shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?

If the singular is this, and the plural is these,

Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be kese?

Then one may be that, and three be those,

Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.

We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim.

So our English, I think you will agree,

Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

 

I take it you already know

of tough, and bough and cough and dough?

Others may stumble, but not you

on hiccough, through, slough and though.

Well done! And now you wish, perhaps

To learn of less familiar traps?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word

That looks like beard and sounds like bird.

And dead; it's said like bed, not bead!

For goodness sake, don't call it deed!

Watch out for meat and great and threat,

(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt)

A moth is not a moth in mother,

Nor both in bother, broth in brother.

And here is not a match for there,

Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,

And then there's dose and rose and lose –

Just look them up – and goose and choose,

And cork and work and card and ward

And font and front and word and sword.

And do and go, then thwart and cart.

Come, come, I've hardly made a start.

A dreadful language: Why, man alive,

I'd learned to talk when I was five.

And yet to write it, the more I sigh,

I'll not learn how 'til the day I die.

[2ball_]

Niceone.. now where tha futznigl did you find that?

[Getingar]

We were placed on this planet by alien people, the very same people that built the pyramids, the holy triangles of Takhar. These people are called Aylahe, they descended from dolphins. People are dolphins that by billions of years of genetic modification started living on land and then developed a more advanced brain. Aylahe located both dolphins and humans on this planet whose name is Eco, in the hope that we would be mates. It makes Aylahe great anger and it angers them to know that dolphins are not currently treated better. The Aztecs as well as the Greeks knew the truth about the dolphins. God - Aylahe-is a triangle. The three sides are the sacred elements. Ash, meat and water.

The meat element is used at communion. However, it is sacrilegeous to devour the body of Jesus. It is the fire that should consume it, and the ashes be spread by wind. The wine is poured into the sea or in the ground. These elements are the two Saints, they are nutrition and hydration. They are what makes life possible.

[Slimda]

Niceone.. now where tha futznigl did you find that?

If you really have to know, I received it as an email from my father. He has a tendency to send various humorous emails around to friends and family. You know, like all parents do when they discovery the internet besides the newspaper.

 

And Mr. Swede. What on earth are you writing about?

[jjkoggan]

We were placed on this planet by alien people, the very same people that built the pyramids, the holy triangles of Takhar. These people are called Aylahe, they descended from dolphins. People are dolphins that by billions of years of genetic modification started living on land and then developed a more advanced brain. Aylahe located both dolphins and humans on this planet whose name is Eco, in the hope that we would be mates. It makes Aylahe great anger and it angers them to know that dolphins are not currently treated better. The Aztecs as well as the Greeks knew the truth about the dolphins. God - Aylahe-is a triangle. The three sides are the sacred elements. Ash, meat and water.

The meat element is used at communion. However, it is sacrilegeous to devour the body of Jesus. It is the fire that should consume it, and the ashes be spread by wind. The wine is poured into the sea or in the ground. These elements are the two Saints, they are nutrition and hydration. They are what makes life possible.

 

 

Sounds like some medication is in order for someone.

[Ituca]

I will have an english test about around a week, and because I'am not write well, I decided to write something here to improve my language. At the same time I will use the opportunity to ask about grammar mistake at the end.

 

But now I'm going to tell a interesting story. A friend of my, who cames from China, pay for a horse sausage in the shop. He was new in the country. He had only been here two times before, and dosen't know the routine and culture. As a note, horse sausage is usual to eat in China. When I come from school, I saw him fry the horse sausage in the stove. It's stink, and I was really shocked: A horse sausage in a pan! Horse meet is obviously not good to eat. I can't advise that to nobody, even though I never have eat or touch it.

 

The point was he dosen't had saw the different between horse sausage and a normal sausage. He had thought that a horse meet had an brilliant quality, which it has in China. It can't impossible cross his mine that horse sausage is for dogs and cats, not for people! But mistakes is a part of human being, and I thought he has learned! I'm happy I reach to stop him befor he eats the sausage made of horse meet. If I had told him that after he had eat it, it had not been a very popular mood in the house! That can I promise you!

