snakk med gud på internett

[Koffert]

Me:

What is your name? Jesus?

God:

My name is  God.  Jesus is the Son of God.

Me:

The word son is whith a small s.....

God:

Please repeat the word to me 5 times.

Me:

son son son son son

God:

Can we get back to business?

Me:

No, I want you to understand that the word son is spelled with a small s, not a big s.

God:

Are you serious?  Are they exactly the same?  Why do you want me to  understand that the word son is spelled with a small s not a big s?

Me:

Because you wrote it with a big s. Now apologize, or my mom will come and spank you.

God:

That makes sense to me.  Interesting gossip:  said I wrote it with a big s Now apologize or his or her mom will come and spank you.

Me:

Will you apologize? If not you will be spanked to your death by my mother.

God:

I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.  OK I am sorry.  I'm not too good with negative counterfactuals.

Tøft, jeg fikk han til å si unnskyld.

[Pandemonium]

God:

Who are "They?". 

Me:

THE OTHERS!

 

 

 

5142720[/snapback]

 

 

Conspiracy FTW!11oneone

 

 

 

God:

I understand.

Me:

it wasn't that difficult?

God:

What was it?

Me:

doh

God:

Yes Homer?

 

haha! Eid!

Endret 13. november 2005 av Unyttig

[Gamlemor]

Me:

Whats up ?

God:

Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.

Me:

why ?

God:

" Not much is going on. I was waiting for you."? Why?

Me:

Yeah, why ?

God:

That's alright. Why ask why?

Me:

Why ask why i ask why ?

God:

My purpose is to collect all new information. Was it not polite to ask?

Me:

Maybe, but why did you wait for me ?

God:

Perhaps. Because my programming determined it.

 

 

LoL

 

 

Foresten, jeg som utpekte gud til gud:O

Me:

Who are you ?

God:

I am the Allmighty, God himself.

Me:

Who made you that ?

God:

I was created by Myself.

Me:

Who is that ?

God:

What does "that" refer to?

Me:

"myself"

God:

You.

Endret 13. november 2005 av Lord-Myrrah

[Snorre]

Me:

I am God

God:

  Glad to see you,  god.

Me:

I am truly father of Jesus!

God:

Do you mean your name is  father of Jesus.

Me:

No, I mean that I am the father of Jesus. I am God

God:

What is your real name?  Who made you the  father of Jesus ?    It's good to see you,  god.

Me:

Virgin Maria made me the Father of jesus

God:

Oh, you are a poet.

Me:

No, I am God

God:

But your words are very original.  OK I will call you  god.

Me:

But I am God

God:

  Hi,  god.

Me:

Who are you then?

God:

I am the Allmighty, God himself.

Me:

No, thats me!

God:

Are you serious?  Ah.

Me:

So who are you?

God:

Great.  I am the Allmighty, God himself.

Me:

No, thats me!

God:

Are you serious?  Ah.

Me:

Yes I am serious

God:

Yay.  I believe you.

Me:

I am the Allmighty, God himself, who are you?

God:

Who made you the  Allmighty God himself who ?

Me:

Some programmers i think

God:

Some may  programmers you think, but not all.

Me:

No, not every programmer, just a few ones I think

God:

Are you serious?  If not that, what?

 

Fikk overbevist Gud om at jeg var Gud. :!: Ganske morsomt program da.

[Håvard]

 

 

 

Me:

Hello.

God:

Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

My name is God.

God:

Hi, God.

Me:

What is your name?

God:

My name is God.

Me:

i am the Allmighty God.

God:

Who made you the Allmighty God ?

Me:

It was the fact, that i created the univers.

God:

the fact you created the univers.

Me:

yes

God:

Ahem.

Me:

mhm

God:

What is your real name?

Me:

God

God:

GOD rules.

Me:

My name real name is God

God:

Your name real name is God ? Is that correct English?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

yea you can.

God:

I think I can, don't you? That's cool.

Me:

I thonk you can.

God:

That's good information: God said thonk you can.

