Sliter med formulering av setninger - Engelsk essay -

[NeEeO]

Hei,

 

Jeg går nå første året på VGS. Jeg ønsker meg en 5 til jul, men nå har jeg bare lyst til å gi opp. Læreren min sa at hvis jeg klarer å få 5 på tentamen, kan jeg få 5 til jul også.

 

Vel, jeg har gjentatte ganger spurt om tilbakemelding, og nesten hver eneste gang...Får jeg det samme svaret. Jeg har vannskelig for å formulere setninger. På sist prøve fikk jeg 4.

 

Jeg har tentamen om 4 dager ca. Det jeg er mest redd for er å "henge" meg opp i hver eneste setning slik jeg gjør til vanlig. Grunnen til at jeg gjør det er fordi jeg sliter med å formulere disse setningene riktig. Ofte kan jeg henge opp i hver eneste setning i 5-10 minutter, og det ender opp med at jeg sitter igjen til tiden er omme.

Jeg sliter altså med å finne riktig ord, eller bygge setning "rett". Når jeg tenker å skrive noe går det liksom ikke med engang.

 

Jeg forstår ikke hvorfor ikke dette sitter hos meg. Jeg har iløpet av store deler av mitt liv surfet mye på engelske nettsider, forumer, spillnetsider..Osv. Lest altså mye Engelsk på internett, sikkert mer enn mine venner.

 

Jeg leste også the Hunger Games for 3 måneder siden. Prøvde å "lære" meg hvert eneste ord, helt til det manglet ca 90 sider av boka gikk jeg lei. Siden den gang har jeg stoppet å lese bøker, for det fungerer rett og slett ikke. Alt er så vannskelig :/

 

Trenger desperat hjelp!"

Endret 10. desember 2012 av ZPAS

[NeEeO]

Brukte ca en halvtime på å skrive en liten kladd på mitt eget iniativ(tema var funnet fra nettet):

 

 

kladd.docx

 

BTW: Ingen konklusjon. Ingen kilder er brukt, bare ting jeg har funnet opp! Sikkert masse "småfeil", men ser dere noen "stoore" feil. Jeg er allerede klar over noen av feilene, men de er ikke rettet opp i dokumentet.

 

Hva synes dere?

Endret 10. desember 2012 av ZPAS

[technicality]

Since you are feeling a lack in your ability to properly express yourself in english I will make this reply IN english

I'm not certain if I have managed to grasp what the problem is about.

But one idea for you would be to think in english, From the small excerpt you posted I get the feeling that you have thought in norwegian and then attempted to formulate it properly into english,that tends to lead to some peculiar and at times heavy sentences which are understandable but not quite right.

[NeEeO]

Since you are feeling a lack in your ability to properly express yourself in english I will make this reply IN english

I'm not certain if I have managed to grasp what the problem is about.

But one idea for you would be to think in english, From the small excerpt you posted I get the feeling that you have thought in norwegian and then attempted to formulate it properly into english,that tends to lead to some peculiar and at times heavy sentences which are understandable but not quite right.

Thanks for your reply technicality!

Could you please specify which sentences you mean? As it will be a lot more easier to find out and correct my mistakes. In addition, what do you think about my language?

Endret 10. desember 2012 av ZPAS

[technicality]

I'll do you one step better...I'm no expert but I can give you my view on your writings.

 

There are up to thousand different kinds of languages in the world. Some are easy to learn, others are hardly understandable

 

Here I understand what you are trying to say but "up to thousand" sounds a bit odd to me, so does hardly understandable in this context

 

The technology has changed so much that we can translate a foreign text within seconds on the computer. Moreover, we can use the internet as a more advanced tool where we can learn different languages in just one click. This show how “small” the world has become. As a result, the experts have gone a step further by augmenting with that our Childs should learn more languages. On the other hand, some people say that’s a stupid idea. Is it really that stupid? Read on, maybe you’ll have the answer in the end of the article.

First of all, we’ll have to cover why it is important to have our children learn more languages. As soon as children learn new languages, they get to experience countries with different languages in the future. Besides, they’ll learn about new culture, and meet a new society. In addition, studies makes it clear that children who learns multiple languages at a young age does less mistakes in grammar and has an ability to understand other languages more effectively. On the other hand, to get a child to learn multiple languages can make the child confused. The child may get trouble with understanding the syntax and the grammar of his own language, as a result the child only get weak “links” in the different languages.

 

The last bit is a heavy sentence and you are kind of contradicting yourself by first stating that educating children in multiple languages enables them to properly grasp grammar then later you continue with them lacking this ability with their own language.Atleast that is how I read it.

If I may I'd like to give this text and attempt of my own

 

Your vocabulary is good but in my opinion a tad repetitive, I have coloured out the word language and it's variation.See what I mean ?

[NeEeO]

I'll do you one step better...I'm no expert but I can give you my view on your writings.

