Need norwegian opinions :p

[nems]

Without communication its hard to work things out.

 

To me it sounds very strange that someone would choose not to talk to their partner for extended periods of time. Perhaps he has some issues that you dont know about or havent told us?

 

Anyways, from what youre telling us i think he is treating you very badly, and i would take that kind of shit from someone i love. In addition if they dont want to talk about whatever it is that is the problem then there isnt much chance for things to work out.

 

Imagine you moving in with him and having to leave/move out every time he has a tantrum about something... And refusing to talk about it.. It wouldnt work.

 

But its pretty clear that you love him which makes things harder to sort out because you probably will hang on until the end, meaning that he will just continue to hurt your feelings until some day either you or him grow tired of it and breaks communication for good.

 

 

Its kinda like women getting beat up by their boyfriend and not leaving. Love is bad in that way, it kinda clouds your reasoning and prevents you from doing what is right, leaving.

[xdxdxd_hola_amigo]

Ever been in Norway? Maybe it's time time for a vacation, to save the reletionship or to end it one time for all.

[ibizagirl]

I went to norwayvery very often,

 

 

I booked a flight to surprise and see him two weeks ago and he found out and didn't want me to come. He said he told me needed a break so he doesn't want to see me.

 

I would book a flight for tonight right away, there is nothing I'd rather do than seeing him again, and preferably not leave..

 

I am very confused, first he snaps at me, then he feels bad then he ignores me then hangs out with girls (what he NEVER does)...

 

I talked to his mother and friends and they say I should just leave him alone until he is ready to talk again, but what if this will just bring us further apart? The only communication we can have being so far away is phone or skype, so If we don't talk there is no interaction at all...

 

I wanna call him so bad now, it's not even normal anymore...

 

The only thing that makes me believe that it'll turn out ok is that the two times this happened before (not as long though) he came back and apologized cause he just needed toe sure that he wanted to be all in with me.

 

 

Even though we have a long distance relationship, we talk almost every day for hours and now since a month hardly at all.. It's just sooooooon hard.

 

 

I hope when he gets the julekalender he will talk to me and hopefully end the break.

 

 

Thanks to all your responses so far, I know I'm a mess. And crazy.

[Jefe]

Just give it some time. And btw, we're all invited to the wedding right?

[ibizagirl]

i hope time is the right thing..

 

 

of course youre all invited, ill send the invitation cards out any time

 

 

this is what the calender looks like:

 

http://img690.imageshack.us/img690/1377/dsc0157s0.jpg

 

http://img820.imageshack.us/img820/7467/dsc0153es.jpg

 

 

Endret 29. november 2010 av ibizagirl

[Malvado]

Right now you are just acomplishing one thing : Hurting yourself.

 

The more you dwell on it and try to find out how he is doing, the worse the situation will become. Remember you both are now "out of the relationship" which means basically that you both need to find out of your feelings.

 

Thats why you don't need to see what he is doing, for example when you watched that Web Cam stream and realized that he was perhaps fucking some other girls, it did more damage to you than anything else, in fact you just doesnt need to know that , just like he doesnt need to know what you do to find out about your feelings unless you both have agreed to just "take a breather but not see anyone else".

 

Now, this doesnt mean that you should go out there and fuck every single guy you find, but it does mean that you should try to clear your mind and stop thinking about him and what he is thinking and doing the whole day. In fact you are dangerously close now to become a "stalker" and you really don't want that since it will really TEAR your remaining relationship appart.

 

So a few small advises :

 

*Stop calling him and texting him. Wait at least 2 weeks untill you send him an sms and ask him if he can find some time to talk.

*Don't even bother to call his familiy, no need really and it will just make it worse in some cases.

*Gifts are nice, but in your case I think you should not send him anyone yet because it might lean you towards the stalking part.

*And work with yourself. Clear your mind and try to relax a little bit. See your friends or do things that are fun for you and makes you stop thinking about him the whole time.

[ibizagirl]

hey,

 

 

i would agree with what you said, but he was clear, he doesnt want to break up, he wants a break, that means we are not out of this relationship, in my point of view.

 

i am not stalking him, i am leaving him alone, i dont call i dont text i dont do anythingt, and that is what makes it so hard for me! the webcam thing was an accident, i had the tab open from when he sent me the link..

 

regarding the family, i am not calling them, the occasionally talk to me on skype and ask how i am and how things are going...

 

the thing about the calender.. i got all the things before we decided to go on a break, and i thought about it a lot, whether i should send him or not, but in the end, he is still my boyfriend, and i got the things for HIM, not anyone else so i thought i migh as well send it off..

