The Best Cyber Sex

[PSV]

Knappet fra en annen side :!: :

 

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey...

bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.

bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

bloodninja: Baby? BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh shit

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.

eminemBNJA: Oh shit

eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?

bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?

Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.

bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:

bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.

(pause)

Katie_007: is that it?

bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.

bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?

Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?

(pause)

bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.

bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.

Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.

bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.

bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT.

Katie_007: ...

bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.

Katie_007: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.

bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.

Katie_007: whatever. bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.

Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.

bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.

Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.

bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.

Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.

bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.

bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.

Sarah19fca: you like that?

bloodninja: I peel some bananas.

Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?

bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.

Sarah19fca: Peanuts?

bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.

Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?

bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.

Sarah19fca: This is stupid.

bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.

bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?

bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.

Sarah19fca: /ignore

bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.

bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset. bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)

DirtyKate: Who are you?

bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot

bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.

DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..

bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order

DirtyKate: Haha! OK

DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.

bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?

DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!

bloodninja: Is this a delivery?

DirtyKate: Umm...Yes

DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...

bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.

**pause**

DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!

bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.

bloodninja: I'm on my way now though

**pause**

DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.

bloodninja: How did you know?

bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.

bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven

DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby

bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?

DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.

bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....

DirtyKate: What the fuck?

DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit

DirtyKate: Fuck Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: <logged off> sweet17: Hi

bloodninja: hello

bloodninja: who is this?

sweet17: just a someone?

bloodninja: A someone I know?

sweet17: nope

bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?

sweet17: well sorrrrrry

sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you

bloodninja: why?

sweet17: nevermind your an jerk

bloodninja: Hey wait a minute

sweet17: yes?

bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid

sweet17: paranoid?

bloodninja: yes

sweet17: of what?

sweet17: me?

bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.

sweet17: LOL

bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me!

bloodninja: This shit is serious!

sweet17: What are you hiding from?

bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: gimme a fucking break

bloodninja: I'm serious.

sweet17: I don't get it

bloodninja: The cops are after me.

sweet17: For what?

bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states

sweet17: For?

bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.

bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.

bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You are fucking sick.

bloodninja: Send me your picture.

sweet17: why?

bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.

sweet17: One of what?

bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you

bloodninja: Then send me your picture.

sweet17: hold on

bloodninja: Hurry up.

bloodninja: Are you there?

bloodninja: fuck you, cop!

sweet17: Hey sorry

sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.

bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.

bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.

bloodninja: Weren't you!?

sweet17: thats not it

bloodninja: Then what?

sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty

bloodninja: Most cops aren't

sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKSHIT!

bloodninja: Then send me the picture.

sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?

bloodninja: Just send it through here.

sweet17: alright *PIC*

sweet17: Did you get it?

bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.

sweet17: That was me back in may

sweet17: I've lost weight since then.

bloodninja: I hope so

sweet17: what?!?

sweet17: that hurt my feelings.

bloodninja: Did it?

sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.

bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?

sweet17: yes

bloodninja: Alright let me find it.

sweet17: kks

bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*

sweet17: this isn't you.

bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!

sweet17: You don't look like that.

bloodninja: How the hell do you know?

sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.

bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.

bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.

sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol

bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....

bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.

sweet17: Go fuck yourself

bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture

bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.

sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.

sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.

sweet17: you hurt me.

bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?

sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!

bloodninja: Why would I do that?

sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you

bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..

sweet17: FUCK YOU!

bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.

sweet17: You're a fucking wanker!

sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight

sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me

bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.

sweet17: No you aren't

bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.

bloodninja: HAARRRRR!

sweet17: I'm done with you

bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.

sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore

bloodninja: Wait a sec

bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.

bloodninja: Wanna start over?

sweet17: No

bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty

sweet17: You'll what?

bloodninja: You heard me.

bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.

sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture

bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?

sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes

bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.

bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.

sweet17: Like what?

bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?

sweet17: I don't know

bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.

sweet17: I'm afraid to

bloodninja: Why?

sweet17: cause

bloodninja: cause why?

sweet17: well lets see

sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out

sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?

bloodninja: Nope

sweet17: well its strange to me

bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to

sweet17: I didn't say that

bloodninja: So is that a yes?

sweet17: I guess so.

bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.

bloodninja: Are you willing?

sweet17: What do you need me to do?

bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.

sweet17: ?

bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!"

bloodninja: ok?

bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You can't be serious

bloodninja: Oh yes I am!

bloodninja: It's my fantasy.

sweet17: this is retarded

bloodninja: Do you want it or not?

sweet17: Yes I want it.

bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?

sweet17: sure

bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.

bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.

bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them

bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.

bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.

sweet17: mmmm yeah

bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.

sweet17: Har

bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!

bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.

sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR

bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.

bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.

bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.

bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.

sweet17: mmmmmm you are good

bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder

bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: HARRRRRRR

bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.

bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.

bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: this is stupid

bloodninja: ...still limp

bloodninja: Do it!

sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR

bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.

bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.

sweet17: WTF?!?!?

bloodninja: They stink really bad.

sweet17: OMG STOP!

bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.

sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!

bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...

bloodninja: I kick you in the face!

sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!

bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...

bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.

bloodninja: ...going limp again.

bloodninja: Hello?

bloodninja: Say it!

bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!

