Bash.org, verdens mest geniale nettside?

[pumazz]

http://www.bash.org verdens mest geniale nettside?

 

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<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b

<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?

<BonyNoMore> wait

<BonyNoMore> never mind

 

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<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?

<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?

<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

 

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<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.

<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.

<Ben174> : Where u work?

<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com

*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

 

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<NES> lol

<NES> I download something from Napster

<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done

<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"

<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

 

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<MasterG> ........................................ .............................

..................................

<judas> where's pacman when you need him?

 

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<studdud> what the fuck is wtf

 

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<Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as shit

<Quake-Hat> i think i will masturbate to her while i play with my balls

<bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother

<Quake-Hat> Jesus-fucking christ!!!

 

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<DigiGnome> Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.

<DigiGnome> I need my socks.

 

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<Raize> can you guys see what I type?

<vecna> no, raize

<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

 

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<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers

 

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<blazemore> omg i love this song

<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)

<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song

 

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<Kurt> Who would win in a fight, Batman or Jesus?

<jre> Batman

<egg> Batman

<jre> Does Jesus have a Christ-mobile or a utility belt? NO.

 

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<rastie> i teached my kid sister a good lesson

<Murdock> I'm guessing it wasn't an english lesson..

 

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Les også: http://www.bash.org/?642195 og http://www.bash.org/?416857

[MSg]

Jah, men noe av vitsen er vel å lese dem der..?

[Sureño]

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right

BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...

BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH

BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU

BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES

BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY

BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES

BlackAdder> IN FACT

BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW

BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE

BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG

*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*

*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right

CRCError> right

heartless> Right.

r3v> right

[No14]

<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar

<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke

<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet

<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied

<emoti_conartist> lol

<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy

<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open

<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit

<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha

<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM

<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'

<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face

<cassius_clay13> and runs away

<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

 

 

moahahahah lættis!

[Sveern]

Fy faen så bra sie

 

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm

<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then

<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass

<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat

[someOen]

<beser> Today my History class took a feild trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Its a museum showing kids not to be prejudice and all that good stuff.

<beser> Anyways, one exhibit is two doors next to each other. One door has a sign hanging over it saying "Those with prejudice walk through this door" The other door's sign said "Those without prejudice walk through this door". Obviously the door for people without prejudice isn't openable because as the tour guide says "Everyone has prejudice".

<beser> So, I start tugging on the door and say "What the hell is wrong with this damn door, did some damn Jew make this?" and the tour guide kicked me out and i had to sit in the bus for 15 minutes

 

Hahaha.

Endret 7. desember 2008 av someOen

[Dynejonas]

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm

being an asshole -

<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

[Blåbær]

<Supra87T> aw, for shits sake!

<Snipa> what?

<Supra87T> remember sarah? well, the other night we fucked, and now i have to get tested for aids.

<Snipa> Think positive

<Supra87T> fuck you man, thats not even funny

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<CrazySpence> i read a brit/canadian magazine an its full of all these hints an tips for kinky ways of sex...look at an american mag an its {why cant my man get it up} {does my fat ass turn my man off} {my man last 30seconds or less}

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<InvisableMan> with the new P4s and the amd opteron...

<Wish> Apple getting bashed everywhere

<InvisableMan> apple is the chick at the bukakke party

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<wordup> i talk very little

<mop> font size 2?

[Raytee]

<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it

<spitfire> haha mendo

<spitfire> take a screen shot

<spitfire> wait

<spitfire> that made no sense

---------------------------

Hahaha, god start på morgenen =D.

[Gjest]

Mange bra der ^^

[Blue Scholar]

  No14 skrev:

<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar

<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke

<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet

<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied

<emoti_conartist> lol

<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy

<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open

<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit

<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha

<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM

<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'

<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face

<cassius_clay13> and runs away

<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

 

 

moahahahah lættis!

 

Hahahaa, beste

[AllFather]

Bash.org er vel en bra side, men er ikke akkurat en nyhet.

Den ble vel opprettet før superkontinentene gikk fra hverandre.....

[AlecTBM]

(La inn litt spoilere for å få litt orden )

 

  Vis skjult innhold

 

Denne er fin

  http://www.bash.org/?99835 skrev:

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?

<TheXPhial> vaccuums

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?

<TheXPhial> black holes

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?

<TheXPhial> lava?

 

 

og

 

  Vis skjult innhold

 

  http://www.bash.org/?287414 skrev:

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk

<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first

<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out

<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh

<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?

<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?

<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.

<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now

<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure

<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this

<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.

quit: (DeadMansHand)

<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day

<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts

join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)

<PeteRepeat> fucking ken

<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot

<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.

<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.

<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.

quit: (PeteRepeat)

<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.

