De beste skjekke triksene Her-->

[the animal]

Sorry om det kommer med noen F ord her assa

men her er de beste av de beste på engelsk da men går ut for at folket kan det

 

 

 

Funny Pick-Up Lines

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

 

What winks and screws like a tiger? (wink when she doesn't know ;-)

 

If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

 

Do you know the difference between a blow job and a big mac? No! You wanna' have lunch tomorrow?

 

Kiss me if I am wrong, but don't I know you?

 

Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?

 

The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

 

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

 

As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!

 

I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?

 

You with those curves, and me with no brakes ...

 

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

 

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

 

Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

 

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

 

There's a party at your ankles... why don't you invite your pants down?

 

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

 

Wow! Are those real?

 

If you stood infront of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

 

Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Superbowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) cuz it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.

 

Did it hurt? (What?) When you fell from heaven ... Did it hurt?

 

Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!

 

Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)

 

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

 

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

 

If I let you suck on my tongue would you be greatful?

 

True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

 

Nice Shoes. Wanna have sex?

 

Cindy G. Ask: Are you from Tennessee? (When she says no) I thought you were... because you are the ten I see

 

Kiss me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?

 

Kiss me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Pocahontus?

 

Hey babe, how about a pizza and some sex? [slap] HEY! What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

 

I'm going to have sex with you tonight no matter what so you might as well be there.

 

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

 

Can I flirt with you?

 

I admit, I'm kind of a geek by day ... But I'm a sex machine by night!

 

You have been very naughty! Go to my room!

 

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

 

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

 

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

 

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

 

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

 

Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.

 

Do you sleep on your stomach?

No.

Can I?

 

Be unique and different, say yes.

 

You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.

 

I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

 

What is a slutty girl like you doing in a classy place like this? OOPS! I mean, what is nice girl like you doing in a dump like this? (Phew)

 

Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!

 

My name is {name}, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.

 

He: Excuse me, want to dance?

She: No.

He: Maybe you didn't hear me... I said you look really fat in those pants!

 

He : Hey Baby ... Wanna dance?

She : No.

He : Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...

 

He : Hey, Stop!

She : What?

He : You're undressing me with your eyes... I know you're doing it. STOP!

 

Lines that you may get slapped from

 

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in  your hole?

 

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear  you like a feed bag.

 

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

 

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

 

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your  face.

 

6. You are so fine that I'd eat your sh*t just to see where it came  from.

 

7. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

 

8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go f*ck.

 

9. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

 

10. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was  Christmas,  could I meet you between the holidays?

 

11. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

 

12. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

 

13. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

 

14. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

 

15. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open,  and  I'll give you the meat.

 

16. Guy: "Would you like to dance?" Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you." Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have  misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"

 

17. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

 

18. F*ck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

 

19. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

 

20. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

 

21. Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

 

22. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.

 

23. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

 

24. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

 

25. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

 

26. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

 

26. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

 

28. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

 

29. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

[SvennAndre]

Oi, det var mye over her..

 

 

her er to:

 

Sjekker: Pappan din må ha vært tyv!

Dama/typen: Hvorfor?

Sjekker: fordi han har tatt alle stjernene i himmelen og puttet de i øynene dine!

 

 

Sjekker: Du, jeg har mista telefon nr. mitt, kan jeg få ditt?

 

 

Happy sjekking.

[Javeljavel]

Den Ultimate, som faktisk kan funke fordi den er så sinnsykt dårlig:

 

Håper du har kasko, for jeg har en bulk i buksa.

[TLZ]

"Hei."

[lperik]

How you doin... 

Den funker IKKE!

hehe, joa vet nå det.. men om du smiler pent og sier det på en måte så dama skjønner du bare tuller kan det funke fint det.. så lenge man følger opp samtalen smoothli

[ratata]

Den Ultimate, som faktisk kan funke fordi den er så sinnsykt dårlig:

 

Håper du har kasko, for jeg har en bulk i buksa.

hahaha

[alexf]

Håper du har kasko, for jeg har en bulk i buksa.

Hehe. Knall

[JoeDohn]

Dunno what to say, but I'll try anyway...

[alexf]

Sjekking er kulere på engelsk. Synes norsk høres teit ut. Dog, det funker nok enda dårligere å sjekke på engelsk enn norsk.

[Torjus]

How you doin... 

Den funker IKKE!

funker for joey, godt nok for meg

[darkness|]

Den Ultimate, som faktisk kan funke fordi den er så sinnsykt dårlig:

 

Håper du har kasko, for jeg har en bulk i buksa.

LOL! Kunne ha funket på meg

[Mato]

skal du være med heime og stikke sokka ???

 

 

eg strikke og du sokke !!!

 

 

 

(høres bedre ut Sokke med engelsk utalelse )

[ilpostino]

beste sjekketrikket jeg har hatt er gå bort til en (utkåret?) dame og spørre om å få en klem.

 

hvis hun synes du ser ut som nøkken kan du drite i klemmen, det samme kan du gjøre med å sjekke henne opp.

 

men hvis hun synes at du ser bre ut (kanskje tilogmed synes du er kjekk) får du en koseklem. og når du da har fått en liten koseklem er det veldig kort vei til en at det foregår en fornuftig samtale....

 

brukte dette endel da jeg var på byen før. funket veldig ofte og bør anbefales.

[sluffy]

Har en i klassen som holder på med det klemme greiene, og det eneste jeg kan si om det er at mange er villig til å gi han en klem, men de fleste synes det er sinnsykt teit og irriterende (men det har vel kanskje litt med personen å gjøre også)

[ilpostino]

Har en i klassen som holder på med det klemme greiene, og det eneste jeg kan si om det er at mange er villig til å gi han en klem, men de fleste synes det er sinnsykt teit og irriterende (men det har vel kanskje litt med personen å gjøre også) 

hvem kan vel motstå en 'lett' fyldig kar med helskjegg? grrrrrr

 

 

 

 

edit: trykkleif

Endret 4. juni 2004 av ilpostino

[Jørgen Sørheim]

Knegg! "Hei, kan jeg få en klem?" MAO, MAO!!1oneone

[pabelo]

"Vil du være med hjem og se på Linux partisjonen min?"

[ViPeR]

hehe, har en kammerat som prøvde denne: "ha du vørre ein torsk så sku eg ha feska deg"

[T.F.T]

Hei, jeg heter John. Hva heter du ?

[Karmacom]

Bra sjekketriks:

 

Du: *stå å gråt på et utested*

 

Fin dame kommer bort til deg, spør "hva plager deg da lille venn?"

 

Du: "bu hu, kjæresten min gjorde det slutt med meg fordi jeg ikke har ligget med noen, hun vil ikke se meg før jeg har fått bedre erfaring buuuh *hikst* uh bu hu, og nå *hulk* vet jeg ik-ik-ikke hva jeg skal gjøre! bu huhuhuu!! buhu!!! *hikst*".

 

 

 

Neida, gå bort til dama å si: "Hei, jeg har lyst på deg, hver dag fra nå av, synes du jeg burde unskylde meg for det medfødte instinket mitt?" *smil edru og uskyldig*

 

Damer blir somregel så paff (hvis du er edru, at fulle folk som er på leting etter ti-på-tre dame sier sånn er ikke noe nytt og funker bare ikke), at de går fem på, de er som regel vant til gutter som rører rundt grøten alt for mye.

 

 

Karma

Endret 17. januar 2005 av Karmacom