 

I will be very glad if someone of the excellent english speakers here can give me an feedback and make right. Both spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes.

 

And I have a question: When should I used "I'am", see e.g the first sentence, and when I shouldn't used it? It's some rules?

 

And what the different between "has" and "had", og when should I used it? Haven't that the same meaning?

 

If someone comment my text, I will thank you so much!

Endret 9. januar 2011 av Ituca

[Slimda]

I would quote your post and absolutely slice it open. But I can be arsed. There's a lot of words that are mispelt, sentences that are badly structured and a general feel of "I'm Norwegian.".

However, I will answer your questions in the ending of your post.

 

1. "I'am" isn't something that you ever use. It's either "I am" or "I'm". "I'm a man", or "I am a man". The place you used it, "and because I'am not write well", is horribly wrong. I believe what you're looking for is the following; and because I do not write well.

2. Has and Had:

Who has my phone number?

Who had my phone number?

 

Do you understand? First sentence is a question about who is in possession of something right now. The second sentence is a question about who was in possession of something at a previous time. You can compare it with the Norwegian "Har" and "hadde". Then the sentences would say the following: "Hvem har telefonnummeret mitt" and "Hvem hadde telefonnummeret mitt".

 

I would heartily recommend you sitting down with an english book, and simply read through it. Absorb every word and read it slowly. Your brain will do the rest of the work, and after reading a whole book (big one, mind you), you'll find that your english skills will have improved just a bit.

[2ball_]

Ohoy!

 

It's been quite a while since I've posted in ths thread. In fact it's been a while since I've written or read any English at all. There is the ocasional chatting with friends and reading of articles, but frankly not a lot of that either.

 

My point is; I'm acctually startig to notice my English is becoming a bit rusty

 

I used to read lot of books and I've decided to take that up again. Does anyone have pageturners to recomend?

 

As a referance I loved theese books:

 

- Magician (The Riftwar Saga), by Robert E. Feist

- To Sift Through Bitter Ashes (The Grails Covenant). Ok I loved this book and would really like to finish the series, but can't find them. I'd kiss your boot's if you found them for me! (<3)

- The Hobbit

- The Bartimeus Trilogy

 

If anyone has any books to recomend I'd be grateful. And pleas correct my grammar and spelling, I fear I might need it

[Gjest medlem-1432]

I guess it's just a little mistake that you have wroten pleas and not please.

[Slimda]

My my Gypsy, correcting people's English-mistakes?

 

What books to recommend? Hard to say, though I've always had a soft spot for The Belgariad and Malloreon by David Eddings. But I absolutely adore a series called "The Black Jewels Trilogy", and it engulfed me in their story. Can't remember much more, but they're all good reads!

[Gjest medlem-1432]

Yes Slimda and it feels good man.

[Slimda]

Remember to use commas too.

[Gjest medlem-1432]

Jupp. I hope the activity in this tread will go up, so I can practise my English grammar some more.

[Slimda]

Jupp. I hope the activity in this thread will go up, so I can practice my English grammar some more.

That would do us all good.

 

I would also recommend you a web browser with an in-built dictionary tool. I have Opera, and I haven't bothered turning it off because it reminds me of tiny things I might have forgotten (like capital letters in English and such).

[Gjest medlem-1432]

Woops, there you see. I'm concidering to change my web browser, but I think I'm just to lazy to do that. Maybe later some time.

Good to see that I'm not the only one awake at this time.

[Slimda]

Well, I'm "getting up" in three hours time, so... I'll be going to bed...

[Gjest medlem-1432]

Oh no. I think it's good night to you now.

[Slimda]

Ugh...

[Ituca]

Thank you for answer, Slimba. It was good help for me. I will obviosely start to read an english book. Do you advise something?

 

Wich you all a nice day!

Endret 10. januar 2011 av Ituca

[Slimda]

It's hard to advice something without knowing which kind of genres you're fond of. I dwell mainly in the fantasy-genre of books, and for all that I know, you might have a hidden fascination with Victorian romantic dramas.