Musikk: sangtekst kritikk ønsket!

[ole_marius]

satt å spilte på gitar'n min i kveld og skrev en tekst som jeg ønsker kritikk på, har sikkert også enn del feil på min engelsk så si i fra når dere finner noe feil eller noe som kan forbedres

 

og for all del, ikke ha for store forhåpninger, dette er min første selv skrevende tekst

 

har før øvrig ingen navn på sangen så forslag ønskes også

 

Can you hear that someone needs your help?

 

But you just walked away like nothing ever happend

 

mabye you din't sow them, nor heard them

 

but do you know what? I know why

 

you trying to live in your own world, where no one needs help

 

 

but take a lesson from this my friend

 

everyone wil be alone some day

 

and then it's good to know you can go to someone

 

for if you read betwin the lines, we are all the same

 

 

can you see the little boy, scared and alone

 

if i where you, i'll reach out my arm

 

to let him know that i'am here, to let him know that i would help

 

but you just walked away like nothing ever happend

 

what i could see was a little boy all alone

 

 

but take a lesson from this my friend

 

everyone have been lost some time

 

and then it's good to know that you can ask someone

 

for if you read betwin the lines, we are all the same

 

 

can you see the lady who cryes in her phone

 

if i where you, i'll reach out my arm

 

to let her know that i'am here and i won't go

 

but you just walked away like nothing ever happend

 

what i could see was a lady one her one

 

 

but take a lesson from this my friend

 

now it's you who is all alone

 

you have no where to go, you have no one to ask

 

for if you read betwin the lines, we are all the same

 

 

i sow you sitting on the bench in the park

 

in a cold november night, watching the star

 

all alone i sow a tears on your chin

 

but i sow you, but i din't walked away

 

i reach out my arm and took your hand

 

 

Endret 2. juni 2009 av ole_marius

[Krillekongen]

satt å spilte på gitar'n min i kveld og skrev en tekst som jeg ønsker kritikk på, har sikkert også enn del feil på min engelsk så si i fra når dere finner noe feil eller noe som kan forbedres

 

og for all del, ikke ha for store forhåpninger, dette er min første selv skrevende tekst

 

har før øvrig ingen navn på sangen så forslag ønskes også

 

 

 

Jeg fikset litt feil her og der og endret litt hvor jeg syntes det passet. Jeg synes det var en fin tekst med et fint budskap Håper du lager den like fin med tanke på det musikale også

 

 

Can't you hear that someone needs your help?

 

You just walked away like nothing ever happened

 

Maybe you didn't see them or hear them

 

I think I know why

 

You're trying to live in your own world where no one needs help

 

 

Take a lesson from this my friend

 

Everyone will be alone someday

 

and then it's good to know you can go to someone

 

for if you read between the lines, we are all the same

 

 

can you see the little boy, scared and alone

 

if I were you, I'd reach out my arm

 

to let him know that I am here, to let him know that I would help

 

but you just walked away like nothing ever happened

 

what I could see was a little boy all alone

 

 

but take a lesson from this my friend

 

everyone has been lost sometime

 

and then it's good to know that you can ask someone

 

for if you read between the lines, we are all the same

 

 

can you see the lady who cries on her phone

 

if i were you, i would reach out my arm

 

to let her know that i am here and that i won't go

 

but you just walked away like nothing ever happened

 

what i could see was a lady on her own

 

 

but take a lesson from this my friend

 

now it's you who is all alone

 

you have no where to go, you have no one to ask

 

for if you read between the lines, we are all the same

 

 

i saw you sitting on a bench in the park

 

on a cold november night, watching the stars

 

all alone i saw tears on your chin

 

i saw you, but i didn't walked away

 

i reached out my arm and took your hand