 

There are up to thousand different kinds of languages in the world. Some are easy to learn, others are hardly understandable

 

Here I understand what you are trying to say but "up to thousand" sounds a bit odd to me, so does hardly understandable in this context

 

The technology has changed so much that we can translate a foreign text within seconds on the computer. Moreover, we can use the internet as a more advanced tool where we can learn different languages in just one click. This show how “small” the world has become. As a result, the experts have gone a step further by augmenting with that our Childs should learn more languages. On the other hand, some people say that’s a stupid idea. Is it really that stupid? Read on, maybe you’ll have the answer in the end of the article.

First of all, we’ll have to cover why it is important to have our children learn more languages. As soon as children learn new languages, they get to experience countries with different languages in the future. Besides, they’ll learn about new culture, and meet a new society. In addition, studies makes it clear that children who learns multiple languages at a young age does less mistakes in grammar and has an ability to understand other languages more effectively. On the other hand, to get a child to learn multiple languages can make the child confused. The child may get trouble with understanding the syntax and the grammar of his own language, as a result the child only get weak “links” in the different languages.

 

The last bit is a heavy sentence and you are kind of contradicting yourself by first stating that educating children in multiple languages enables them to properly grasp grammar then later you continue with them lacking this ability with their own language.Atleast that is how I read it.

If I may I'd like to give this text and attempt of my own

 

Your vocabulary is good but in my opinion a tad repetitive, I have coloured out the word language and it's variation.See what I mean ?

 

Hello!

 

Firstly, i didn't really meant to write "up to thousand different kinds", as the dictionary in Word changed the whole sentence construction. Actually, it was written " up to thousands different kinds of languages".

 

Secondly, I thought of "hardly, understandble" as "cool" words to use. And thats why i used the words in the sentence. I don't think there is anything wrong with that sentence? Because in other words, it means: "some languages are extremely difficult to understand".

 

Why did you point out "changed so much" as wrong. I dont see anything wrong with that phrase!

 

Thirdly, you marked the following phrase as well: "the experts have gone a step further by arugmenting with that our Childs should learn more languages." Why is that wrong? In Norwegian it means like "Ekspertene har gått videre ved å argumentere at...:" . It looks a bit old to me as well, but i don't understand whats wrong with the sentence. It would be great if you could show me a better way to write that sentence.

 

I'll just have to ask you again. What is wrong with the second marked sentence in the first pharagraph. "stupid? Read on, maybe you’ll have the answer in the end of the article. "

 

Furtermore, you have pointed out a big part of the ending part as "heavy" written. I completely agree with you that the the part may have some arguments where I'm contradicting with myself. But i dont really see that the text is "heavy". It looks as normal as the previous sentences, isn¨t it? (I think you are into something, because my teacher pointed out some "heavy" sentences as well".)

 

You did a great job marking the "language" words, as it made me understand how often i used the word.

Yes, you are absoloutely right about that!

 

Again,

 

I really appreciate that you are helping me out with this problem,

Thanks man!

[technicality]

Hello!

 

Firstly, i didn't really meant to write "up to thousand different kinds", as the dictionary in Word changed the whole sentence construction. Actually, it was written " up to thousands different kinds of languages".

 

Secondly, I thought of "hardly, understandble" as "cool" words to use. And thats why i used the words in the sentence. I don't think there is anything wrong with that sentence? Because in other words, it means: "some languages are extremely difficult to understand".

 

Why did you point out "changed so much" as wrong. I dont see anything wrong with that phrase!

From a grammatical view there is nothing wrong with the sentence, but I would write

 

Thirdly, you marked the following phrase as well: "the experts have gone a step further by arugmenting with that our Childs should learn more languages." Why is that wrong? In Norwegian it means like "Ekspertene har gått videre ved å argumentere at...:" . It looks a bit old to me as well, but i don't understand whats wrong with the sentence. It would be great if you could show me a better way to write that sentence.

 

I'll just have to ask you again. What is wrong with the second marked sentence in the first pharagraph. "stupid? Read on, maybe you’ll have the answer in the end of the article. "

 

Furtermore, you have pointed out a big part of the ending part as "heavy" written. I completely agree with you that the the part may have some arguments where I'm contradicting with myself. But i dont really see that the text is "heavy". It looks as normal as the previous sentences, isn¨t it? (I think you are into something, because my teacher pointed out some "heavy" sentences as well".)

 

You did a great job marking the "language" words, as it made me understand how often i used the word.

Yes, you are absoloutely right about that!

 

Again,

 

I really appreciate that you are helping me out with this problem,

Thanks man!

 

It being so late as it is, I will have to get back to you on responding to your questions. but here is atleast part of your text as how I would write it.

 

And dont get me wrong. I am in no way trying to insult you. the sentences I marked was not grammatically wrong, I would just have perhaps chosen to write them differently.

About the "stupid" it's just a no-no You are writing a serious text and stupid just seems out of place you know ?

 

I do realize that I might be doing more harm than good through "helping" you as you already mentioned that you tend to become stuck on rewriting sentences for longer than needed.