 

 

 

if i knew wtf he wants i would do it. as i previously mentioned when he wanted the break he couldnt tell me what it is he wanted, he was jut afraid of doing the wrong thing. when i asked if i should leave him alone he said i dunno, when i said should i call and are we still gonna talk he said i dunno too.. he didnt define what this break is so i dont know myself!

undefined break over an undefined amount of time.....

Endret 29. november 2010 av ibizagirl

[Malvado]

Well, as I understand it , he wants a "break" which is more or less :

 

*Have the opportunity to find out of his own feelings for you on his own without you influencing you.

*Talking to other girls and perhaps even having some short romances to test what he has with you.

 

All this and more is expected from a Break, I know it is hard for you but I'm glad you are not calling him and talking to him or his family and that the ones doing so are them. So basically what you need to do now is to focus on yourself and stop thinking so much about him and try to enjoy your days a little and liven up a bit.

 

And if you sent him the gift allready, well then don't worry, it was a sweet gift so hopefully he will call you and you can ask him if he wants to meet up and have a good talk with you.

[ibizagirl]

we cant meet up. im in vienna and he is oslo.

 

 

 

if taking a break means him having romances then he is cheating on me. thats the way i see it.

we are still bf and gf until he draws a clear line and/or breaks up.

 

 

 

 

 

Why can't I just leave

I'm still so in love

Endret 30. november 2010 av ibizagirl

[nems]

If its any comfort, you did nice work on that julekalender

[ibizagirl]

thank you unfortunately its still stuck in the post

Hope it'll at least pass customs fast...

 

 

Its been 3 weeks now since he said he wanted a break and almost a week since we last wrote on

And I still don't know what kind of break we are on.

It still sucks. Very bad. I just wanna call right now but I'm afraid it's the wrong thing to do

I guess I will wait till he receives it.

 

It's poop. Big pile of monkey poop.

[Hestekølle]

Why do you wanne have any thing to do with a norwegian anyway? We are very bad people. Infact, we have not evolved since the Viking-age. We are still drinking and shagging way more than anyone in the world.

[Jefe]

Maybe she likes that.

[ibizagirl]

lol trust me i ask myself the same thing, but there is something very awesome bout norwegians, i cant quite pinpoint it.. but like.. weird awesome and the shagging is definately not a downside

 

i wish i wasnt such a girl though and be able to distract myself too.

unfortunately no matter where i am or what i do i always think about him and wanna call him right away!

im disgustingly girly i know - i wish i wasnt though...

[ibizagirl]

Ok.. I AM freaking out.

 

He hit me up yesterday saying "I miss u..." then not replying then getting colder and colder.

He talked to me the whole afternoon, like we usually did but he said he can't talk about us.

I asked simple questions like can I expect to talk to you regularly again? How is it gonna continue?

Like before or more contact? How do you want to continue? He couldn't answer shit.

 

He doesn't wanna hear when I say nice things, he gets mad but says he misses and he loves me

And called me because he knows I like to play tunes too. (thats what he mainly did)

 

I feel worse than I did before.

 

I hung up on Skype yesterday after he gave me a super long pissed off breathing out and woke up today in tears.

I have the impression I'm just being kept around on the side.

 

I don't get it. I'm a nice girl, I am loving and caring of my boyfriend and I am always there when you need me, WTF am I doing wrong?

 

It sucks big time.

Endret 3. desember 2010 av ibizagirl

[Demonfudge]

End this now. I don't see the point of you two being together, to be honest.

[Hestekølle]

End this now. I don't see the point of you two being together, to be honest.

 

Neither do I. And even if you were together, how would your relationships be with that maddog in the house who is changing mood every second.

 

Tell him to fuck off and that you have found another one! Then he will really freak out and you'll see if he truly loves you or not.

[Demonfudge]

I think both of you have issues. I see you (ibizagirl) as pretty intense, and your boyfriend as somewhat dumb, in lack of a better word. If this is his way of a relationship, he should end it.

 

And you should end it because this isn't really a way to be treated.

 

I have the impression I'm just being kept around on the side.

Well, you are. When trying to talk to him doesn't help, then I think you are way better off leaving him.

 

Like Thor Heyerdahl would have said it: There is alweis more mose in de førrest and øil in de see etc.

[ibizagirl]

I wrote him a text message this morning that he should not contact me again,

until he is ready to actually talk to me.

 

I hope I'll distract myself when I go to Berlin, I'll just imagine he doesn't exist.

 

I still can't believe waited 3 weeks to hear "i still gotta make up my mind", I feel so peed on, I'm a mess....

[Datasmurf]

Aww, you poor thing.

Long distance relationships are teh suck.