need your advice!

[ibizagirl]

The reason why im posting here is cause i want the opinion of norwegian guys

dunno where else to post

 

Ok, so the problem is following,

 

Im in a long distance relationship.

We've been knowing eachothers for over 5 years, and im the person that knows most about him and the other way round. we've been dating since june 2009 and i truly believe he is the love of my life!

 

However, lately we have been having some troubles. everytime we see eachothers its like being in heaven, everything is just perfect! but when we dont see eachothers and talk online, or on skype its more of a problem (never used to be though).

 

Recently he stoped answering my phonecalls, or text messages, (he isnt a big fan of phones though) and he has been very insulting, calling me nasty names and snapping at me because of things that im not even responsible for.

 

tuesday he told me he needed space, a lot of it and i told him id respect that, however he should be tehre for me too when i need him. he said he loved me, and i know he would NEVER say that if he didnt mean it. i decided i wouldnt talk to him for the rest of the week, and leave him alone, give him his space but wednesday morning he wrote messages that he needed me (on msn). i replied and we had a cosy chat.

 

Today everything was cool again, but suddenly he got angry again(cause i talked to a close family memeber - he doesnt like it. i ended the conversation as soon as i knew he was bothered by saying that my boy was getting angry and deleted that person from my contacts), then he was nice again and then suddenly totally flipped out (cause "i ratted him out" and "talked about him behind his back" to that person).

he said im a fucking cunt, and that i annoyed him and that he didnt want me to call, message, email, or contact him whatsoever.

 

i dont wanna lose him for anything, and especially not for such a ridiculous thing.

in 6months the long distance relationship would be over and we could move together, until then, we are bound to our hometowns.

 

its the first time im actually posting bout my relationship, but i really dont know what to do and im afraid he'll break up with me.

 

please guys, give me some advice

 

xxx

Endret 3. desember 2009 av ibizagirl

[Gjest Slettet-1ZSK0pUMX2]

You should consider leaving him. Calling you things like that over and over again and blaming you for stuff your not even responsible is just lame. A person who respects and love another person doesn't act like that. You should not accept that kind of behaviour at all. Atleast, that is what I think.

Endret 3. desember 2009 av Slettet-1ZSK0pUMX2

[ibizagirl]

thx for the reply

 

 

i know i can be a huge pain in the ass, i am very clingy at times and i need lot of attention and reassurance and i know its not that easy for a guy when he needs space.

 

The thing that i just dont get is why this only happens when we ARENT together.

if those things happened when we see each otehrs i wouldnt think twice. but i have an insanely great time with him, never had such a good time with anyone before.

i dont wanna break up with him. i just could never do it.

 

things he blames me for that im not responsible for are like,

we played a game online and talked on skype, i said i went to the kitchen, my phone started ringing in my room and he completely freaked out cause the phone was ringing.

or

bad connection when talking on skype and i dont hear what he says.

 

what i know for sure, is that im not gonna contact him for now, wait til he is ready again, but im scared that when he is ready again itll be the end

 

 

 

xxx

[Getingar]

I'm not Norweigan, but Okay.

 

 

Save yourself. Love is blind.

This guy is antisocial and his behaviour is aswell.

 

Look up psychopat on wikipedia, and you'll learn all about people like him.

 

Take care.

[ibizagirl]

hey,

 

thanks for your reply.

 

funny you mention this, cause he also thought that cause there is a case in his close family too.

 

i got an apology so far at least, didn't see that one coming.

 

dont really know whats gonna happen...!

 

 

 

xxx

[ibizagirl]

ok, i have one last important question.

 

 

today, my boy and i are gonna have a long talk (on the phone) cause he asked me if i wanted to continue like this!

 

 

id do anything to make this work, eventhough like this it wont work!

 

what should i say? how should i react?

any ideas?

 

 

xxx

[Getingar]

Tell him that if he ever beats you, yells at you for no reason or tries to keep you from your friends and family - you'll leave him forever.

[Mr_Decisive]

This doesnt sound like a very healthy relationship.

 

I think you have started being too much dependent of him. You feel like you need him!

 

But from my point of view he doesnt need you in the same way, at least he doesnt realise. Calling you names and refusing you to talk to family members is not the way to treat your girlfriend. He must have a problem, and he needs to fix that in order for you two to be tohether.

 

But honestly I think it is going to be hard!

 

In a situation like this I know that I would have tried everything I could to make it work, but I think the right thing to do is to make him work.

 

If he loves you, he will improve.

[Arinomi]

As stated earlier, he might be suffering from some kind of psychosis. He seems very manipulative, and will probably say and do whatever he needs to be able to have you nearby and abuse you like he does. I recommend using the shiny "Block" button

Endret 10. desember 2009 av Arinomi

[HValder]

People here should be more careful when using terms such as psychopath, there are actually a large number of criteria that needs to be met before you can describe someone as psychopathic.

 

That said, this really doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, you should at least consider getting out of it.

[Gjest Slettet-1ZSK0pUMX2]

People here should be more careful when using terms such as psychopath, there are actually a large number of criteria that needs to be met before you can describe someone as psychopathic.

 

I agree. Many people aren't psycopath, just assholes.

[ibizagirl]

I know we are both weird and that we have issues, I know he wouldn't hurt me consciously on purpose, he feels bad afterwards .

 

A year later now we are on a break but I think its over now anyway and my world is colliding because I'm not only losing the person I love the most but my bestes friend . I just tried to be a good girlfriend, loving, caring and giving but I must have failed..nat some point.. I even made a new thread cause everything is going to he'll now...

 

 

S