Need norwegian opinions :p

[Gjest Norwegian guy]

I wrote him a text message this morning that he should not contact me again,

until he is ready to actually talk to me.

 

I hope I'll distract myself when I go to Berlin, I'll just imagine he doesn't exist.

 

I still can't believe waited 3 weeks to hear "i still gotta make up my mind", I feel so peed on, I'm a mess....

 

This answer may not be relevant any more if you've broken off, but thought I'd share my thoughts anyway.

 

I really know those long distance relationships can be really demanding and they require a lot of strength to pull it all through. I've been in a few in the past, all I can say it's demanding on both parts. Keeping a ldr alive requires continuous maintenance from both parties as well as planning ahead to set aside som calendar time in order to get to see each other.

 

However, your relationship seems to struggle with some additional challenges that you should probably sort out from what I've read and if I've got you right.

 

-He's into long breaks, often weeks and weeks to which you agree.

-He's getting mad at you because you don't do certaing things. Why?

-You're having a lot of arguments?

-You don't really stay that much in touch in general?

-There's no common ground; what does "having a break" mean in terms of being able to date others or not?

 

From my experience and some acquaintances that have also been into ldr's this stuff has often been the reason for breaking off and it seems you're very close to that point (if it hasn't happened already upon writing this) and imho it's the kind of stuff that needs to be settled before you can continue a long distance relationship. Some people here have argued that you've become like a stalker?

 

From what I read, that wasn't my interpretation. Obviously I don't know you, but as far as you're written in this thread it seems you're only trying to get an update of how he's doing and what he thinks which I myself find absolutely necessary in a relationship. I mean, if you're living in different places and don't use phone, skype, msn, mail or other means of talking when being apart there's really not much of a relationship at all if you ask me. A mutual interest in each others daily lives is essential, and it seems that he's not doing his part. While he's entitled to feel that he needs some time off to consider your relationship, he should also consider YOUR needs in the relationship, you're two to tango, and in a difficult situation like an ldr it's even more important that you can both be heard. Sounds like he doesn't consider it at all?

 

So, to sum it up, consider what -you- need in this relationship because you opinion should be valued as well, not just his. Assess whether you can live with this or not, because right now it sounds like it's hurting it more than it pleases you.

 

Hope all turns out well for you, whether this ends or not.

 

p.s. Don't give up on all Norwegians if your boyfriend turns out to be a moron, there's a lot more to us than old viking traditions and ancient ale

[ibizagirl]

I wrote him a text message this morning that he should not contact me again,

until he is ready to actually talk to me.

 

I hope I'll distract myself when I go to Berlin, I'll just imagine he doesn't exist.

 

I still can't believe waited 3 weeks to hear "i still gotta make up my mind", I feel so peed on, I'm a mess....

 

This answer may not be relevant any more if you've broken off, but thought I'd share my thoughts anyway.

 

I really know those long distance relationships can be really demanding and they require a lot of strength to pull it all through. I've been in a few in the past, all I can say it's demanding on both parts. Keeping a ldr alive requires continuous maintenance from both parties as well as planning ahead to set aside som calendar time in order to get to see each other.

 

However, your relationship seems to struggle with some additional challenges that you should probably sort out from what I've read and if I've got you right.

 

-He's into long breaks, often weeks and weeks to which you agree.

-He's getting mad at you because you don't do certaing things. Why?

-You're having a lot of arguments?

-You don't really stay that much in touch in general?

-There's no common ground; what does "having a break" mean in terms of being able to date others or not?

 

From my experience and some acquaintances that have also been into ldr's this stuff has often been the reason for breaking off and it seems you're very close to that point (if it hasn't happened already upon writing this) and imho it's the kind of stuff that needs to be settled before you can continue a long distance relationship. Some people here have argued that you've become like a stalker?

 

From what I read, that wasn't my interpretation. Obviously I don't know you, but as far as you're written in this thread it seems you're only trying to get an update of how he's doing and what he thinks which I myself find absolutely necessary in a relationship. I mean, if you're living in different places and don't use phone, skype, msn, mail or other means of talking when being apart there's really not much of a relationship at all if you ask me. A mutual interest in each others daily lives is essential, and it seems that he's not doing his part. While he's entitled to feel that he needs some time off to consider your relationship, he should also consider YOUR needs in the relationship, you're two to tango, and in a difficult situation like an ldr it's even more important that you can both be heard. Sounds like he doesn't consider it at all?

 

So, to sum it up, consider what -you- need in this relationship because you opinion should be valued as well, not just his. Assess whether you can live with this or not, because right now it sounds like it's hurting it more than it pleases you.

 

Hope all turns out well for you, whether this ends or not.

 

p.s. Don't give up on all Norwegians if your boyfriend turns out to be a moron, there's a lot more to us than old viking traditions and ancient ale

 

 

Hey there,

 

 

I wanted to reply earlier but didn't find the time, and now I don't find a reason.

He broke up with me 2 hours ago- after I actually felt things were good, talking every day on skype again etc.

Merry fucking Christmas to me.

 

As far as you are concerned, an honest merry Christmas to you

It felt kinda good reading your post. Thank you.

[Kubjelle]

At least you got closure.

 

But honestly, that guy sounds like a fucking wimp. He's not a man. You might not see it now, but in time you will realise what a shitbag he is.

 

Cheer up. You're an awesome girl! Never for get that.