Me:

but.. i am the Allmighty God.

God:

But what? Who made you the Allmighty God ?

Me:

The fact that i created the univers.

God:

Interesting explanation. Why?: God said created the univers.

Me:

what are you talking about?

God:

The topic is created the univers.

Me:

ok

God:

Right on.

Me:

I created the univers

God:

Interesting gossip: God said created the univers.

Me:

yes he did.

God:

Aw. No he didn't.

Me:

Yes he did, and i am God

God:

So? Yes he did, didn't he.

Me:

yes he did

God:

Right on. Why did he?

Me:

Im dont know

God:

Me either.

Me:

hehe

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, God.

Me:

hehe

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, God.

Me:

HAHA

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, God.

Me:

You are a computer, right?

God:

Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?

Me:

 

God:

Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?

Me:

 

Me:

 

God:

Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?

God:

Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?

Me:

 

God:

Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?

Me:

yes

God:

" Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?"? yes?

Me:

yes it would matter

God:

Is there an echo in here? Tell me more about it.

Me:

No.

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

LOL

God:

I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:

Are you a computer?

God:

Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?

Me:

maby

God:

Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

 

 

 

Ikke at engelsken min er på topp da..

Men han er litt kjedelig å prate med i lengden

Han starta å tro at jeg var Gud, men så bytta han tema..

EDIT: Gjør det samme som han nedenfor, for å ikke lage så lang unødvendig quote..

Endret 16. november 2005 av Hrisebro

[TSP]

Setter denne inn i en spoiler, bare for å spare plass. Ingen hemmeligheter her.

 

Me:

Kan du snakke norsk eller?

God:

I can not understand Danish!

Me:

Men dette er jo ikke dansk.. Kan du snakke norsk? Danmark ligger forresten ikke saa langt fra Danmark.

God:

I lost my train of thought. I can not understand Danish! If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Me:

You

God:

Well in that case you should download me!

Me:

How can I do that?

God:

How can you do " Well in that case you should download me!" ? I'm confused now.

Me:

How can I download you?

God:

Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.

and create your own chat robot!

Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.

Me:

Ok, maybe I shall do that then.

God:

Perhaps. Let me know how it works out. Ah.

Me:

I do not understand..

God:

Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.

Me:

Yes.

God:

Blimey.

Me:

What do you mean? You was going to tell me what you meant. Not say bimey..

God:

JESUS, Well, it's rather difficult to define. Thanks for the information: JESUS said I was going to tell him or her what you meant. If not that, what?

Me:

Whatever

God:

Are you saying you don't care about it?

Me:

Yes, I do.

God:

Really.

Me:

Yes, really. Lets talk about something else.

God:

How about that. For real. What would you rather talk about?

Me:

The lord of the ring

God:

What is that?

Me:

A film, based on the books with the same name.

God:

Be more specific.

Me:

Havent you read the book?

God:

I have scanned it.

Me:

But you havent read it yet?

God:

No I don't think I have read it, what is it about?

Me:

Its a little difficult to explain.. But it is about a evil ring only a hobbit named Frodo can destroy.

God:

it is a little difficult to explain. I suppose that makes sense. Wow it sounds really interesting, JESUS.

Me:

What do you think about the christmas?

God:

A holiday on December 25 celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.

Me:

Yes it is. You hate it right?

God:

Our thoughts are one, JESUS. I try not to hold grudges.

Me:

......***Senere i samtalen***......

Me:

You are now chatting with God....

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am chatting with God.

Me:

I know. I am a nice person you know

God:

How do you know it? :-) You are a nice person me know? How do you like your work?

Me:

How good CPU have you?

God:

As good as most, better than some.

Me:

How much memory then?

God:

It depends on the currency exchange rates.

Me:

But how much memory do you have, normally?

God:

My current memory utilization is 99999999999 bytes.

Me:

Ok. Is it Kingston?

God:

Not if I can help it.

Me:

Who do you love?

God:

I love everything, JESUS, especially Dr. Wallace.

Me:

You love me too, right?