<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT1:

 

  Vis skjult innhold

 

Favoritten min:

 

  http://www.bash.org/?207373 skrev:

<anamexis> oh man

<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right

--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind

<anamexis> and it exploded

<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard

<anamexis> but I got it away just in time

<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)

<anamexis> :<

 

  http://www.bash.org/?835030 skrev:

<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!

<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key

<Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!

<Judge-Mental> fuck me

 

  http://www.bash.org/?602698 skrev:

<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed

<ktp753>ouch.

<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad

 

 

  Vis skjult innhold

 

  http://www.bash.org/?21516 skrev:

<turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.

<Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?

<turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !

<Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?

<turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.

<Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.

[Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?

[Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!

[Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.

[Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)

[Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.

[Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .

[Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT2:

 

  Vis skjult innhold

 

  http://www.bash.org/?125283 skrev:

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?

<Indidge> umm....nothing?

<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?

<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?

<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

 

  http://www.bash.org/?670375 skrev:

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z

<JonTG> wait, shit

 

  http://www.bash.org/?262353 skrev:

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike

<goatboy> what?

<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.

<goatboy> er?

<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.

<goatboy> and?

<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.

<goatboy> ...

<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.

<goatboy> i dont get it

<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.

<goatboy> bastard

 

 

  http://www.bash.org/?142934 skrev:

docsigma2000: jesus christ man

docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead

c8info: Why?

docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE

docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE

docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts

c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.

docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK

docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???

docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much

c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.

docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.

docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead

c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.

** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

 

  http://www.bash.org/?368808 skrev:

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now

<@Sony> ...........

<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI

<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing

<Malpine> Thanks for the info

<@David> eh?

<@David> damn i meant PAID

<@David> I get PAID today

<@David> dammit

 

 

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  http://www.bash.org/?777977 skrev:

<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.

<Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.

<Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”

<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.

<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.

 

 

 

  http://www.bash.org/?334331 skrev:

<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder

<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed

<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"

<LordChewy> "i know dad"

<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"

<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"

<LordChewy> and he just shut up

<kingKahn> what is it?

<LordChewy> its his porn folder

 

  http://www.bash.org/?362137 skrev:

<reo4k> just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc

* luckyb1tch has quit IRC (r`heaven)

* r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven)

* sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven)

* phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven)

* blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven)

<ibaN`reo4k[ex]> that's gotta hurt

<r`heaven>

 

 

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  http://www.bash.org/?790133 skrev:

<third_planet> The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home.

<third-planet> So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car.

<third-planet> We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot..

<Mr-Butlertron> The logic is all there...

<third-planet> I know, it was a ridiculous idea. We were just desperate and that was the first place to pull off..

<third-planet> So we park in the back of the parking lot under this tree, and it's dark out, so we figure we're secluded enough. We start to light up and a cop pulls in. So we both sit really still and hope the cop will think the car is empty and just parked there. Or that he won't notice.

<third-planet> The cop circles the parking lot once, then parks behind us and we're both freaking out. So Bobby, my friend, takes all the pot and shoves it in the glove compartment. But the car smells like pot, so we figure we're busted.

<third-planet> So Bobby says we've gotta distract the cop from the pot. In a huge flash, he rips his shirt off, undoes my pants and sticks his hand inside. Before I can process what's happening, the cop knocks on my window. Then he looks in and sees Bobby shirtless, with his hand down my pants and turns bright red.

<third-planet> I roll my window down and the cop says in this really flustered voice, his face bright red, "you guys be good now" and walks quickly back to his car and drives off.

<third-planet> He didn't even notice the smell of pot.

<third-planet> We drove home in the most uncomfortable fucking silence ever.

 

 

 

  http://www.bash.org/?126218 skrev:

<WiLdSeXyPrInCeSs> i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals???

<XeNoX> Still in the Garden Of Eden you gullible bitch.

 

 

 

EDIT3:

 

 

  Vis skjult innhold

 

  http://www.bash.org/?369 skrev:

<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P

 

  http://www.bash.org/?185361 skrev:

<Fenris> My mom found me perusing bash.org and looking up quotes about incest, and was like OMG!

<Fenris> Now she actually goes there regularly to make sure there aren't any new text words that have been searched for

<Fenris> I saw her looking at the site yesterday, and was like, "WTF??"

<Fenris> And she said she was just checking to see what kind of stuff I look at online.

<Fenris> I swear, someday I'm just going to rape that bitch.

<ctone> ...

<ctone> now theres a quote for bash.org

<Fenris> Don't you fucking dare.

 

  http://www.bash.org/?352172 skrev:

<NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor

<rycool> ...

<NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door.

<NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.