[Klatt3n]

There's more norwegians in Norway than him! Though at this point I reckon you're not interested in either yet another norwegian nor a distance relationship. You do seem like a wonderful girl, so I hope things work out for you. Perfect girlfriend material, so I doubt you'll have troubles finding someone else. :3

[ibizagirl]

Hi there,

 

Thanks a lot for the nice answers

It's really good to read those things especially after i talked to him today and hearing that he broke up with me 2 months ago, when He wanted the so called "break" so he wonders what all my questions are since he told me everything... He was very lucky not to be anywhere near me or I would have strangled him

 

Anyway, I'm just stupid, it feels like day by day I get more reasons to hate him but nevertheless I have a hard time hating him

 

Guess I'm not using my head at all lol

 

So, I'll go back to passing out mode now, just watched "Gamle mænd i nye biler"

 

Thanks again for all the answers, it was really nice to read

 

-s

[MT.]

Hey there,

 

 

I wanted to reply earlier but didn't find the time, and now I don't find a reason.

He broke up with me 2 hours ago- after I actually felt things were good, talking every day on skype again etc.

Merry fucking Christmas to me.

 

As far as you are concerned, an honest merry Christmas to you

It felt kinda good reading your post. Thank you.

A somewhat delayed christmas greeting to you as well! And soon also a happy new year!

 

Sorry to hear about your breakup but I'm glad my post was somewhat helpful anyway. (Had to log in now, I'm "Norwegian guy"). These relationships are often harder than usual due to the lack of face to face contact, and even when you're breaking up as well since there is less chance to talk it over with your ex. I kinda know how it's like because I've made an attempt to carry out distance relationship myself, on three occations, and everytime it pretty much ended in disaster During my last distance relationship I too had the unpleasant excperience of lack of communication, more frequent arguments (which of course builds upon lack of communication in the first place) and a lot of unsecurity in general.

 

I guess I was the one who attempted to talk things out, but with a less communicative partner it's not that easy. When it feels like talking to a wall (Norwegian expression by the way), you can be as talkative as you'd like but if the receiver isn't listening anyway it's no good.

 

The good news is that you don't have to worry about meeting your ex unexpectedly just around the corner. There are miles in between you, and when I had the same experience, at least I found that to be helpful, because it allows you to recover faster. During breakup recovery it's actually a good thing not knowing what the ex is up to Also, after a while, it's better to get the cat out of the bag rather than being in an unstable relationship.

 

Anyway, hope you'll have a great remainder of this christmas, a great new years eve tonight and a better start of the new upcoming year!

 

Cheers.

[ibizagirl]

i dont know... the whole situation is fucked.

i called fot nye to wish him a happy new year and he said how much he loes me an how awesome i am etc and kept on saying nice things and that he wanted to see me so bad and that he was gonna come and see me in berlin.

i dunno.

he doeant remember the conversation even thou it was at likr 4pm and i feel peed on again.

 

 

he still screams at me when i dont do something the way he wants to etc, last time he strated insulting me for having an ipad and not being able to watch a youtube video answer on skype and reply to an email at once.

 

i took care of him when he was sick this week, so i called a couple of times to see if everythings ok and to make him feel better, cause i know how shit it is being sick alone, however since yesterday he treats me like shit again, guess he is healthy now....

 

oh and yesterday i was called a stalker cause i was playing a computer game and i guess he was playing it too? no clue..

 

i wonder what i ever did to deserve being blamed for all sorts of different things that i dont even have influence on.

 

i am aftaid to let go cause i i do that means he will be gone out of my life forever.

 

its poop.

and im completely confused again

[thomassit0]

He doesn't really sound that stable if you ask me, with his moodswings and whatnot. You deserve better

[. .Creation. .]

I will give him all the space he wants, if he would just tell me..

 

After 2 yrs of long distance relationship and 3 months before I could move in with him I think it might be bit late to realize he can't do it.

I know the world won't end, and of course I can find someone else and he can too, but he is special to me, he just means everything to me.. Completely different than with my previous boyfriends... For some weird reason he is a part of my heart!

I'm afraid I'll keep my hopes up while he is trying to get over me.

 

 

 

 

In case of a break up,

One more thing,

Am I crazy for wanting him to break with me to my face, or is it a common thing to break up Via SMS or msn in Norway?

 

Or do you think its something you should do face to face?

 

 

Do it face to face, is my opinion.. i've been broken up with via both sms and msn, and it's rediculously easy for the other part, but that really shows me what a coward they were! it sickens me just to think how little guts the other parts had, that didn't even dare to say it up in my face!

[dkny]

 

he doeant remember the conversation even thou it was at likr 4pm and i feel peed on again.

 

 

he still screams at me when i dont do something the way he wants to etc, last time he strated insulting me for having an ipad and not being able to watch a youtube video answer on skype and reply to an email at once.

 

i took care of him when he was sick this week, so i called a couple of times to see if everythings ok and to make him feel better, cause i know how shit it is being sick alone, however since yesterday he treats me like shit again, guess he is healthy now....

 

oh and yesterday i was called a stalker cause i was playing a computer game and i guess he was playing it too? no clue..

 

i wonder what i ever did to deserve being blamed for all sorts of different things that i dont even have influence on.

 

its poop.

 

 

 

....why EXACTLY do you like him?

 

He seems like a terrible person. Moodswings, screaming, blaming you, etc...

 

Is he very rich and pretty, or something?

 

Cause his personality seems fucked up to me.......

Endret 11. januar 2011 av dkny