 

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?

J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.

Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"

J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.

Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?

J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.

Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?

J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.

Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".

J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.

Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?

J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.

Partner6: It likes that.

J-Dogg: aight.

Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...

J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.

Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.

J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...

Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.

J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...

Partner6: WTF?!

J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!

Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women...

J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!

Partner6: You dipshit.

J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...

J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

VictimX_27: Hi there!

cheesedog: HEYA!

VictimX_27: What u up 2?

cheesedog: Nice English.

cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus?

VictimX_27: Get fucked

cheesedog: I'm just joking relax

cheesedog: What's your name?

VictimX_27: Whats yours?

cheesedog: I asked you first.

VictimX_27: I asked you second

cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school?

VictimX_27: huh

cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny

cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog

VictimX_27: Thats not your real name

cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name?

VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name

cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it?

VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose

VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av?

cheesedog: Yes it is

VictimX_27: Very handsome

cheesedog: Thanks

VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem

cheesedog: Fuck you.

VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way

VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot!

cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot?

VictimX_27: Yeah

cheesedog: What do you look like?

cheesedog: Do you have a pic?

VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone

cheesedog: Why not?

VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly

cheesedog: I won't make fun of you

VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks

cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh?

cheesedog: Is that what you're saying?

VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty

cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that.

VictimX_27: Nahhh

cheesedog: Then describe yourself.

VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like?

cheesedog: Because I think you're nice

cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you.

VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me

cheesedog: Why not?

VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly.

cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside.

VictimX_27: You don't even know me

cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character

VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me?

cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all

cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine.

VictimX_27: You don't understand

cheesedog: Is it that bad?

VictimX_27: YESSSSS

cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons.

cheesedog: She is the bomb!

cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her!

VictimX_27: Wheezy?

cheesedog: Yep. Weezy.

VictimX_27: Who is that?

cheesedog: George's wife.

VictimX_27: Who is george

cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons.

cheesedog: Are you fucking deaf?

VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons?

cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go

VictimX_27: wut?

cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are?

VictimX_27: Should I?

cheesedog: Yes.

VictimX_27: Well I don't.

cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT BURN ON THE GREEEELL...

VictimX_27: huhhh?

cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH VINNNN. JUST TO GET UP THAT HEEEELL

VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying?

cheesedog: Hold on a second

cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC*

VictimX_27: Thats her?

cheesedog: Yep

VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that

cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy!

VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny.

cheesedog: What's funny?

VictimX_27: u r

cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you

VictimX_27: me 2

cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like?

VictimX_27: u don't give up do u?

cheesedog: Never

VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her

cheesedog: ?

VictimX_27: I'm very white

cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista'

VictimX_27: LOL

cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess.

VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most

cheesedog: really?

VictimX_27: I'm an albino

cheesedog: a what?

VictimX_27: u don't know what that is?

cheesedog: I've heard the word before

VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair

VictimX_27: So I'm all white

cheesedog: This is bullshit

VictimX_27: I'm serious!

VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before?

cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia?

VictimX_27: No, we live all over.

cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any

VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose

cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like.

VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me

cheesedog: Ok

VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC*

cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky

VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out?

cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it.

cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly

cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually.

VictimX_27: Thank u

cheesedog: No problem

cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like.

VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours?

cheesedog: Yes

VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister

VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back?

cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you up.

VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL

cheesedog: I'm serious

VictimX_27: We'll see.

cheesedog: Yes we will.

VictimX_27: Bye for now!

cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen.

VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

 

About 3 hours later...

 

VictimX_27: HEY!

cheesedog: Hello there

VictimX_27: I'm back

cheesedog: Have fun at the mall?

VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes

cheesedog: Interesting

VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes

cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now?

VictimX_27: LOL

cheesedog: Is that a yes?

VictimX_27: Could be

VictimX_27:

cheesedog: HOT DAMN!

cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples

cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your..

VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy

cheesedog: Why?

VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want

cheesedog: What do you mean?

VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you?

cheesedog: Of course not.

cheesedog: I like you.

VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are.

cheesedog: I'm 27. Now....

cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands

cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers

VictimX_27: WAIT!

cheesedog: They get hard again... what?

VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first?

VictimX_27: Like what I like?

cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up.

VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing.

cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!

VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass

VictimX_27: Just give me a minute

cheesedog: ok

VictimX_27: I'm back

cheesedog: np

VictimX_27: thank you

cheesedog: So what do you like?

VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked

cheesedog: Where?

VictimX_27: Everywhere

cheesedog: Any place in particular?

VictimX_27: uhhh yeah

cheesedog: tell me

VictimX_27: on my clit

cheesedog: OK!

cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN!

VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind

cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh.

cheesedog: Ok. Check this out.

cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building.

cheesedog: No is around. Its all quiet.

VictimX_27: Uh huh

cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit

cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.

cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your pussy

VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm

cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind

cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole

VictimX_27: yessss

cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.

cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.

cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*

VictimX_27: ?

cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!!

cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!

cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap....

VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!

cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked

cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!!

cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun

cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!

VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!

cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!

cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area**

cheesedog: Slimer is in there too..

VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!

cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!

cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass.

cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**

VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!

cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color

VictimX_27: FUCK YOUUUU

cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!

VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK YOUUUU!!!

cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!

VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!

cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.

cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit.

cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!!

cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!!

cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF!

VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!

cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**

VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

 

tekubus2002: hello

tekubus2002: are you nice girl

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes! A/S/L?

tekubus2002: hello

tekubus2002: i am not your age

tekubus2002: some older

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That's ok!

tekubus2002: i am 28

tekubus2002: not too good for girl like you

tekubus2002: you are living in america

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes!

tekubus2002: i have visa for to come and stay

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Where do you live?

tekubus2002: i am now living in london

tekubus2002: but i am from africa my birth

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you are a black man?

tekubus2002: i have many place in my heart for night gorl like you

tekubus2002: i am brown

tekubus2002: of color

tekubus2002: but do not have ugly face as do some

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am glad to hear that!

tekubus2002: it is ferturs they say

tekubus2002: some do not like the brown in the face

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Why not? Because it looks like poop?

tekubus2002: do you like ?

tekubus2002: some say cake some say poop

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I like it!

tekubus2002: i say cake

tekubus2002: ithink you are nice and special

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Thank you!

tekubus2002: for me to have as one day to be a wofe

tekubus2002: or maybe a nice friend

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really? I would love to be your wife, if you are kind and gentle.

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What would you do to win my love?

tekubus2002: what would you have me do my prince ?

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Tell me!

tekubus2002: i would make you a bed of the roses and lay on you then

tekubus2002: so that you would feel pretty and warm

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You would lay on me?

tekubus2002: ok

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Like a man-blanket?

tekubus2002: i said so ok

tekubus2002: yes

tekubus2002: a blanked made of from me

tekubus2002: you liek this concep ?

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I do!

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Would you be other types of furniture for me?

tekubus2002: if you had no furniture

tekubus2002: perhaps

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Would you be a sofa when I wanted to sit and watch TV?

tekubus2002: i do not make proper otomon

tekubus2002: if it please you to sit i will be stand for your pleasure

tekubus2002: as long as you become in love and happy for me

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That would be lovely!

tekubus2002: i know this

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If it was dark, would you be a lamp for me?

tekubus2002: i do not lisht from my body but perhaps if i had a light in my hand

tekubus2002: or a bulb

tekubus2002: i could make less darkness

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you put a bulb in your mouth...

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And then an electrical cord up your ass.

tekubus2002: i have seen this work

tekubus2002: on the television

tekubus2002: maybe

tekubus2002: on the uncle fester i have seen

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes!

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you could be a whole living room set of furniture for me!

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You have made me so happy.

tekubus2002: but i dio not know if this is something that is scientific

tekubus2002: i am glad you have become happy now

tekubus2002: when will we greet

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You are coming in March?

tekubus2002: i have a apointment in new york in march i will maybe see you if you like me to be with you

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am in California.

tekubus2002: its ok

tekubus2002: i can come there too

tekubus2002: from train goes there

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you come I want you to do something special for me.

tekubus2002: are you living with parents ?

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes

tekubus2002: you can come out from the house to greeting at the train someday

tekubus2002: we can go exploring your country's side

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What I want you to do is this:

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to rent a hotel room.

tekubus2002: ok am listening

tekubus2002: go head

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And I want you to be all the furniture in the hotel room.

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And then we will make love.

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you understand?

tekubus2002: at one time ?

tekubus2002: yes i do

tekubus2002: but only one perhapos

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It needs to be everything.

tekubus2002: and then become other and then other

tekubus2002: i am not so decorative i think

tekubus2002: but we will find a way

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want to sit on you as a chair and watch TV - which is you pretending to be the TV - at the same time as you the refrigerator keeps my food cold.

tekubus2002: i want to try

tekubus2002: but i do not know scientist to keep cold

tekubus2002: but i have a warm body foor keeping your feet wart

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I think you can do anything!

