Noen som gidder ta en titt på denne engelsk teksten? Isåfall fort. Oppdatert!

[Cazzo Grande]

Hei, bare lurer på om noen gidder å rette opp noen små eller store feil her, eller ting jeg bør endre/utelate. Altså ting som kan forbedre teksten. Men det må skje fort, skal leveres i morgen.

 

 

My Christmas holiday

My Christmas holiday has been very nice. There were some bad things though. I’ll tell about them later.

 

At the start of the vacation I was with my friend Khai and John Burnet, and we did nothing else but relaxing at Khais home. That was pretty awesome because I had stressed with school and competitions the past days so it was good to calm down. I just got a new pc some days before, so I spent the most of the time with my pc, and with testing out functions on it. Fortunately, Khai and John Burnet has got a lot of knowledge about pc’s which I don’t so they helped me with some basic things which prevent virus and things I don’t want to be in my computer.

 

The following days I planned a meeting with Tobias, and I went to him 21st December. He is 16 years old and lives in Refstad, so I had to go to Oslo to meet him. The reason we are friends is that we both are football freestylers. We usually meet each other in the weekends. I had a great time when I met him, and I got a lot of nice moves and tricks so I was very happy and he was also happy. Later the same day I went to Oslo S and then to Sandefjord, all by my own, I was a bit nervous though since it was the first time I went to Sandefjord alone.

 

I came to Sandefjord at night and met my grandparents there, and I also slept at their place the next days.

 

The next day I met another freestyler called Oliver which was an incredible nice guy. One of the coolest guys I’ve ever met. We freestyled all day long, and we also captured a lot, so now it’s a video of us on YouTube.

 

Then it was Christmas Eve. That day I won the freestyle competition that I participate in. That was an awesome Christmas gift. Later at the day, some other persons came (my dad, sister, uncle and aunt) and it was pretty nice to meet them. Then we ate some food, the traditional Christmas food which is not my favorite to say it that way... After that we ate some candies and cookies which tasted really good at the start but after some time it hurt in my stomach. Then we opened presents. I got a DVD, a CD and a book. The reason I didn’t get a lot of things is that the PC was a kind of a Christmas gift that I got before Christmas Eve. I was happy anyways. It had been an awesome day. I spent the rest of my time in Sandefjord relaxing in front of my PC. Some days later I went to my family on my dad’s site and we celebrated Christmas at the same way as we did in Sandefjord. This time I got a Poco Loco jacket, a DVD and some cash.

 

As soon as I came home, I talked with my friend August (not myself), and I planned to meet him the next day. And we did meet each other. I slept over at his place, and as you might guess, we did nothing but relaxing. This was from December 30th to New Year Eve. The New Year Eve was also nice but not in the start: I got a phone call from my dad telling that his friend Per-Willy and his kids, and his friend were going to stay at our place. I didn’t like that at all, I actually went mad. However, the night was very nice, and went over all expectations. 2nd January I went to Arendal to meet a freestyler called Anders aka. Azun. I went with my friend Tobias, and t was an awesome trip. This one went over all expectations as well. I came home Sunday 11:30 pm and that was the end of my vacation.

 

 

Endret 14. januar 2009 av Bolla29

[Gjest Slettet+981287349]

Anyway, ikke Anyways

Free style, ikke freestyle i følge open office.

PC`s, ikke pc`s

[Cazzo Grande]

Takker foresten for alle svar som eventuelt kommer og det som har kommet =)

[V_B]

which I don’t so they helped me with some basic things which provided virus and things I don’t want to be in my computer.

 

Which provided ? Altså, de gav deg hjelp med å få virus ? Er det "prevent" som i forhindre du er ute etter ?

 

16 (16 tallet her?)We met each other 21th December. He is 16 years old and lives in Refstad, so I had to go(travel) to Oslo to meet him. The reason we know each other is because of freestyle. We are both football freestylers and we usually meet each other to freestyle in the weekends

 

klarer du å finne flere ord eller formulere setningene litt her ? Freestyle og each other går veldig mye igjen akkurat her.

 

 

Edit: Så at du var 94 modell. Til å være 14 år så har du skrevet en god tekst ! Det jeg tror du kan øve deg på er å få mer flyt i teksten, slik at det ikke blir for mye oppremsing. Men du skal ha veldig kudos for rettskrivning så langt jeg kan se.

Endret 14. januar 2009 av Rosemount

[Cazzo Grande]

 

Which provided ? Altså, de gav deg hjelp med å få virus ? Er det "prevent" som i forhindre du er ute etter ?