And that is exactly what I am telling you to do

Wish you had more time. because I'm sure all you need is just practice, But I'll try to help you as much as I can if you are still interested,and find it to help you of course

 

 

In the world we may find a diversity of languages which spans in the thousands, while some are easily learnt others gives us great difficulty not only in pronounciation but to learn at all.

The advancement in technology has given us the leisure to read foreign texts in our native tongue thanks to a moments click on a button translating it. The introduction of the internet has narrowed the distances of the world enabling us to actively seek out diversity of cultures and countries and at our fingertips giving us the ability to enrich both our vocabulary and knowledge.

With the world becoming such a “small place” the experts argues that the new generation should grasp this opportunity and be given a bi-lingual or in some cases tri-lingual basis of vocabulary through having classes of several languages in school. As with all arguments there are people opposed, is it really such a atrocity ?

Read on, perhaps you will be able to answer that for yourself.

Endret 11. desember 2012 av technicality

[Hank Moody]

Just a quick advice, don't use "like", "cool" etc. in academic essays. Try to simplify the sentences, most teachers prefer to read short, concise sentences.

Endret 12. desember 2012 av Hank Moody

[NeEeO]

 

 

It being so late as it is, I will have to get back to you on responding to your questions. but here is atleast part of your text as how I would write it.

 

And dont get me wrong. I am in no way trying to insult you. the sentences I marked was not grammatically wrong, I would just have perhaps chosen to write them differently.

About the "stupid" it's just a no-no You are writing a serious text and stupid just seems out of place you know ?

 

I do realize that I might be doing more harm than good through "helping" you as you already mentioned that you tend to become stuck on rewriting sentences for longer than needed.

And that is exactly what I am telling you to do

Wish you had more time. because I'm sure all you need is just practice, But I'll try to help you as much as I can if you are still interested,and find it to help you of course

 

 

 

 

In the world we may find a diversity of languages which spans in the thousands, while some are easily learnt others gives us great difficulty not only in pronounciation but to learn at all.

The advancement in technology has given us the leisure to read foreign texts in our native tongue thanks to a moments click on a button translating it. The introduction of the internet has narrowed the distances of the world enabling us to actively seek out diversity of cultures and countries and at our fingertips giving us the ability to enrich both our vocabulary and knowledge.

With the world becoming such a “small place” the experts argues that the new generation should grasp this opportunity and be given a bi-lingual or in some cases tri-lingual basis of vocabulary through having classes of several languages in school. As with all arguments there are people opposed, is it really such a atrocity ?

Read on, perhaps you will be able to answer that for yourself.

 

WOW,how old are you? Have you studied English earlier? because this is far more than excellent. Its perfect! This is what i dream about, but what i never will achieve.

I'll get back to you later today, due to school.

Endret 11. desember 2012 av ZPAS

[technicality]

 

 

WOW,how old are you? Have you studied English earlier? because this is far more than excellent. Its perfect! This is what i dream about, but what i never will achieve.

I'll get back to you later today, due to school.

 

How is the practice coming along? Never heard back from you

[NeEeO]

How is the practice coming along? Never heard back from you

 

Hello, mate!

 

I'm really sorry for not having answered yesterday. Actually, it was not really my fault as i had problems with my internet. It kept shutdown several times, so i had not apportunity to write back to you. But the good news is that the internet is up and working again!

 

Well, now when you have got my exuse, lets get back to the case!

Yesterday i did some reading. A nice guy gave me some advice, and told me to do the following: I tried to find out what i think will show up on the mock exam, and hopefully today i'll write some pharagraps about that topic after training, of course.

 

But now i'm going to hit "gym"(In other words, play football), as you Englishmen say

Technicality, i hope you reply, and i'll answer you back this time!

I hope to get a five on the moch-exam, i worry about it all the time!

 

Thanks,

Endret 12. desember 2012 av ZPAS

[technicality]

Hello, mate!

 

I'm really sorry for not having answered yesterday. Actually, it was not really my fault as i had problems with my internet. It kept shutdown several times, so i had not apportunity to write back to you. But the good news is that the internet is up and working again!

 

Well, now when you have got my exuse, lets get back to the case!

Yesterday i did some reading. A nice guy gave me some advice, and told me to do the following: I tried to find out what i think will show up on the mock exam, and hopefully today i'll write some pharagraps about that topic after training, of course.

 

But now i'm going to hit "gym"(In other words, play football), as you Englishmen say

Technicality, i hope you reply, and i'll answer you back this time!

I hope to get a five on the moch-exam, i worry about it all the time!

 

Thanks,

 

Happens to the best of us, yeah let me know when you're back,lets find out what I can do for you

[NeEeO]

hello! I'm back. But how can you help me? do you want something sent to you? Your help is important to me.

[technicality]

hello! I'm back. But how can you help me? do you want something sent to you? Your help is important to me.

 

Sent you a pm