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Alle barna kom opp av vannet, untatt Gunn, hun lå på bunn, med åpen munn, og hadde ikke pustet på en stund...

6871776[/snapback]

 

...og hun var rund.

 

:hmm:

6871825[/snapback]

hahahahah! Så bra! :D

 

Det var en språkforsker på besøk i finnmark. Han spurte en lokal person om man sa ''Han er død'', eller ''Han er dau''.

Da svarte mannen: Her oppe holde vi stort sett kjæft når vi e dau!

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Gjest Bruker-95147

Gjest Bruker-95147

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Skrevet

Little johnny

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Little Johnny wakes up and comes down to breakfast. Since he lived on a

farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores.

 

"Not yet," replied little Johnny.

 

His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his

chores.

 

Well, now he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he

kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.

He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

 

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry

cereal.

 

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in

my cereal?" he asks.

 

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any

eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either.

I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this

morning."

 

Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the

cat as he's walking into the kitchen.

 

Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile, and says...

"Are you going to tell him, or should I?

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Sodd Ball

Sodd Ball

Skrevet
Skrevet
Little johnny

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Little Johnny wakes up and comes down to breakfast. Since he lived on a

farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores.

 

"Not yet," replied little Johnny.

 

His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his

chores.

 

Well, now he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he

kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.

He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

 

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry

cereal.

 

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in

my cereal?" he asks.

 

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any

eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either.

I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this

morning."

 

Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the

cat as he's walking into the kitchen.

 

Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile, and says...

"Are you going to tell him, or should I?

6887117[/snapback]

 

Let me guess... Cat aka. pussy? Da blir nok mannen skuffa ja :D

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Gjest Bruker-95147

Gjest Bruker-95147

Skrevet
Skrevet
Let me guess... Cat aka. pussy? Da blir nok mannen skuffa ja  :D

6887270[/snapback]

 

Bingo!

 

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

> >> >> A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. What's a mixed feeling?

> >> >> A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new

> >>car.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. What's the height of conceit?

> >> >> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. What's the definition of macho?

> >> >> A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

> >> >> A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe $ex?

> >> >> A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. Why is divorce so expensive?

> >> >> A. Because it's worth it.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. What is a Yankee?

> >> >> A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

> >> >> A. They both like a tight seal.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?

> >> >> A. Their balls are just for decoration.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?

> >> >> A. About three inches.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?

> >> >> A. For traction in the mud.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

> >> >> A. The grip.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

> >> >> A. It's not hard.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

> >> >> A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

> >> >> A: 45 pounds.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

> >> >> A: 45 minutes.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

> >> >> A: Breasts don't have eyes.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

> >> >> A. The swallow.

> >> >>

> >> >> Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

> >> >> A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >>

> >> >> Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

> >> >> A. They don't have balls to scratch.

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Gjest Bruker-95147

Gjest Bruker-95147

Skrevet
Skrevet

Subject: Pet frog

 

 

 

Bloke comes into the kitchen. Takes a frog out of

his pocket, sets it down in front of his wife.

 

Wife: "What's that?"

 

Bloke: "It's a c*ck-sucking frog."

 

Wife: "What do you expect me to do with that?"

 

 

Bloke: "Teach it to cook, and f*ck off."

 

:love:

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Gjest Bruker-95147

Gjest Bruker-95147

Skrevet
Skrevet

Chinese Detective

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man.

 

So, he hired a famous chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop.

 

A few days later, he recieved this report:

 

Most honorable sir:

 

You leave house.

 

He come house.

 

I watch.

 

He and she leave house.

 

I follow.

 

He and she get on train.

 

I follow.

 

He and she go in hotel.

 

I climb tree-look in window.

 

He kiss she.

 

She kiss he.

 

He strip she.

 

She strip he. He play with she. She play with he.

 

I play with me. Fall out of tree, not see.

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Gjest Bruker-95147

Gjest Bruker-95147

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Skrevet

boy walks into a hooker hotel with a dog as flat as paper and goes up to the pimp.

He says"I wanna hooker with AIDS".

The pimp is curious and asks why so the boy replys,

"well I'm gonna give the hooker to my brother ,whose gonna give the AIDS to my sister,whose gonna give 'em to my dad whose gonna give 'em to the secratary, whose gonna give 'em to the boss,whose gonna give 'em to my mom, whose gonna give 'em to the mail mam, and he's the bastard who killed my dog!"

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Reached

Reached

Skrevet
Skrevet
boy walks into a hooker hotel with a dog as flat as paper and goes up to the pimp.

He says"I wanna hooker with AIDS".

The pimp is curious and asks why so the boy replys,

"well I'm gonna give the hooker to my brother ,whose gonna give the AIDS to my sister,whose gonna give 'em to my dad whose gonna give 'em to the secratary, whose gonna give 'em to the boss,whose gonna give 'em to my mom, whose gonna give 'em to the mail mam, and he's the bastard who killed my dog!"

6887757[/snapback]

hehe var faktisk litt morsom

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Gjest Bruker-95147

Gjest Bruker-95147

Skrevet
Skrevet (endret)

elephant joke

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Man goes to the doctor after being raped by an elephant. The Dr says - funny, your ass is 10 inches wide but an elephants co-ck is only 3 inches wide!" To which the man replies " well the bastard fingered me first"

:love:

 

One day deep in the jungle, an ant came across an elephant that

was limping. The ant asked if there was anything he could do to

help. The elephant replied that he had a thorn in his foot and

would the ant please remove it. The ant said "Sure, but you'll

have to let me f**k you in the a**e. The elephant thought

about it for awhile and decided that it was worth it as the

pain the thorn was causing was getting unbearable. Afterall,

it was only an ant and how big could he be. The elephant

agreed and the ant proceeded to remove the thorn, after

which the ant climbed up the elephant's hind quarters and

proceeded to pound away. A monkey up a nearby tree was

watching all this and rolling in laughter at the sight. The

monkey then threw a coconut at the elephant that hit it

squarely on the head. "OUCH" yelled the elephant. "Take

it all BI*CH" said the ant.

Endret av Bruker-95147
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