 

16 (16 tallet her?)

klarer du å finne flere ord eller formulere setningene litt her ? Freestyle og each other går veldig mye igjen akkurat her.

 

 

Edit: Så at du var 94 modell. Til å være 14 år så har du skrevet en god tekst ! Det jeg tror du kan øve deg på er å få mer flyt i teksten, slik at det ikke blir for mye oppremsing. Men du skal ha veldig kudos for rettskrivning så langt jeg kan se.

De ga meg ikke virus. De forhindret virus. Ok, takk =) Skal prøve å reformulere litt.

 

Takk for at du syns teksten er bra, jeg fikk bare 4 i fjor så jeg er ekstra oppsatt på å få bedre siden jeg er ekstremt misfornøyd (læreren hadde vi bare i 7 av 18 timer). 16 tallet var noe fra en settning jeg slettet.

 

Edit: Nå har jeg oppdatert førsteposten =)

Endret 14. januar 2009 av Bolla29

[sm0]

Tok en titt på det! Håper det hjelper, leste gjennom greia en gang , og retta på litt. (skrev det i uthevet skrift )

Håper det hjelper!

 

 

Mvh Anders

 

*** edit: Doh, la ikke merke til det tidligere - den er vel allerede levert Jaja, håper det går bra for deg, OP Lykke til!

 

 

Hei, bare lurer på om noen gidder å rette opp noen små eller store feil her, eller ting jeg bør endre/utelate. Altså ting som kan forbedre teksten. Men det må skje fort, skal leveres i morgen.

 

 

My Christmas holiday

My Christmas holiday has been very nice. There were some bad things though. I’ll tell about them later.

 

At the start of the vacation I was with my friend Khai and John Burnet, and we did nothing else but relax at Khais home. That was pretty awesome because I had been stressed with school and competitions the past days so it was good to calm down. I just got a new pc some days ago, so I spent the most of the time with my pc, testing out functions on it. Fortunately, Khai and John Burnet have got a lot of knowledge about PCs which I don’t ,so they helped me with some basic things , such as preventing virus and things I don’t want to be in my computer.

 

The following days I planned a meeting with Tobias, and I went to him 21st December. He is 16 years old and lives in Refstad, so I had to go to Oslo to meet him. The reason we are friends is that we are both football freestylers. We usually meet each other in the weekends. I had a great time with him, and I learned a lot of nice moves and tricks so I was very happy, and so was he. Later the same day I went to Oslo S and then to Sandefjord, all by my own. I was a bit nervous though since it was the first time I went to Sandefjord alone.

 

I came to Sandefjord at night and met my grandparents there, and I also slept at their place the next days.

 

The next day I met another freestyler called Oliver which was an increadibly nice guy. One of the coolest guys I’ve ever met. We freestyled all day long, and we also filmed a lot, so now it’s a video of us on YouTube.

 

Then it was Christmas Eve. That day I won the freestyle competition that I participated in. That was an awesome Christmas gift. Later that day, some other people came (my dad, sister, uncle and aunt) and it was pretty nice to meet them. Then we ate some food, the traditional Christmas food which is not my favorite to put it that way... After that we ate some candy and cookies which tasted really good at the start but after some time it hurt in my stomach. Then we opened presents. I got a DVD, a CD and a book. The reason I didn’t get a lot of things is that the PC was a kind of a Christmas gift that I got before Christmas Eve. I was happy anyway. It had been an awesome day. I spent the rest of my time in Sandefjord relaxing in front of my PC. Some days later I went to my family on my dad’s side and we celebrated Christmas in the same way as we did in Sandefjord. This time I got a Poco Loco jacket, a DVD and some cash.

 

As soon as I came home, I talked with my friend August (not myself), and I planned to meet him the next day. And we did meet each other. I slept over at his place, and as you might guess, we did nothing but relax. This was from December 30th to New Years Eve. The New Years Eve was also nice but not in the start: I got a phone call from my dad , saying that his friend Per-Willy and his kids, and his friend were going to stay at our place. I didn’t like that at all, I actually got mad. However, the night was very nice, and exceeded all expectations. 2nd January I went to Arendal to meet a freestyler called Anders aka. Azun. I went with my friend Tobias, and it was an awesome trip. This one exceeded all expectations as well. I came home Sunday 11:30 pm and that was the end of my vacation.

 

Endret 15. januar 2009 av sm0

[Cazzo Grande]

Takk, nå tipper jeg at jeg får en 4'er. Hater læreren. Skal si hva jeg fikk når jeg får den tilbake.