Cybersex gone wrong

[aurstad]

Fant dette paa et annet forum:

 

 

So I was having cybersex the other day.

It was pretty good I guess. Here it is:

 

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey...

bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.

bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

bloodninja: Baby?

 

Yeah it was pretty sweet.

 

 

 

 

This one was good.

 

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

 

 

 

 

This kinda sucked.

 

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh shit

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.

eminemBNJA: Oh shit

eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

 

 

 

 

Ew this chick was nasty. Yeeeeaah.

 

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?

bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?

Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.

bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:

bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.

(pause)

Katie_007: is that it?

bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.

bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?

Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?

(pause)

bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.

bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.

Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.

bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.

bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT.

Katie_007: ...

bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.

Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.

bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.

Katie_007: whatever.

[Exeter]

HELT KONGE

 

Den fortjener 4 lol's

 

 

.exe

[Gjest Slettet-QqZexW9o]

Den mannen må være syk LL

[Gabriel_X]

Konge!

[fUsiOn]

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.  

BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.  

eminemBNJA: Oh shit

 

Ser det for meg at han driter seg ut..

Morosomt... denne mannen starter bra, men slutter jo med helt absurde ting.. Han må være syk..

[BolleKalle]

ehm.. dere skjønner at han kødder med kvinnfolka ikkesant?

[fUsiOn]

ehm.. dere skjønner at han kødder med kvinnfolka ikkesant?

 

Ja? Men han er fortsatt syk.

[RickyP]

Utrolig bra!!

[vaskiZ]

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.  

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.  

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.  

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.  

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.  

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.  

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.  

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.  

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.  

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.  

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.  

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.  

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.  

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.  

j_gurli3: thats it.  

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.  

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

Kje fyr.

[osse-mon waits for alice]

Geniale, disse!!!

 

Noen flere?

[Skreeth]

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/archive/20...0623-cyber.html <-- lattis denne og

[BeCo]

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

 

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

 

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

 

Wellhung: OK.

 

Begynnelsen var bare helt konge dah!

 

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

 

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

[Josten]

Hehe! Nerdsex

[Myrsve]

Konge

[Outlook]

Hehe ganske morsomt ja

[alex100]

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/archive/20020623-cyber.html <-- lattis denne og

 

denne var bra. en del å lese, men verdt det!

 

og til de første tekstene:

[Thanatos]

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/archive/20020623-cyber.html <-- lattis denne og

 

Hohoh, den der var bra.. Lagra den under mappa mi "festli", der jeg har alt annet skøy!

[OlaTK]

genial