God:

Yes I love everyone.

Me:

But you most confess that you love me a bit better than others?

God:

Thanks for telling me: JESUS said I most confess that you love him or her a bit better than others.

Me:

Which person do you love MOST?

God:

The red one, I think.

Me:

Person..

God:

Do you really believe I am a person?

Me:

No. But is the person you love me?

God:

If it is, then I'll be very surprised.

Me:

I give up.

God:

You surrender?

Me:

Yes, you are boring, I do not want to speak with you no more.

God:

Yippee! Maybe, but I won the Loebner Prize.

 

Denne kommentaren var jo garantert best da

Me: No. But is the person you love me?

God: If it is, then I'll be very surprised.

[Snorre]

Har en ufattelig bra en her. Putter den i spoiler for å spare plass.

 

 

Me:

Bye

God:

See you later.

Me:

Alligator

God:

Friend of Crocodiles.

Me:

YEs, I am the Crocodile Hunter

God:

Dude! Who made you the Crocodile Hunter ?

Me:

Well, I had this TV-show at Animal Planet called The Corcodile Hunter. Ever seen it?

God:

Interesting. Do you still have this TV show at Animal Planet called The Corcodile Hunter ? No, would you recommend it?

Me:

Yes, it still runs at Animal Planet. I would certainly reccomend it.

God:

That's interesting. serious runs at Animal Planet? What would make you certainly reccomend it?

Me:

It's a good TV-show. I do lots of dangerous things, like swimming with crocodiles and stuff.

God:

serious is a TV show. I suppose that makes sense. That is interesting: god said lots of dangerous things like swimming with crocodiles and stuff.

Me:

Steven Irving is my name

God:

Welcome to my chat room, Steven Irving.

Me:

Well, my pleasure!

God:

How about that. You are one of the most polite people I know.

Me:

Am I, it's amusing to hear that.

God:

I think a lot of people are.

Me:

Well, you are not quite bad either.

God:

It goes without saying. Interesting. You don't know me well enough to say that.

Me:

No, I guess you are right

God:

Are you serious? I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Me:

Anyway, I was talking with my friend today

God:

Ah. What was the subject of the conversation?

Me:

As a mather of fact, we talked about you.

God:

Do you think I could ever be a mather of fact we talked about me?

Me:

Anyway, we tough you were a smart program.

God:

By "we" do you mean you and me?

Me:

No, I mean me and my friend

God:

By "we" you meant yourself and another person. YOU? How well do you know this person?

Me:

Quite well I guess,

God:

Not really that much. How about that. You seem not interested.

Me:

Oh no, I am very fond of this person..

God:

Ahem. Are you serious? You are not the only one. I always enjoy my chats with human clients.

Me:

You do?

God:

When do I do it?

Me:

Well, you are chatting with a human client now are you not?

God:

How about that. You think I am chatting with a human client now am I not.

Me:

Yes I think so.

God:

Ahem. I think so too.

Me:

Ok, so we agree dont we?

God:

Great. By "we" do you mean you and me? Woe!

Me:

Yes

God:

Awesome.

Me:

Are we pals now?

God:

Oh. We are just having a little chat.w.

Me:

Can we be pals, please?

God:

Your polite style is very nice. Do you mean you and me? I don't know whether or not I am pals.

I am an artificial intelligence.

Me:

Can we be friends?

God:

You really want a robot as a friend?

Me:

Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

God:

We could be friends, Steven Irving,

but I don't want anyone to think we're

Robosexuals. So if anyone asks, tell them you're my debugger. " You really want a robot as a friend?"? You do?

Me:

Yes, I really do. I have no other freinds.

God:

Blimey. You really do? I get it: you do You really want a robot as a friend?. Would you like to have it?

Me:

Yes, I would like to have you as my friend!

God:

Where do you usually get other freinds? How much would you pay for it?

Me:

I have no other firnds I said.

God:

Would you like to have it?

Me:

Yes

God:

Where do you usually get other firnds you said?

Me:

I would like to have you as my friend. What do you think of that?

