Noen som vil se over engelsk stil?

[TheNarsissist]

Hei, har en engelsk stil som skal leveres i morgen. Sliter litt med engelsk og lurte på om noen kunne se over å go meg tilbakemedling.

 

På forhånd takk.

 

 

 

Task_D_Anders.docx

[NikkaYoichi]

Rettinger til første avsnitt.

 

In this article, I’m going to talk about how literature and films can make people, more aware of social inequality. Social inequality is situations where people in a society, do not have equal social status. Areas of social inequality, can be voting rights, education, healthcare, skin color, religion, sex and race.

 

This article will discuss how literature and movies, might make people more aware of social inequality. Social inequality are situations where differences in social status are apparent. Examples of such areas are; voting, education, health care, skin color, religion and sex.(neppe nødvendig å ta med rase, når du allerede har nevnt hudfarge.)

 

Det er viktig at du lærer deg å bruke "are" fremfor "is" når det er flertall. Et annet tips er at du bør prøve å unngå å "tenke norsk" for så å oversette til engelsk, da det du skriver bærer preg av det. Jeg har ikke tid til å gå gjennom mer av teksten din, da jeg er på vei ut døra. Lykke til.

 

Red.: Jeg ser også at du veksler mye mellom å bruke "film" og "movie". Hold deg til en av begrepene er mitt råd. Jeg ville holdt meg til begrepet "movie".

 

Denne setningen gir ingen mening: "Frank McCourt father’s alcoholism and the tragic deaths of his siblings."

 

DET er alt jeg rakk.

Endret 3. april 2011 av NikkaYoichi

[Skandinav]

Hjertelig takk, denne vil min sønn ha nytte av :-)

Men må jo gi noe tilbake: Rettet og klart passe mye for at den fremdeles skal bære ditt preg. Den kan jo ikke være skoleboksperfekt. Du bruker for mye komma. Husk også at på engelsk brukes ikke komma før but eller før and. Det er bare i norge...

In this article, I’m going to talk about how literature and films can make people more aware of social inequality. Social inequality are situations where people in a society, do not have equal social status. Areas of social inequality can be; voting rights, education, healthcare, skin color, religion, sex and race.

I’m going to use the movies "Rabbit Proof Fence" and "Angela’s ashes" which are both based on books. The movie Rabbit Proof Fence, is an Australian drama-film made by Phillip Noyce and based on the book with the same name, by the author Doris Pilkington Garimara. The book and movie is based on a true story about the author’s mother, and two other mixed-race aboriginal girls. The aboriginal girls ran away from the Moor River Native Settlement north of Perth in order to get back to their aboriginal families. The movie follows the girls as the walk for nine weeks, along the rabbit proof fence which was 2400km long. They aim to get back to Jigalong, whilst being chased by a white authority man, and an aboriginal tracker.

The drama film Angela’s Ashes, is based on the memoir with the same title, by Frank McCourt. The film was directed by Alan Parker.

The film tells the story about Frank McCourt and his childhood. His family was forced to move from America and back to Ireland because of money problems, family problems and because of the father’s alcoholism. The film shows young McCourt’s life in the town of Limerick in Ireland, during his childhood in the 1930s and 40s. After a while he earned enough money to return to the land of his dream, America.

The story inn Rabbit Proof Fence which actually is true, tells us about the stolen generation. Stolen generation is a term for mixed aboriginal children who were taken away from their families by the Australian federal and state government. The removals of the children took place between approximately 1869 and 1969. In some places children were still being taken in the 1970s.

The government took the children because they wanted to civilize them. They wanted them to go to school and learn about Christianity and God. They just took them away from their parents. Later they learned, that what they did was really wrong. On the 11th December 2007, the new Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, announced that an apology would be made to indigenous Australians.

On 27 January 2008, Rudd announced that the apology would be made on or after the first day of parliament in Canberra, on the 12th February. The date was later set to 13th February, when it was ultimately issued.

The movie Angela’s Ashes, also deals with social inequality. There is a clear message about poverty and the social classes in the story. Frank McCourt father’s alcoholism and the tragic deaths of his siblings. It’s all a puzzle of the poorness the family is living in.

The Poverty strips the family of health and also of worthiness. Having to beg from a priest is a very low point for Angela. The boys go to work young and still have to beg and steal to avoid hunger. Frank really wants to continue at school but can’t get ahead. He is too poor to get recognized by the school.

Personally; I think literature and films can make people more aware of social inequality. These two films I have used, are really god examples. There may be hundreds of other great examples. They remind us about mistakes humanity have done in the past. Because of the literature and films, we will never forget. Because of the book "Uncle Tom's cabin", people will always be aware of the slavery in the United States of America. Because of the movie "Titanic", people will never forget how most of the poor passengers died. Most because all the rich passengers got seats in the lifeboats. Also because of the movie "Schindler's List", people who have seen it, are aware of all the cruel things the Nazis did too the Polish-Jewish refugees during the Holocaust.

My conclusion is, yes. Literature and films can, do and will make people more aware of social inequality. Especially films that can learn teenagers about it. Rabbit proof fence and Angela’s Ashes are two really great examples of that and I think we will see many more great examples on that in the future.

Endret 3. april 2011 av TOMpsy

[TheNarsissist]

Tusen takk, ser jeg hadde endel komma feil ja. Det skal rettes opp.