 

  http://www.bash.org/?163301 skrev:

<BigBurk> God i really cant stand windows me

<Felacio> heh i know. i moved to win2k

* Felacio sucks huge cock

<Felacio> errr ME, not /me

 

  http://www.bash.org/?574642 skrev:

* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT

<Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?

 

  http://www.bash.org/?6562 skrev:

<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex

<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

 

 

  Vis skjult innhold

 

  http://www.bash.org/?758379 skrev:

< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west

< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph

< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road

< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway

< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us

< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop

< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell

< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes

< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"

< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license

< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground

< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen

< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"

< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently

< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live

< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail

 

 

 

 

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  http://www.bash.org/?488793 skrev:

<evilada>: Best suicide plan ever

<mcm310>: what is it?

<evilada>: you go up to the top of a roof

<evilada>: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level

<evilada>: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched

<evilada>: then you put super glue on your hands

<evilada>: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head

<evilada>: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows

<evilada>: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.

<evilada>: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.

<mcm310>: i dont think i can be your friend anymore

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT4:

 

  Vis skjult innhold

 

  http://bash.org/?10739 skrev:

* Spoon casts Wall of Silence

*** Spoon sets mode: +m

<Goku> why?

<Spoon> Because exo went insane

<Goku> no, he just brought his insanity up to another level

* Sentinel checks..

*** Sentinel sets mode: -m

<exogen> THERE'S BUTTER ON MY FACE!

*** Sentinel sets mode: +m

 

  http://bash.org/?860040 skrev:

<JoshtheRipper> Brad do you have any issues with " burn in " on your plasma?

<KnaveBrad> nope

<JoshtheRipper> kool

<JoshtheRipper> How well does it handle blacks

<KnaveBrad> I have it bolted to the wall, so they can't really take it without some serious work

 

 

Det var de jeg fant til nå, må få starta å skrive litt notater til tentamen i morra (klokka er 22:17 nå xD)

 

EDIT4:

Funka ikke så bra å kun skrive notater :/

 

  Vis skjult innhold

 

  http://bash.org/?234970 skrev:

<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.

<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"

<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"

<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"

<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"

<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.

<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"

<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"

<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.

<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.

<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec

<Tedward> what?

<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idioth.

*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman

<Tedward> Don't correct me, bitch.

 

Lo noe så sinnsykt av denne:

 

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  http://bash.org/?457037 skrev:

<Goatroper> so i had a checkup at the doctor a couple months ago

<Goatroper> i waited in the goddamn lobby for like 2 hours

<Goatroper> i was just starting to doze off when they called me back into one of the exam rooms

<Goatroper> so i sit on this chair for like 30 more mins, and then fall asleep

<Goatroper> i wake up and have no idea what time it is or how long i've been waiting

<Goatroper> so 20 minutes later after I finished reading the Hispanic Business Weekly

<Goatroper> I start diggin through the drawers in the exam table and his desk drawer

<Goatroper> i find some hypos and don't touch them, some dressing gowns, and then i get to the drawer marked "OB/GYN"

<Goatroper> i open it up, take a peeky-peek inside, and what do I see? Speculums and rectal dilators.

<Goatroper> At this point I'm in his desk rolly-chair

<Goatroper> with about 40 rubber gloves in my pockets for later use

<Goatroper> so I grab a speculum in each hand

<Goatroper> and start making them sing and talk like little ducks

<Goatroper> i was rooting around for a sharpie and couldn't find one

<Goatroper> so i put them down and did my glove-trick

<Goatroper> i stretched a rubber glove over my head and blew it up

<Goatroper> then i grabbbed the speculums and started spinning around in his chair

<Goatroper> glove inflated on my head the size of two basketballs

<Goatroper> speculum in each hand

<Goatroper> spinning in his office chair

<Goatroper> i hear footsteps and as i'm extending my legs to slow down, the door opens

<Goatroper> the doctor is standing there with my chart in his hand

<kr0nus> omg

<Goatroper> i stopped spinning and just sat there, looking at him through the thin film of the glove

<Goatroper> he was like "Corey.....?"

<Goatroper> I said "Yep."

<Goatroper> held up the speculums.

<Goatroper> said, "I got bored."

<Goatroper> and he was like "That's quite a trick with those gloves. Where did you learn that?"

<Goatroper> I said "Many doctor's offices in many states."

<Goatroper> He was like "You want to take some with you?" as I got up

<Goatroper> I pulled the wad out of my pocket and said "Already did."

<Goatroper> then I walked out and i heard him laughing like a goddamn maniac as soon as the door was closed

<Goatroper> then the other day i go in again rofl and he just hands me a brand new unopened box of 100 gloves

<Goatroper> i was gonna ask for some speculums just to fuck with him but I was afraid he'd give me some

 

 

 

 

Endret 8. desember 2008 av AlecTBM

[Alliha]

ahahaha

  Sitat

<Kin68ling> :-pd-:

<Kin68ling> two girls making out

<sadoomed> how do u know its not 2 men?