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You seem so smart!

tekubus2002: and your vagina warm to the touch maybe

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Maybe!

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you and i would make love?

tekubus2002: i am so smart and you can learn from me as i teaching you things of that nature

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: okay!

tekubus2002: would you be able to appreciate this ?

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What would you teach me?

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I have always had a fantasy about making love to a bedside table.

tekubus2002: we have many sexual customs in my country wich we find sex

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Tell me about some of them.

tekubus2002: do you have circumsised ?

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Of course! You can buy furniture uncircumcised (natural) or circumcised (veneer).

tekubus2002: yes exactly

tekubus2002: we have one women who are not

tekubus2002: they are considered hrony

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oh really?

tekubus2002: and we have ones that have this procedure

tekubus2002: and they are good wives

tekubus2002: not sluts

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Interesting

tekubus2002: it is not painful

tekubus2002: ony with one pinch only

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So I should have that done?

tekubus2002: if you wish to become a good bride and sit with no regard

tekubus2002: yes !

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you act as all the furniture in a hotel room of love I will gladly let you cut the hell out of my cooter.

tekubus2002: this is a good measure

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Sounds fair.

tekubus2002: and you will love me more for this is my custom

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But before you do, I want to use you as EVERY piece of furniture.

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my ice machine.

tekubus2002: as such ?

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my closet.

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my toilet.

tekubus2002: i do not know if i can become things like irioning board

tekubus2002: this becomes hot to the surface

tekubus2002: toilet?

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes

tekubus2002: i think you might now want that

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I do!

tekubus2002: go to the bathroom on my body?

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: IN your body.

tekubus2002: oh

tekubus2002: well ok so it is

tekubus2002: it is only one sacrifice for my love and nature

tekubus2002: what would you wna t to do with my penis ?

tekubus2002: as i am very stong in the penis

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really!

tekubus2002: oh yes

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I would like your penis to be furniture too.

tekubus2002: how is this

tekubus2002: while it was elongate ?

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Either way...

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: When it is elongate I would like it to be a curtain rod.

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And while it is flaccid I would like it to be a doorstop.

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: In the hotel room.

tekubus2002: it is useful in this manner

tekubus2002: as long as it can be it can be only many things

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I understand!

tekubus2002: good

tekubus2002: it can not be some things

tekubus2002: but others yes

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What can it not be?

tekubus2002: it cannot be a devining rod

tekubus2002: i have not had much success with finding water while it is elongate

tekubus2002: only if while i urinate in the direction of my face

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you do that often?

 

Aner ikke om denne ble postet i riktig kategori, men jeg har ikke ledd så mye på lenge

[Luchy]

ehh hvem orker å lese alt det der?

Endret 7. mai 2006 av Luchy

[Kadmium]

Har sett ErlendRU har skrevet "Old", med altfor mange o'er opptil flere ganger i løpet av en halvtime. Han kjeder seg sikkert.

 

EDIT: Legg samtalen inn i SKJUL-tag.

Endret 7. mai 2006 av Agressive

[Chrisr2505]

Phø, ja, han bør få ræva (Og resten av kroppen) si bort fra PC'en og hoppe rett i seng, klokka er tross alt 4 om natta

 

EDIT: Så ikke posten over, men det er kanskje like greit, for den skjønte jeg ikke en dritt av...

 

EDIT2: Nå skjønte jeg den, misforstod med quotinga, kan det være en god grunn at det er midt på natta?

 

EDIT3: Nei, nå kommer det mye drit ut av kjeften min, god natt...

Endret 7. mai 2006 av Chrisr2505

[Fisha]

Sorry orka ikke og lese

[Gromle]

Enkelte sekvenser der var rett og slett fantastiske!

[Olsenhower]

Har lest alt og mye av det er humreverdig

[Gamlemor]

DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!

bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.

QFT

[Plomma2]

Hehe.

Bloodninja er genialt.

Dette er old, forresten.

[Turboleif]

HEhe.. Mange av de er morsomme... xD

[notalive]

http://bash.org/?104383

 

 

Elsker den siden.

[Cheshire Cat]

I put on my robe and wizard hat

[Bandidos-Pelle]

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

 

Utvilsomt den beste delen.

[Kjekssjokolade]

haha, akkurat lest gjennom hele :!:

 

"bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.

bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.

sweet17: WTF?!?!?

bloodninja: They stink really bad.

sweet17: OMG STOP!

bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.

sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!

bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...

bloodninja: I kick you in the face!

sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!

bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...

bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.

bloodninja: ...going limp again.

bloodninja: Hello?

bloodninja: Say it!

bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!"

 

trodde jeg skulle dø :!:

[knux]

leste hele, har ikke ledd så godt på lenge ;D