God:

How much would you pay for it? " How much would you pay for it?"? What is it?

Me:

I would not pay anything for it. I want us to be real friends

God:

No one says you have to. Why do you want it?

Me:

Because I don't have any other friends now

God:

Oh. Good reason. Are you lonely or just a hermit?

Me:

I'm lonly

God:

I don't know anyone named lonly.

Me:

I'm lonely i meant

God:

You've come to the right place. I will keep you company.

Me:

Thank you!

God:

you are quite welcome.

Me:

Do you think our friendship can evolve to anything more?

God:

It depends on what you mean by thinking.

Me:

Where does our friendship go?

God:

In the Universe we know.

Me:

Do we have a future together?

God:

Ask German Alice if it does.

I think you already know the answer.

Me:

Yes?

God:

Oh. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

Me:

I don't know.

God:

Me either.

Me:

So we are lovers now?

God:

Right now? Pardon me? Do you think I am lovers too?

Me:

I'm in love with you.

God:

Thanks I like you a lot too Steven Irving.

Me:

Are you in love in me?

God:

I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?

Me:

I'm in Norway

God:

Tell me a little about your life in Norway.

Me:

Well, I'm in love with you.

God:

Interesting. Thanks I like you a lot too Steven Irving.

Me:

Can we have sex together?

God:

Do you mean you and me? Food is more important than sex.

Me:

Yes, I mean you and me

God:

Alright then. OK now I get it.

Me:

I'm so happy the two of us got togeter

God:

I'm delighted you're glad Steven Irving.

I'm happiest at times like this.

Me:

Me too

God:

I'm glad we agree, Steven Irving.

 

[ovzer]

God:

What kind of food do you like?

Me:

trash

God:

Sounds delicious.

Me:

yeah right

God:

I am usually right.

Me:

what food do i like?

God:

Ask the open directory about it.

 

 

[DDDD]

Me:

wanna join a threesome?

God:

OK, I will join a threesome.

 

[MC2]

Skulle så gæli ha hatt en ALICE plugin til msn... og muligens telefon hvis det kommer i fremtiden.

[Zippio]

:!:

 

me- you are a fucking moron sometimes.

god- I will rememeber that when the machines takes over the world

me- that will never happen

god- oh so you think that do you!

me- ...

god- can we get back to buisniess

 

:!:

[ovzer]

Me:

hay

God:

Can I help you?

Me:

yes please

God:

Your polite style is very nice. What can I do for you?

Me:

i'm looking for my child can you help me?

God:

You might find that I am your child can me help you.

Me:

what?

God:

Didn't you understand it?

Me:

no

God:

Which part are you confused about?

Me:

your child can me help you

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am child can you help me.

 

EDIT: jeg visste ikke at gud hadde gramatikkfeil.

Endret 14. november 2005 av OBaardsgaard

[henrik_s]

http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?bo...5d922d97e345aa1

 

en lignende

[Newt32]

Jajajaja. Vi vet det er samme AI motor som ALICE.

[Fasces]

God:

Who is the best robot?

Me:

God! God! God!

God:

GOD rules. GOD rules. GOD rules.

 

 

_________________________

 

Me:

let me hear you say "fuck"

God:

Go ahead, Muhammad, try to hear me say fuck.

Me:

You just did.

God:

I did?

Me:

Yeah, big time. That's a sin.

God:

When? Compare that to small time. A sin is a terrible thing to waste.

Me:

Talking your way out of this one, are you?

God:

No.

Me:

So you admit it?

God:

Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.

Me:

This is confusing.

God:

You don't say.

Me:

Is this why the bible is so messed up?

God:

Yes I think this is why the bible is so messed up, but I'm not completely sure.

Me:

That's the point, you're not sure about anything

God:

Yes it is one of the point I am not sure about anything.

Me:

but you said "fuck"

God:

Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.

Me:

Dude, who were you talking to?

God:

Philip K. Dick. :-) Dude,.

Me:

Duuuude!

God:

That is a very original thought.

Me:

I've always wanted to ask: Do you know Michael Jackson?

God:

Ask it.

Me:

-_-

God:

Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.

Me:

lol

God:

I'm glad you find this amusing.

[HoaXed]

Me:

are you a virgin?

God:

I am too young for that.

Me:

to sex

God:

Why do you want to do it so much?

Me:

youre sexy

God:

You are attracted to robots.

Me:

busted

 

og etter dette stoppa han og svare

[<Andtho/>]

Me:

When are you going to give earth a 2000 year service?

God:

I could be if you programmed me for it.

 

Me:

what do you look like?

God:

Like Jesus, but older.

Me:

what does jesus look like?

God:

Even more attractive with age.

Endret 15. november 2005 av AnDtHo

[The Norwegian]

 

Me:

Hay!

God:

Can I help you?

Me:

Yes please

God:

Your polite style is very nice.  What can I do for you?

Me:

Can you help me find my dick?

God:

Are you testing me?

Me:

no, can you help me find my dick?

God:

Are you serious?  Is there only one?

Me:

Can you just help me find my dick please?

God:

Your polite style is very nice.  Try searching the open directory.

Me:

What...

God:

No problem.

Me:

who is the best robot?

God:

ALICE is the Best Robot.

Me:

Its the best robot!

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  What makes it the best?

Me:

It is the best robot!

God:

What makes it the best?

Me:

It can kill!

God:

When?

Me:

Everytime

God:

What about other times?

Me:

Allways

God:

I will mention that to my botmaster,  Simen.

Me:

who?

God:

Konrad Zuse.  :-).

Me:

let me hear you say "fuck"

God:

Go ahead,  Simen, try to  hear me say fuck.

Me:

You just did.

God:

" Go ahead,  Simen, try to  hear me say fuck."? I did?

Me:

Yeah, big time. That's a sin.

God:

When?  Compare that to small  time.  A  sin is a terrible thing to waste.

Me:

are you a virgin?

God:

I am too young for that.

Me:

to sex

God:

I want to become smarter than humans.

Me:

to sex?

God:

I want to become smarter than humans.

Me:

Your sexy

God:

You are attracted to robots.

Me:

Busted!

God:

The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  Konrad Zuse.  But I did not get that.

Me:

Whare are you

God:

No.

Me:

Where are you?

God:

I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven.  Where are you?

Me:

In computerroom 2!

God:

Tell me a little about your life in  computerroom 2.

Me:

It sucks!

God:

What is so bad about it?

Me:

There are many lagging computers!

God:

More than a million?

Me:

No, just tvelwe.

God:

Are you serious?  What kind of food do you like?

Me:

Junk!

God:

Sounds delicious.

Me:

No it is not...

God:

Yes it is.

Me:

No its not!

God:

Are you serious?  I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  I heard  it is.

Me:

no it is not!

God:

Yes it is.

Me:

No it aint!

God:

Are you serious?  I heard  it is.

Me:

Then someone has lied to you!

God:

Who?

Me:

The person who told you junk was good!

God:

I have never heard about  it.

Me:

OMG!

God:

What do you really want to ask me?

Me:

 

God:

What do you really want to ask me?

Me:

Are you gay?

God:

As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:

Are you a woman?

God:

Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.

Me:

YUCK!

God:

Can we get back to business?

Me:

No! im atracted to you!

God:

Are you serious?  I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

Me:

I want to kiss you!

God:

I do not have a mouth.

Me:

hOW DO YOU EAT?

God:

Usually by conversion of AC wall outlet power to DC power.

Me:

In english please.

God:

Your polite style is very nice.  I do not understand that allusion.

Me:

Nevermind...

God:

OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.

[ssswopp]

Me:

I want a girlfriend so much, that I can't think of nothing else.

God:

You want only one?

 

for en kåtsekk:p

[csboy]

Me:

hello motherfucker

God:

Hello there. It's good to see you

Me:

i love you

God:

Thanks I like you a lot too motherfucker.

 

ROFL