The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do

[MrLee]

The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

[Mato]

I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.

 

hehe han her må ha vert JÆVELIG og ha i militeret

[Drama Llama]

61. Nerve gas is not funny.

[1234567890qwertyuio]

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

 

[Gjest medlem-19530]

Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

 

(Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

 

I do not have super-powers

 

I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.

 

The Giant Space Ants' are not at the top of my chain of command.

 

There are no evil clowns living under my bed.

 

I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot

 

I may not line my helmet with tin foil to ‘Block out the space mind control lasers

 

May not pretend to be a facist stormtrooper, while on duty

 

May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.

 

May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance

 

I am not authorized to initiate Jihad(for de som ikke vet det er jihad milits i irak(?) )

 

The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not ‘Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.

 

A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.

 

Crucifying mice - bad idea.

 

Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.

 

Shouting ‘Let’s do the village! Let’s do the whole fucking village!’ while out on a mission is bad.

 

Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.

 

I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.

 

Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

 

Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.

 

will no longer perform 'lap-dances' while in uniform.

 

If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.

 

When detained by MP's, I do not have a right to a strip search.

 

Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.

 

Especially not a pornographic movie studio.

 

On training missions, try not to shoot down the General's helicopter.

 

We do not 'charge into battle, naked, like the Celts'.

 

I am not 'A lesbian trapped in a man's body'.

 

On Army documents, my race is not 'Other'.

 

Nor is it 'Secretariat, in the third'.

 

When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something 'I saw in a cartoon'.

 

My name is not a killing word.

 

I am not the Emperor of anything.

 

Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.

 

Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.

 

Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.

 

I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.

 

My chain of command is not interested in why I 'just happen' to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.

 

Not allowed to get shot.

 

favoritter

Endret 23. juli 2004 av medlem-19530

[Drama Llama]

Lurer på om jeg klarer å slå han når jeg er i militæret...

[1234567890qwertyuio]

Lag liste du også...

[1234567890qwertyuio]

Lag liste du også...

[ludvig]

 

I am not authorized to initiate Jihad(for de som ikke vet det er jihad milits i irak(?) )

 

 

favoritter

Men er ikke jihad det hellig krig da?

 

 

As this suggests, jihad is "holy war." Or, more precisely: It means the legal, compulsory, communal effort to expand the territories ruled by Muslims at the expense of territories ruled by non-Muslims.

[rlz]

haha lol

[lperik]

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

 

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

 

Endret 26. juli 2004 av lperik

[Gunfreak]

 

I am not authorized to initiate Jihad(for de som ikke vet det er jihad milits i irak(?) )

 

 

favoritter

Men er ikke jihad det hellig krig da?

 

 

As this suggests, jihad is "holy war." Or, more precisely: It means the legal, compulsory, communal effort to expand the territories ruled by Muslims at the expense of territories ruled by non-Muslims.

jo det er det