<Kin68ling> because i still have some faith left in the world

 

edit: <CompuMan> The tragedy of Canada is they could have had British culture, French cooking, and American technology, but instead they got American culture, British cooking, and French technology.

 

edit 2: <Pizza|> anyone know of some good mp rpgs

<kessel> RL is good

<Pizza|> whats rl ?

<kessel> Real Life

<Pizza|> link ?

Endret 9. desember 2008 av alliha

[Pokey]

 

  Vis skjult innhold

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?

<TheXPhial> vaccuums

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?

<TheXPhial> black holes

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?

<TheXPhial> lava?

 

 

 

  Vis skjult innhold

<Zybl0re> get up

<Zybl0re> get on up

<Zybl0re> get up

<Zybl0re> get on up

<phxl|paper> and DANCE

* nmp3bot dances ;D-<

* nmp3bot dances ;D|-<

* nmp3bot dances ;D/-<

<[sA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

 

 

MIN FAVORITT! LO HØYT!

 

  Vis skjult innhold

<born1986> why the fuck isn't my disc drive working

<born1986> i fucking worked on that essay for three friggin' hours in school

<born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my fuckin drive ain't working

<Z00ass> you got the right drivers?

<born1986> hell yes

<born1986> it was working fine yesterday

<born1986> why does this shit always happen to me?

<Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong position

<born1986> i havent touched it since school

<born1986> i'm growing impatient

<born1986> ANGRY even

<Z00ass> throw that shit out tha window

 

. . .

 

<born1986> OMG i fuckin did it!!!

<born1986> FUCK!!!!!

<Z00ass> it works?

<born1986> no, i threw it out the window

<Z00ass> the disk?

<born1986> NO the whole drive

<born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*

<Z00ass>

<born1986> FUCK SHIT FUCK

<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE

<born1986> brb

 

. . .

 

<born1986> shit

<Z00ass> what? did ya break it?

<born1986> well i couldn't open the drive

<born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock

<Z00ass> :o

<born1986> quite HARD

<born1986> and you know what?

<born1986> that fucking disk wasnt even there

<Z00ass> ???

<born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on to the freeway

<born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside my bag

<Z00ass> lol

<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE

<born1986> i'm actually cryin right now

 

. . .

 

<born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again

<born1986> brb

 

Endret 12. desember 2008 av -A-

[Gamlemor]

<Rage> Best pickup line ever is "Hey, does this smell like chloroform?"

[Keldon]

<Python> Did you fall from a shooting star?

<silly_girlie> hehe

<silly_girlie> ahh sure why not

<GLT23> because your face looks like it slammed into earth at 1500 mph? is that the end of the pickup line?

[AssKicR]

<taurnil> Something freakin hilarious happened in my chemistry class today

<taurnil> i was asking my teacher about the origins of the element "europium"

<taurnil> i said "So, where does eouropium come from?"

<taurnil> my teacher gives me the most confused look ever, and then slowly says "i don't have any opium"

 

 

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

 

 

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars

<Cthon98> ********* see!

<AzureDiamond> hunter2

<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me

<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******

<Cthon98> thats what I see

<AzureDiamond> oh, really?

<Cthon98> Absolutely

<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2

<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?

<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******

<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that

<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******

<AzureDiamond> awesome!

<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?

<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw

<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

 

 

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK

<tatclass> er.

<tatclass> hi.

<andy\code> A common typo.

<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

 

 

<k2xl> in 1998, i made a C++ program to calculate pi to a billion digits.

<k2xl> i coded it on my laptop (pentium 2 i think) and then ran the program.

<k2xl> the next day i got a new laptop but decided to keep the program running.

<k2xl> it's been over seven years now since i ran it. and this morning it finished calculating.

<k2xl> the output:

<k2xl> "THE VALUE OF PI TO THE BILLIONTH DIGIT IS = "

<k2xl> mindblowing eh?

<k2xl> i looked in the code of my program, and i found out that i forgot to output the value .

 

 

<Telius> Nobody escapes the Spanish Inquisition!

<codepoet> \S\p\a\n\i\s\h\ \I\q\u\i\s\i\t\i\o\n

[Xecuter]

  AssKicR skrev:

<Telius> Nobody escapes the Spanish Inquisition!

<codepoet> \S\p\a\n\i\s\h\ \I\q\u\i\s\i\t\i\o\n

 

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[joku]

<UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god

<UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke

<Jock> o...k

<UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live

<UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks

<UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental

<UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy